February 13th, 2012

word

birr [bur] n. 1. force; energy; vigor 2. emphasis in statement, speech, etc. 3. a whirring sound v. 4. to move with or make a whirring sound

birthday

Chuck Yeager (1923), George Segal (1934), Jerry Springer (1944), Peter Gabriel (1950), Henry Rollins (1961)

standpoint

Ah, the Grammys. I didn’t watch them last night but I read the results and, after much consideration, I came away with the following:

THE GRAMMYS BLOW.

quotation

We loved with a love that was more than love. ↔ Edgar Allan Poe

tune

To put it simply, The Roots just get it. They get better with each album and have honed their sound to the point few other musical acts have. Here’s “Lighthouse” off the latest album, Undun.

gallimaufry

→ So I’ve been doing my best to wake up earlier than I have in the past and one of the morning shows I’ve been trying to watch is Eye Opener on WPHL17 here in Philadelphia. And, boy, I’m sorry, but it’s pretty awful.

→ Thinking about buying shares in Facebook? Maybe you should read this first.

→ After years of pretending that I’d seen it, I’m proud to admit that this Saturday, I finally watched Air Force One from start to finish. What did you do with your Saturday that’s worth talking about?

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February 10th, 2012

word

hiemal [hahyuh-muhl] adj. of or pertaining to winter; wintry

birthday

Jimmy Durante (1893), Robert Wagner (1930), Roberta Flack (1937), Mark Spitz (1950), Glenn Beck (1964), Laura Dern (1967), Elizabeth Banks (1974)

standpoint

First, let me just say that Wednesday’s post was one of my most popular ever and that I appreciated all of the back-and-forth on Facebook. I was tossing around the idea of posting the comment strain here but decided not to as I’m unsure of the legality of re-publishing comments made on there.

Anyway, switching gears, here’s a portion of a conversation between two women I overheard the other night:

Woman #1: Did you read Gone With the Wind yet?

Woman#2: No, but I’m gonna get around to it.

Woman #1: Book group is in two days, the book is like 500 pages, you’re not gonna be able to read it. (eJ – Actually the book is over 1,ooo pages.)

Woman #2: Who cares? I’ll just get shitfaced so no one asks me any questions.

Nearby Guy: Actually, you could just watch the movie version.

Woman #1: They made a movie out of that book?

Nearby Guy: Yeah, it’s pretty famous, probably more famous than the book.

Woman #2: Right. See there? I’ll just watch the movie. Do you think it’s on Netflix?

Woman #1: I’m not sure but they got every movie on Netflix, so probably. But Netflix won’t get it to you on time. Book group is on Thursday.

Woman #2: Well, just tell me the gist, so I can act like I read it.

Woman #1: It all takes place during the Civil War.

Woman #2: Oh, it’s a war story. I hate those.

Woman #1: Nah, nah, it’s not like a shoot-em-up kind of story. It’s mostly a love story between this guy named Brett (Rhett) and this woman named Scarlett. And, if you ask me, Scarlett is the biggest moron that ever lived.

Woman #2: Is it a true story?

Woman #1: I don’t think so but maybe. Why?

Woman #2: You said “the biggest moron that ever lived.” Was she a real person?

Woman #1: No, I mean, she might have actually lived but I don’t know. My point is that she was a total fucking moron.

Woman #2: Okay, why?

Woman #1: I don’t know she just was. I’m not getting into with you because you didn’t read the goddamn book. So I started to get curious about the Civil War and look up some stuff. And I learned more through Google than I did actually reading the book.

Woman #2:  You know you can’t trust all the stuff you find on Google.

Woman #1: You think I don’t know that? But I did learn some shit.

Woman #2: Okay, what did you learn? Anything good?

Woman #1: Oh yeah. Tons. Like did you know that Negroes got the right to vote before women did?

Woman #2: No shit. Wait, are you sure? Negroes? Like how long before?

Woman #1: I don’t really remember but it was a while. A couple of years, I think. I couldn’t believe it, either. I would’ve bet anything women were allowed to vote before Negroes.

Woman #2: You can’t be right about that. Women weren’t first? It was Negroes?

At that point, I had to just walk away.

People are pretty outstanding.

quotation

A world where medical advances allow us to live forever is a terrifying thought. Imagine the crowd. ↔ Salman Rushdie

tune

If you’re cool like me, you’ll be at The Electric Factory in Philadelphia on Saturday, March 24th (hit that link right there to go and get tickets) to see Dr. Dog. I’m betting they’re going to play “That Old Black Hole” somewhere toward the end of their set because, wow, what a great song.

gallimaufry

→ Speaking of same-sex marriage, here’s Governor Christine Gregoire of Washington State doing the right thing.

