February 10th, 2012

word

hiemal [hahyuh-muhl] adj. of or pertaining to winter; wintry

birthday

Jimmy Durante (1893), Robert Wagner (1930), Roberta Flack (1937), Mark Spitz (1950), Glenn Beck (1964), Laura Dern (1967), Elizabeth Banks (1974)

standpoint

First, let me just say that Wednesday’s post was one of my most popular ever and that I appreciated all of the back-and-forth on Facebook. I was tossing around the idea of posting the comment strain here but decided not to as I’m unsure of the legality of re-publishing comments made on there.

Anyway, switching gears, here’s a portion of a conversation between two women I overheard the other night:

Woman #1: Did you read Gone With the Wind yet?

Woman#2: No, but I’m gonna get around to it.

Woman #1: Book group is in two days, the book is like 500 pages, you’re not gonna be able to read it. (eJ – Actually the book is over 1,ooo pages.)

Woman #2: Who cares? I’ll just get shitfaced so no one asks me any questions.

Nearby Guy: Actually, you could just watch the movie version.

Woman #1: They made a movie out of that book?

Nearby Guy: Yeah, it’s pretty famous, probably more famous than the book.

Woman #2: Right. See there? I’ll just watch the movie. Do you think it’s on Netflix?

Woman #1: I’m not sure but they got every movie on Netflix, so probably. But Netflix won’t get it to you on time. Book group is on Thursday.

Woman #2: Well, just tell me the gist, so I can act like I read it.

Woman #1: It all takes place during the Civil War.

Woman #2: Oh, it’s a war story. I hate those.

Woman #1: Nah, nah, it’s not like a shoot-em-up kind of story. It’s mostly a love story between this guy named Brett (Rhett) and this woman named Scarlett. And, if you ask me, Scarlett is the biggest moron that ever lived.

Woman #2: Is it a true story?

Woman #1: I don’t think so but maybe. Why?

Woman #2: You said “the biggest moron that ever lived.” Was she a real person?

Woman #1: No, I mean, she might have actually lived but I don’t know. My point is that she was a total fucking moron.

Woman #2: Okay, why?

Woman #1: I don’t know she just was. I’m not getting into with you because you didn’t read the goddamn book. So I started to get curious about the Civil War and look up some stuff. And I learned more through Google than I did actually reading the book.

Woman #2:  You know you can’t trust all the stuff you find on Google.

Woman #1: You think I don’t know that? But I did learn some shit.

Woman #2: Okay, what did you learn? Anything good?

Woman #1: Oh yeah. Tons. Like did you know that Negroes got the right to vote before women did?

Woman #2: No shit. Wait, are you sure? Negroes? Like how long before?

Woman #1: I don’t really remember but it was a while. A couple of years, I think. I couldn’t believe it, either. I would’ve bet anything women were allowed to vote before Negroes.

Woman #2: You can’t be right about that. Women weren’t first? It was Negroes?

At that point, I had to just walk away.

People are pretty outstanding.

quotation

A world where medical advances allow us to live forever is a terrifying thought. Imagine the crowd. ↔ Salman Rushdie

tune

If you’re cool like me, you’ll be at The Electric Factory in Philadelphia on Saturday, March 24th (hit that link right there to go and get tickets) to see Dr. Dog. I’m betting they’re going to play “That Old Black Hole” somewhere toward the end of their set because, wow, what a great song.

gallimaufry

→ Speaking of same-sex marriage, here’s Governor Christine Gregoire of Washington State doing the right thing.

Michael Vick‘s been attempting to show the world he’s a rehabilitated citizen, but it seems no one but Philadelphia Eagles fans are buying it. The guy just made the top of Forbes‘ list of America’s Most Disliked Athletes.

This isn’t true but it could be.

04.12.11 – a tuesday

word

milquetoast [milk-tohst] n. a very timid, unassertive, spineless person, especially one who is easily dominated or intimidated: a milquetoast who’s afraid to ask for a raise

birthday

Henry Clay (1777), Beverly Cleary (1916), Tiny Tim (1932), Herbie Hancock (1940), Ed O’Neill (1946), Tom Clancy (1947), David Letterman (1947), David Cassidy (1950), Jon Krakauer (1954), Andy García (1956), Vince Gill (1957), Art Alexakis (1962), Shannen Doherty (1971), Claire Danes (1979)

standpoint

I’ve got an imaginative brain. I am constantly wondering about the world around me. Here’s a new segment called I’m Wondering.

