January 19th, 2012

word

swivet [swiv-it] n. a state of nervous excitement, haste or anxiety; flutter: I was in such a swivet that I could hardly speak.

birthday

Due to yesterday’s Wikipedia blackout over SOPA and PIPA, I won’t be providing people’s birthdays today. Yeah, government is rocking it.

standpoint

So I haven’t been posting. I don’t really have an excuse worth submitting.

Also, I don’t really have a clear standpoint today. But I’m going to share some thoughts I’ve been having and you can deem them a waste of your time or not and let me know after you’re done.

→ The GOP Presidential candidates. Shit. You guys made a huge fucking mistake when you ceased being fun. Bring back Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann because the rest of you guys are sort of hateful and boring. And, c’mon, it’s gonna be Romney. And he’s gonna lose to Obama. And everyone’s gonna spend four more years bitching. I think this is something that, besides those of you who are hoping against hope, we should all just agree on.

→ On a side note, if you GOP clowns are looking to actually back someone I’d be interested in your bringing your very own Jimmy McMillan into these debates. An “exquisitely bearded 64-year old ex-postal worker” who “is no stranger to controversies?” The American public deserves to know more.

Rick Santorum is actually still in the race. Seriously? What the fuck, people? Are there still people out there who believe in what Santorum has to say? Thinly veiled racist and homophobic statements? Rick Santorum embodies the exact opposite direction this country needs to go in. If you disagree with me on that, I encourage you to drive off a fucking bridge. Seriously. If you even know how to use the internet, click on Google Maps, find the nearest bridge and step on the gas pedal. (And, Fox News has once again nailed it right on the head with this superb article that means absolutely nothing to anyone. Great job, Dan Gainor.) See what I did there with all the links? Pretty clever, right? Here’s another.

→ On a lighter note, I think I’m finally coming around to The Office without Steve Carell. Maybe I should’ve put that one first.

quotation

What other people think of me is none of my business. ↔ Gary Oldman

tune

If shown this video to about a dozen people and about eleven of them loved. (The one exception was my good friend Joe who wondered if there was something wrong with me.) Joe’s objections aside, I think this song, and accompanying video is one of the best things I’ve heard in quite some time. Here’s “Losers” from The Belle Brigade.

gallimaufry

→ I wonder if, because of all this social networking, celebrities get pissed at each other when shit like this happens. Will Peyton Manning say something to Rob Lowe the next time their paths cross?

→ Yesterday, while painting a hallway, I listened to NPR’s interview with Nicholas Money and everything he had to say about mushrooms. It didn’t strike me until I was writing this that Samantha and I struggled over which mushroom pizza to order last night at Arpeggio’s. I guess Mr. Money’s description of various fungi didn’t make a dent. Also, if you’re thinking about dining at Arpeggio’s, seriously consider take-out. I’ve gotten better service at 3am from a strung-out diner waitress. Food was good, though.

→ Hey, if Francesco Schettino, the captain of the Costa Concordia says he “tripped” into a lifeboat, than I’m gonna take his word for it. I mean, it’s just too awful an excuse to not be true.

December 5th, 2011

Before I get started today, I wanted to take some time to thank everyone who came out to The Field House last Wednesday night for the happy hour in support of the Harvey Forsyth Memorial Fund. It was an amazing turnout and it was great to reacquaint with so many old friends (you who you are) who I hadn’t seen in years and years. For those of you who weren’t able to make it, don’t fret, there will be plenty more opportunities as the event wasn’t a one-shot deal.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone for all of the fantastic comments, through Facebook and text messages and emails and in person, about my post about Harv last Wednesday. It was a truly humbling experience. I really appreciate it.

word

bobbery [bobuh-ree] n. a disturbance; brawl

birthday

Martin Van Buren (1782), Walt Disney (1901), Strom Thurmond (1902), Dr. Dre (1963), Margaret Cho (1968)

standpoint

I usually steer clear of pontificating about the NFL on here for two reasons: (1) I don’t generally give a shit about the NFL and (2) No one seems to really give a shit about my opinion when it comes to the NFL.

But today I’m gonna do it anyway because I’ve become increasingly interested in the unlikely rise of Denver Broncos’ quarterback Tim Tebow, the guy who was supposed to suck as a quarterback in the NFL, despite being a Heisman Trophy winner and winning a national championship at the collegiate level.

For those of you who might’ve been recently rescued after becoming stranded in a mountainous region when your plane went down and are just now just catching up on everything you’ve missed in the past couple of months, here’s a quick recap on Tim Tebow’s so far:

1. Although Denver fans are clamoring for him to be the starter, Tim Tebow begins the NFL season as the number 3 quarterback on the Broncos’ depth chart.