Michael Vick‘s been attempting to show the world he’s a rehabilitated citizen, but it seems no one but Philadelphia Eagles fans are buying it. The guy just made the top of Forbes‘ list of America’s Most Disliked Athletes.

This isn’t true but it could be.

December 5th, 2011

Before I get started today, I wanted to take some time to thank everyone who came out to The Field House last Wednesday night for the happy hour in support of the Harvey Forsyth Memorial Fund. It was an amazing turnout and it was great to reacquaint with so many old friends (you who you are) who I hadn’t seen in years and years. For those of you who weren’t able to make it, don’t fret, there will be plenty more opportunities as the event wasn’t a one-shot deal.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone for all of the fantastic comments, through Facebook and text messages and emails and in person, about my post about Harv last Wednesday. It was a truly humbling experience. I really appreciate it.

word

bobbery [bobuh-ree] n. a disturbance; brawl

birthday

Martin Van Buren (1782), Walt Disney (1901), Strom Thurmond (1902), Dr. Dre (1963), Margaret Cho (1968)

standpoint

I usually steer clear of pontificating about the NFL on here for two reasons: (1) I don’t generally give a shit about the NFL and (2) No one seems to really give a shit about my opinion when it comes to the NFL.

But today I’m gonna do it anyway because I’ve become increasingly interested in the unlikely rise of Denver Broncos’ quarterback Tim Tebow, the guy who was supposed to suck as a quarterback in the NFL, despite being a Heisman Trophy winner and winning a national championship at the collegiate level.

For those of you who might’ve been recently rescued after becoming stranded in a mountainous region when your plane went down and are just now just catching up on everything you’ve missed in the past couple of months, here’s a quick recap on Tim Tebow’s so far:

1. Although Denver fans are clamoring for him to be the starter, Tim Tebow begins the NFL season as the number 3 quarterback on the Broncos’ depth chart.

2. The Broncos get off to a 1-4 start, prompting head coach John Fox to succumb to the pressure. He tags Tebow as his new starting quarterback.

3. Instead of floundering, as most experts predict he will, Tebow goes 6-1 as a starter and puts the Broncos in the improbable position of playoff hopefuls.

All right, so that’s what’s happened so far in a nutshell.

And it’s not the most important thing going on in the world but it is pretty interesting simply because everyone in the know when it comes to the NFL seems to be gleefully anticipating the day when Tebow falls flat on his face. And that’s most likely because they’re befuddled by how the dude just keeps winning games, week after week.

Predictability is the most appealing facet of the NFL. Sure, upsets occasionally happen but, for the most part, the outcome is sort of predetermined. That’s why NFL commentators have the best job in the world. They spend all week telling fans what team is going to win and what team is going to lose and the reasons why. And when they’re right, they proclaim their genius in an I-told-you-so tone. And when they’re wrong, they cite it as the very reason they love the game, praising the parity of the league, “any given Sunday” and all of that.

But Tebow confuses them. For all intents and purposes, he’s not supposed to be successful as an NFL quarterback. He’s not a gifted passer in a game that’s mostly all passing. He’s not a conventional player, a wildcard. He’s overly religious and too nice a guy. He’s not supported by his coach or the most important guy in Denver, John Elway.

In essence, Tebow’s been told, “Listen, buddy, we’ve explored all of the options and, really, if there was any other choice we’d be going with that but there’s none forthcoming so just get in there and try not to make us the laughing stock of the league.”

And Tebow probably doesn’t curse but if he did, he’s mostly likely saying something like, “Hey, fuckers, how do you like me now?”

quotation

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game. ↔ Paul Rodriguez

tune

Yet another unearthed song from my broken down, antique iPod that only works when it I plug into my laptop. Here’s “Teenagers Talking” by Sunny Day Sets Fire.

gallimaufry

→ If you’re ever in Philadelphia and you’re wondering to yourself what restaurant serves the best burger, follow these intructions: (1) Get your ass to 19th and Lombard where you’ll find The Pub and Kitchen. (2) Enter the building. (3) Order the Churchill Burger. (4) After it’s placed in front of you, eat the Churchill Burger. (5) Spend the next week telling everyone about it. (Like I’ve been doing.)

Don’t ask these people where they’re effin from. It’s kind of a sore subject.

Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign due to his murky grasp on fidelity and how it pertains to marriage. Yeah, the douchebag had a pretty slim shot at the presidency but I’m gonna miss his chutzpah.