Here’s how it works: each one of the following sentences begin with the words I’m Wondering… Easy enough. Let’s start.

I’m Wondering…

…who out there is actually taking Donald Trump and his inane rhetoric seriously? Obama is fair game but he crossed the line when he attacked The Cos.

…if the dudes on Pawn Stars really know as much as they seem to on the show? Also, is the title supposed to be derivative of the term “pornstars?”

…why B. J. Novak enjoys a top billing during the opening credits of The Office? I know he’s one of the show’s writers and producers but the character he plays is relatively minor.

…if I’m friends with anyone who’s remotely interested in the upcoming Royal Wedding and if they’re concerned that me finding that out will immediately end our friendship?

…how in the world it took this long for Glenn Beck to get the ax from Fox News? Who was buying what that clown was selling anyway?

quotation

To poke a wood fire is more solid enjoyment than almost anything in the world. ↔ Charles Dudley Warner

tune

Tragic tales of music bands are a dime-a-dozen but they’re especially sad when a freak car accident kills two members a mere month before the release of their debut album. Such was the case with For Squirrels, a mid-90s group from Florida that could’ve gone on to do great things. Here’s “Mighty KC.”

gallimaufry

Coldwater, Michigan gets it. Now let’s follow its lead and start making sense.

→ The upcoming months will feature new releases by elbow, Foo Fighters, TV On the Radio, Gorillaz, Pinback, Regina Spektor, I’m From Barcelona, Explosions In the Sky, Steve Earle, Times New Viking, Architecture In Helsinki, Beastie Boys, Fleet Foxes, The Felice Brothers, Here We Go Magic, Okkervil River, The Sea and the Cake, David Bazan and Death Cab for Cutie to name just a few. It’s no Spring 2010 but it’ll do, right?

→ How is this for a sad story? The Winklevoss twins pitched a business concept to Mark Zuckerberg, a guy roughly about ten times smarter than the two of them combined. He steals their idea and creates arguably the most successful business in the history of humanity. They get pissed, sue and get $65 million (now worth $160 million) for basically doing nothing but having an original idea. And now some court has, in essence, told them, “Move on. Enough is enough.” It’s pretty damn disheartening when two spoiled nitwits,who are all ready worth a couple hundred million, are told to stop wasting everyone’s time. This is still the USA, right?

02.10.11 – a thursday

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word

junta [hoon-ta,  juhn-, huhn-] n. 1. a small group ruling a country, esp. immediately after a coup d’état and before a legally constituted government has been instituted 2. a council 3. a deliberative or administrative council, esp. in Spain and Latin America

birthday

Charles Lamb (1775), Jimmy Durante (1893), Robert Wagner (1930), Roberta Flack (1937), Mark Spitz (1950), Jim Cramer (1955), Greg Norman (1955), George Stephanopoulos (1961), Glenn Beck (1964), Laura Dern (1967), Elizabeth Banks (1974)

standpoint

So it’s been a while since I’ve been doing this every day and it feels great to be back.

During the hiatus, lots of stuff has happened, some great, some bad, and some absolutely devastating.

November 30th, 2010 was, hands down, the worst day of my life so far. That was the day Harvey, my best friend, passed away after fighting leukemia for the better part of a year.

I’m completely aware that most of you who read this are folks who know me on a personal level and, if you’ve known me for any stretch of time in the past 20 years, you inevitably came into contact with Harvey.

Tomorrow, I’m going to attempt to pay tribute to him in the way he deserves. Today, however, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite pictures of him.

quotation

I do not diminish the incredible symbolic importance of a black man getting elected president. But my euphoria was a smart man getting elected president. Maybe for the first time in my lifetime we had elected one of the thousand smartest Americans presidents.Aaron Sorkin

tune

I’ve never made a secret of the fact that, while my music interests dwell almost completely within the indie rock realm, I tend to almost always lean toward the pop side of the genre. It’s true that hipsters and I don’t really see eye-to-eye while discussing the merits of certain music. Also, it’s true I have been involved in heated conversations in which, afterwards, one friend or another has accused me of “taking a friendly debate and turning it into an uncomfortable, evening-ending tirade.” Well, maybe but whatever. In any case, here’s Swedish pop duo Marching Band‘s “Another Day.” Enjoy.

gallimaufry

How much would you like to bet Dallas won’t be in the running for hosting any more Super Bowls for a while? Good job, Jerry Jones.