2. The Broncos get off to a 1-4 start, prompting head coach John Fox to succumb to the pressure. He tags Tebow as his new starting quarterback.

3. Instead of floundering, as most experts predict he will, Tebow goes 6-1 as a starter and puts the Broncos in the improbable position of playoff hopefuls.

All right, so that’s what’s happened so far in a nutshell.

And it’s not the most important thing going on in the world but it is pretty interesting simply because everyone in the know when it comes to the NFL seems to be gleefully anticipating the day when Tebow falls flat on his face. And that’s most likely because they’re befuddled by how the dude just keeps winning games, week after week.

Predictability is the most appealing facet of the NFL. Sure, upsets occasionally happen but, for the most part, the outcome is sort of predetermined. That’s why NFL commentators have the best job in the world. They spend all week telling fans what team is going to win and what team is going to lose and the reasons why. And when they’re right, they proclaim their genius in an I-told-you-so tone. And when they’re wrong, they cite it as the very reason they love the game, praising the parity of the league, “any given Sunday” and all of that.

But Tebow confuses them. For all intents and purposes, he’s not supposed to be successful as an NFL quarterback. He’s not a gifted passer in a game that’s mostly all passing. He’s not a conventional player, a wildcard. He’s overly religious and too nice a guy. He’s not supported by his coach or the most important guy in Denver, John Elway.

In essence, Tebow’s been told, “Listen, buddy, we’ve explored all of the options and, really, if there was any other choice we’d be going with that but there’s none forthcoming so just get in there and try not to make us the laughing stock of the league.”

And Tebow probably doesn’t curse but if he did, he’s mostly likely saying something like, “Hey, fuckers, how do you like me now?”

quotation

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game. ↔ Paul Rodriguez

tune

Yet another unearthed song from my broken down, antique iPod that only works when it I plug into my laptop. Here’s “Teenagers Talking” by Sunny Day Sets Fire.

gallimaufry

→ If you’re ever in Philadelphia and you’re wondering to yourself what restaurant serves the best burger, follow these intructions: (1) Get your ass to 19th and Lombard where you’ll find The Pub and Kitchen. (2) Enter the building. (3) Order the Churchill Burger. (4) After it’s placed in front of you, eat the Churchill Burger. (5) Spend the next week telling everyone about it. (Like I’ve been doing.)

Don’t ask these people where they’re effin from. It’s kind of a sore subject.

Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign due to his murky grasp on fidelity and how it pertains to marriage. Yeah, the douchebag had a pretty slim shot at the presidency but I’m gonna miss his chutzpah.

November 23, 2011

word

bibliophage [bib-lee-uh-feyj] n. an ardent reader; a bookworm

birthday

William H. “Billy the Kid” Bonney (1859) (most likely inaccurate), Boris Karloff (1887), Harpo Marx (1888), Bruce Hornsby (1954), Chris Hardwick (1971), Miley Cyrus (1992)

standpoint

I’ve watched a lot of movies. And when it comes to movies there’s about a million lists out there of the best this and the worst that and what have you. But one list that’s mostly overlooked is The Biggest Assholes in Movie History. Sure there are a few out there but it’s largely an explored area. So I thought I would weigh in on this topic that is obviously in dire need of address. So here’s my list…so far.

Justin Timberlake as Sean Parker in The Social Network – Usually, Timberlake does his best to look squeaky clean in his cinematic endeavors but I gotta respect the guy for taking this role and doing a great job with it.

Hart Bochner as Harry Ellis in Die Hard – Ok, I know he’s more comic relief than serious asshole but the guy exemplifies every douchebag in the 80s. (Side note: I had no Bochner directed PCU until I had to look him up for this post.)

Matt Damon as Charlie Dillon in School Ties – If you can watch this movie and not want to punch real-life Matt Damon in the face, you’ve got ice water running through your veins.

Gene Hackman as John Herod in The Quick and The Dead – This clip doesn’t really reveal the extent of what a gigantic shithead Hackman plays in this movie but it’s the best scene so I thought I would include it.

William Atherton as Walter Peck in Ghostbusters – Atherton might be a very nice guy in real life but he will always be known for being one of the biggest assholes to ever grace the screen. I could’ve also cited him for Die Hard or Real Genius.