November 1, 2011

word

rapine [rap-in, -ahyn] n. the violent seizure and carrying off of another’s property; plunder

birthday

Stephen Crane (1871), Larry Flynt (1942), Lyle Lovett (1957), Charlie Kaufman (1958), Anthony Kiedis (1962), Toni Collette (1971), Jenny McCarthy (1972)

standpoint

I’ve been meaning to update the About page of the blog for a while now. And the other night I did. So click here if you want to know more about me. If you don’t, keep moving down for the rest of today’s post, jerk.

quotation

Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on earth tolerable. ↔ Nick Hornby

tune

I’m not a huge fan of people asking me questions like, “What’s your all-time top 5 movies/albums/books/whatevers?” Granted, I’ve got those lists in my head but they may not be the same from one day to the next so I dislike providing them. I always think of additions or subtractions and want to make amendments but the moment has passed. It’s out there and I can’t get it back.  But there are a few constants on those lists. For instance, my Top 5 Favorite Songs list will always include “Hyperspace” by Nada Surf.

gallimaufry

→ I’m annoyed with myself right now. Sometimes I come across a news item that makes me thankful for being served such a softball and I can’t wait to write something witty about it and it just doesn’t come. Anyway, Michael Vick now owns a parrot. Sigh. I’m better than this.

→ Last week I wrote about Herman Cain and how the dude is the king of backtracking. Yesterday, Cain spent his time refuting allegations of sexual harassment. At first he had no recollection of any such allegations. Later he said all the talk of allegations kind of jogged his memory but details were still kind of fuzzy. By evening, the fuzziness was apparently lifted and he was able to provide a detailed account of not only the allegations but how those allegations were handled by his attorneys. I’m real curious to see how this pans out in terms of his campaign.

→ It’s not always easily discernible if The Onion is reporting actual stuff or just fucking around. It must be a blast to work there.

October 24, 2011

word

erudition [er-yoodishuhn, er-oo-] n. knowledge acquired by study, research, etc.; learning; scholarship

birthday

Melvin Purvis (1903), The Big Bopper (1930), Bill Wyman (1936), F. Murray Abraham (1939), Kevin Kline (1947), Scott Peterson (1972)

standpoint

Why aren’t you posting everyday? I noticed you haven’t updated your blog, is everything okay? Hey, you need to start posing again, I miss reading your blog every morning, why did you stop?

Every time I take a break from writing here, I get emails asking me those questions. Not a ton of emails but enough to make me feel like I’m disappointing people. And then I feel like I need to start posting again and feel guilty when I don’t.

Often, I regret naming this blog the euneJeune daily, mainly because of the daily. It’s not easy coming up with five posts a week and some weeks I might not even have two in me. And then I get frustrated that I can’t keep up the pace I established when I first started writing here over two years ago. The discouragement I feel inevitably leads me to step back from it, always intending to come back.

When I’m actively posting here, I enjoy it very much. I’m leaps and bounds away from being the most popular blogger on the Internet but when it comes to traffic, I do all right garnering 150-200 hits on days with new posts and 50-75 hits on days without. I can live with that. It’s a pretty solid amount considering I’m doing no promotion save for a Facebook update via Twitter (via Twuffer).

Writing this blog is satisfying when I’m doing it right. But I’m not always doing it right. Sometimes I half-ass it just to get a new post up. Or I don’t have thoughts worth sharing. Or I do but I’m a little muddled for any number or reasons. Or I’m simply tired. Or I’m out having a good time with someone somewhere. Or, well, you get the idea.

Another occasionally troubling aspect of this blog is most readers are people I personally know. Plenty of times I’ll be writing passionately about something I believe in and all of a sudden my mind goes to who’s going to be reading. What will my girlfriend think? What about my parents’ friends? What about some of my regulars at the bar? And so on. I worry my opinions might make people think differently, or maybe even less, of me. So I start toning things down and pulling back until I’ve created a post easily digestible by all. Granted, often I write whatever the hell I want. But, in my opinion, I should be doing that each and every time, not just when I can summon the nerve.

So what am I getting at here? I’m not sure yet but when I dwell on it, I keep coming back to the idea that I’m going be fundamentally changing this blog. Streamlining, trimming the fat as it were. Being honest no matter what. Making it concise and more readable so that readers won’t have to sift through things they’re not interested in to get to what they are.

For better or worse, that’s where I’m headed. Thanks for reading.

quotation

Make the best of every moment. We’re not evolving. We’re not going anywhere. ↔ David Bowie

tune

One positive aspect of my hiatuses from this blog is that, when I come back, I’ve got a brand new arsenal of new music to share. Here’s “Shaky” from The Duke & The King. It’s one of the best songs I’ve heard in a while.

gallimaufry

→ During my absence I gained exactly zero ground on struggles with the second season of Louie. It’s frustrating because I know I’m supposed to like it. It should be located squarely in my wheelhouse but for reasons I can’t fathom, it’s simply not clicking like it could. And when Chuck Klosterman chimed in I imagined I would finally get to the bottom of this completely inconsequential inner squabble. It didn’t help.