So that’s that. Feel free to comment if you think there are any I’ve overlooked.

quotation

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ↔ Jon Stewart

tune

Here’s the thing about The Muppets: They’re fucking awesome. Even though, they’re not technically members of the human race, they sum up everything great about it. They always assume the best about whatever situation they find themselves in. But they’re also incredibly sarcastic and, at times, they do actually get angry. But, in the end, they always forgive. I love this clip of Jason Segel’s SNL monologue from this past Saturday. (Sorry, you’re going to have to clip on the link. It wouldn’t embed properly.)

gallimaufry

→ Last night, CNN aired the GOP National Security Debate. I listened to most of it as I was preparing this post. When is the GOP going to realize it is doing itself absolutely no service by holding all of these debates? It’s become comical. My favorite part was when Herman Cain addressed Wolf Blitzer as “Blitz.” Here’s an article on some of the other gaffes from last night’s hi-jinks.

→ I know I’m probably beating this to death but what else is new? Yesterday, on 97.5 The Fanatic, Mike Missanelli interviewed Eric Lindros and John LeClair. During the interview, they discussed their latest charity efforts with CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia), what it was like to play with each other, Lindros’ feelings about his return to the city that shunned him and lots of other stuff.

→ I won’t be posting again until sometime next week. Happy Thanksgiving!

November 2, 2011

word

solicitous [suhlis-i-tuhs] adj. 1. anxious or concerned (usually followed by about, for, etc., or a clause): solicitous about a person’s health 2. anxiously desirous: solicitous of the esteem of others 3. eager (usually followed by an infinitive): He was always solicitous to please 4. careful or particular: a solicitous housekeeper

birthday

Daniel Boone (1734), Marie Antoinette (1755), James Knox Polk (1795), Warren G. Harding (1865), Burt Lancaster (1913), Pat Buchanan (1938), Pat Croce (1954), k.d. lang (1961), David Schwimmer (1966), Nelly (1974)

standpoint

This year’s NHL Winter Classic is going to happen right here in Philadelphia. I understand this shouldn’t be breaking news.

But, while I’m excited to see the Flyers take on the New York Rangers in the great outdoors on New Year’s Day, I’m even more psyched for the Alumni Game that will take place the night before.

And that’s because my favorite hockey player of all-time will be lacing up the skates once again. That’s right. Eric Lindros will be wearing a Flyers’ sweater for the first time in over a decade. Also, John LeClair will be joining him.

For a hockey geek like me, it just doesn’t get any better that.

quotation

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different. ↔ Chuck Klosterman

tune

Last week I featured the title track from Gomez‘s latest, Whatever’s On Your Mind. I can’t stop listening to the frickin’ album. Here’s “Song In My Heart.”

gallimaufry

→ “I would think that he would be eager to get all the details out as quickly as possible if he is as innocent as he is describing himself in all of this.” Quote from Tom Brokaw on the alleged sexual harassment charges against Herman Cain. True dat, Brokaw. True dat.

→ My brother Jeremy told me about www.flyersgoalscoredby.com and it’s a pretty good site. But even if you don’t give a shit about hockey you need to read this post about a Buffalo Sabres’ fan cruising Craigslist for a date to tonight’s game. Funny and sad. But mostly funny.

→ This will probably be my last post this week as I’ve got some social stuff going on. But I wanted to mention how surprised I am about yesterday’s site traffic. I was kind of nervous to see everyone’s reaction because I wrote some pretty personal stuff but I received more hits than I have in a long time. Much appreciated. Thanks for reading.

November 1, 2011

word

rapine [rap-in, -ahyn] n. the violent seizure and carrying off of another’s property; plunder

birthday

Stephen Crane (1871), Larry Flynt (1942), Lyle Lovett (1957), Charlie Kaufman (1958), Anthony Kiedis (1962), Toni Collette (1971), Jenny McCarthy (1972)

standpoint

I’ve been meaning to update the About page of the blog for a while now. And the other night I did. So click here if you want to know more about me. If you don’t, keep moving down for the rest of today’s post, jerk.

quotation

Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on earth tolerable. ↔ Nick Hornby

tune

I’m not a huge fan of people asking me questions like, “What’s your all-time top 5 movies/albums/books/whatevers?” Granted, I’ve got those lists in my head but they may not be the same from one day to the next so I dislike providing them. I always think of additions or subtractions and want to make amendments but the moment has passed. It’s out there and I can’t get it back.  But there are a few constants on those lists. For instance, my Top 5 Favorite Songs list will always include “Hyperspace” by Nada Surf.

gallimaufry

→ I’m annoyed with myself right now. Sometimes I come across a news item that makes me thankful for being served such a softball and I can’t wait to write something witty about it and it just doesn’t come. Anyway, Michael Vick now owns a parrot. Sigh. I’m better than this.

→ Last week I wrote about Herman Cain and how the dude is the king of backtracking. Yesterday, Cain spent his time refuting allegations of sexual harassment. At first he had no recollection of any such allegations. Later he said all the talk of allegations kind of jogged his memory but details were still kind of fuzzy. By evening, the fuzziness was apparently lifted and he was able to provide a detailed account of not only the allegations but how those allegations were handled by his attorneys. I’m real curious to see how this pans out in terms of his campaign.