→ From what I’ve read about Sean Parker, he appears to be a master of flimflam. But he may have a point here.

Hey, Iran, we might be leaving Iraq but don’t think that means you should feel free to just stroll right in after we’re gone. Just do us a fucking favor and be cool for once. I mean seriously, why do you guys always gotta be such dicks?

05.23.11 – a monday

word

tyro [tahy-ro] n. a beginner in learning anything; novice

birthday

Douglas Fairbanks (1883), Scatman Crothers (1910), Joan Collins (1933), Drew Carey (1958), Jewel (1974)

standpoint

Yesterday was my birthday and, holy shit, the amount of emails, Facebook messages, texts and calls I received was pretty damn humbling.

But as great a day as it was, there was a twinge of sadness that, at first, I couldn’t figure out. And then I realized it was the first birthday in a well over a decade with no Harv. For those of you who might not know, my best friend Harvey Forsyth passed away last November. One of the countless things I loved about him was that, while he was ever reluctant to make a big deal about his own birthday, he was always more than willing to make a big deal out of mine.

I’m not discounting all of the fantastic sentiments I received yesterday because that’s simply not the case. I truly appreciated every last one. But, without a second’s hesitation, I would trade all of them for one more chance to sit next to Harv at our favorite bar as he held up his beer to meet mine and wished me a happy birthday.

quotation

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. ↔ Frank Lloyd Wright

tune

This one’s gonna take a little patience. If I was only allowed to listen to 20 songs for the rest of my life, “Tokyo” by Bob Schneider would be a shoe-in. This is the only video I could find of it and it’s not that great and there’s a fanboy singing along at parts but I think the lyrics are some of the best around. Enjoy.

gallimaufry

The answer to the question posed in the title of this article is a very loud and resounding, “WHY WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME WRITING THIS?”

→ I’m constantly back and forth about Daniel Tosh. Sometimes, I think we might get along famously. Other times, I’m convinced he’d be annoying on a level I haven’t experienced. I’m relatively sure, when he thinks about me, he’s having the same sort of internal struggle.

→ Okay. Fine. The Vancouver Canucks is the best team in the NHL. I was wrong. You guys were right. I can’t call them all so just shut up about it all ready.

05.03.11 – a tuesday

word

dandle [dan-dl] v. 1. to move (a baby, child, etc.) lightly up and down, as on one’s knee or in one’s arms 2. to pet; pamper

birthday

Bing Crosby (1903), Pete Seeger (1919), James Brown (1933), Frankie Valli (1934), Greg Gumbel (1946), Christopher Cross (1951)

standpoint

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, I can feel relief, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. ‘Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.’

That was last night’s Facebook status du jour in response to killing of Osama bin Laden. People were crediting Martin Luther King, Jr. with the quote but I couldn’t find any evidence to back that up.

In any case, someone came up with it and, while it’s poetic and well-intentioned, it’s a bunch of bullshit. (Although I do really like the “a night already devoid of stars” line. Very dramatic.)

Sorry, but sometimes an act of hate needs to feel the force of an equally hateful act. If someone out there has an idea how a response involving “love” was the right way to handle one of the most evil men that ever existed, then I’m all ears. What were we going to do? Stage an intervention? Put him in therapy? Tell his mother what he’s been up to and just let her deal with it?

No. Sorry. Usually I’m the guy who hates killing. I abhor violence as an end result to almost anything. Except this. For me, it wasn’t an eye-for-an-eye scenario. It wasn’t about revenge. It was about making things right. It was about correcting an error. Osama bin Laden had done enough. He needed to go away.

And, yes, I know, I know. You detractors out there will say we’re really going to need to watch out because his followers will be pissed and looking to take action. But, guess what? They’ve been pissed and have been scheming for years. Only now they’ll have to do it without the asshole who was pulling the strings. And if that saves the life of even one innocent person, then I’m unquestionably on board. And if you’re not in agreement then you should be asking yourself why not. I’d love to hear your reasoning.

quotation

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little. ↔ Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith-Johannsen

tune

Some people don’t really dig on They Might Be Giants. Those people are complete morons. Here’s “Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal.” Whether you think so or not, it’s good stuff.

gallimaufry

I can only imagine that when it opens up in June, I’ll have no choice but to like Grantland.com. Bill Simmons? Chuck Klosterman? Dave Eggers? Malcolm Gladwell? How could that website suck?

→ Christ, could Michael Moore be more irrelevant?

→ I’m not going to list all of the acts appearing at the 20th anniversary of Lollapalooza in Chicago this August but you should definitely click here to take a look. We should plan a trip and check this out. Who’s driving?