→ It’s not always easily discernible if The Onion is reporting actual stuff or just fucking around. It must be a blast to work there.

October 26, 2011

word

bunkum [buhng-kuhm] n. 1. insincere speechmaking by a politician intended merely to please local constituents 2. insincere talk; claptrap; humbug

birthday

Bob Hoskins (1942), Pat Conroy (1945), Pat Sajak (1946), Bootsy Collins (1951), Rita Wilson (1956), Dylan McDermott (1961), Cary Elwes (1962), Natalie Merchant (1963), Seth MacFarlane (1973), Jon Heder (1977)

standpoint

It’s funny to me how people are treating the 2012 Presidential election. First of all, it’s not even 2012 yet. Also, despite what the media is pushing, the race hasn’t even begun yet. And the GOP should be happy about it because if conservative voters keep changing their collective mind about who they want to go against Obama, they’re gonna run out of viable candidates before this whole thing gets properly started.

Every week there’s a new “front runner.” Mitt Romney, Rick Perry and even Michele Bachmann have had their reign as heir apparent. And now it’s Herman Cain.

Herman Cain. Conservative. Black. CEO. Lunatic. I’m not using that last word in a negative way because, to paraphrase the immortal Billy Joel, it might just be a lunatic we’re looking for.

I mean the guy just says whatever the hell he wants, whenever he wants. He’ll make a statement one day, then come back a little later and contradict it. Or maybe he’ll expound on it. Or maybe he’ll just flat out deny he ever said it. It doesn’t matter if what he’s saying from one minute to the next is true because it appears like it is. He speaks in such a way that you just kind of want to believe whatever words happen to be falling out of his mouth are the truth.

Here’s a great article detailing how Cain is clearly the new zen master of shucking and jiving.

Right now, Cain is an amusing figure, a kind of curiosity. He’s an eloquent man participating in debates and interviews in which the subject matter is entirely hypothetical. I’m mostly sure that when it’s time to get serious, when everyone is looking for actual answers, when it’s time to play for real, Cain will be less appealing.

But, while I never want to live in a world where Herman Cain is running anything but his mouth, I have to admit that I kind of dig his whole free-wheeling, in-your-face demeanor. Now if only we could get someone worthwhile to do the same. Finger crossed, folks.

quotation

Forget governments. Focus on the individuals. ↔ Mohamed ElBaradei

tune

A few weeks back, I picked up 12 Desperate Straight Lines by Telekinesis because the sticker on the CD read, “Spin says, ‘If you don’t like Telekinesis, your ears don’t work.'” Strong words. Maybe a little too strong. But it’s still a good listen. Check out “I Cannot Love You”

gallimaufry

→ Dear Arby’s, as a nationwide purveyor of meat sandwiches, I gotta believe you’ve got a pretty sizable marketing department. Furthermore, I find it hard to fathom someone in that marketing department didn’t maybe tell you that no one in Philadelphia calls a cheese steak a “Philly.” It’s not the most important thing going on in the world right now but it’s just bugging the shit out of me.

Here’s yet another example of how The Onion can be more accurate than the actual sports media.

→ This is great. Here’s the media reporting on how the media is losing interest in Occupy Wall Street. Maybe the media should be focusing on why people are losing interest in the media.

October 25, 2011

word

judder [juhd-er] v. 1. to vibrate violently: an old automobile with a clutch that judders n. 2. a state or instance of juddering

birthday

Pablo Picasso (1881), Minnie Pearl (1912), Marion Ross (1928), James Carville (1944), Adam Goldberg (1970), Katy Perry (1984)

standpoint

I spent much of last night on the phone catching up with a close friend.

So the next time I post you’ll get to read all about what I think about Herman Fuckin’ Cain.

Also, this was my 300th post. Pretty cool.

quotation

An ant colony is far more intelligent than an ant. ↔ E.O. Wilson

tune

If you don’t like music, you’re a straight up weirdo. But if you do like music, especially the good kind, you need to purchase Whatever’s On Your Mind, the latest album from Gomez. I seriously deliberated about which song to post up here today and decided on the title track.

gallimaufry

→ What genius thought it would be a good idea to bring back Beavis and Butthead? I’m gonna be upset about this for more than a day or two. Fucking depressing.

This story actually made me smile when I read it. Police officers from Albany inspiring a nation. Who would’ve guessed?

→ I’m just going to say it: Michele Bachmann is in full possession of the crazy eyes. I know it’s sexist and derogatory toward women but it’s also completely and 100% true.