→ Dear Christopher Lee, now that you’ve suddenly found yourself with an abundance of free time, why not take that time to try to become smarter? Sending a shirtless pic to some random woman on you met on Craigslist? Dude, come on.

→ Have you tried Xtranormal? It’s the site responsible for the weird GEICO tv ads. You can make your own short movies using its characters, themes and whatnot. It was a pretty fun 20 minutes until I lost interest.

04.30.10 – A Friday

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much obliged

Before I get into the last post, I wanted to thank all of you for reading and posting comments to the daily euneJeune. I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated all the feedback and support.

For their role, however large or small, they played in making this a rewarding undertaking, I’d like to give a special thanks to the following people: Donika Miller, Marc Schuster, David Frees, John Sellers, Ezgi Bilici, Joe Taylor, John Hay, Kate Jacovino, Jeannie Matamoros, Beth Treisner, Heather Petrovsky, Courtney Papada Daly, Kelly Kampf, Jonathan Chriswell, Bill McLeer, Kristie Attardi, Wynn Sanders, Mike Graveley, Richard O’Connor, Brian McFadden, Kevin Emery, Adam Schwartzberg and Annette Burgess. Your support was huge.

Sorry if you deserved a mention and didn’t get one. Doesn’t mean anything other than I’m forgetful.

Also, a special shout-out goes to Mindninja, or Jen, or whatever the hell your name is, for stalking me for a few months last year. Your unrelenting negativity taught me there’s always going to be someone who flat out disagrees with my perspective. I have no idea who you are, but I have my theories (ex-girlfriend, ex-friend, etc.). Whoever you are, I hope the medication is working.

All right, now to today’s installment.

word

abeyance [uh-bey-uhns] n. 1. temporary inactivity, cessation, or suspension: Let’s hold that problem in abeyance for a while 2. Law. a state or condition of real property in which title is not as yet vested in a known titleholder: an estate in abeyance

birthday

Jean-Baptiste de la Salle (1651), David Thompson (1770), Alice B. Toklas (1877), Percy Heath (1923), Johnny Horton (1925), Cloris Leachman (1926), Willie Nelson (1933), Gary Collins (1938), Burt Young (1940), Jill Clayburgh (1944), Isaiah Thomas (1961), Akon (1973), Johnny Galecki (1975), Kirsten Dunst (1982)

standpoint

It’s finally here. The day I’m closing shop on the euneJeune daily. 14 months ago, I began this to prove to myself I could write something, good or bad, on a daily basis. And, for the most part, I did. I’ll always look back to this blog as something I’m proud of. I’m going to miss it badly.

But life goes on and I need to spend the time I allotted for this and use it for the writing I was meant to. Don’t worry, I won’t be entirely disappearing from the internet. I’ve been invited to be a contributor on Popularity Contest, a blog recently started by my friend Marc Schuster, and I’ll be posting stories on there from time-to-time.

I love Esquire and my favorite section is always “What I’ve Learned.” For my last Standpoint, I’m going to share what I’ve learned about myself, about the internet, about the world, from what I’ve done here.

» Astrology is horseshit. The day of the year someone happens to be born is completely inconsequential. Oskar Schindler and Saddam Hussein share the same birthday. So do Leonardo da Vinci and Seth Rogen, Raphael and Zach Braff, Vincent van Gogh and MC Hammer, James Madison and Erik Estrada. Looking for similarities within those pairings is ridiculous.

» Like most writers, I guess, I have a tendency to concentrate on troublesome people. I’ve focused more on Glenn Beck, Oprah Winfrey and Sarah Palin than I have on Chuck Klosterman, Conan O’Brien and Jack Kerouac. Something I should dwell on for a stretch.

» I have a broader vocabulary than I used to. The other day, I heard someone describe himself as a polemic and I knew exactly what he meant. (He was calling himself a controversialist.)

» The amount of news stories on any given day is staggering. Between the “reputable” sources and the bloggers, it’s fairly easy to find a news story in which the facts are presented just the way you like them. It’s great because no one ever again has to be wrong. Even when they are.

» I challenge you to find any quotations website where Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde and Ralph Waldo Emerson aren’t prominently featured. Go on, I dare you.

» Probably even Zach Rogue thinks I listen to too much Rogue Wave.

» When you write a blog, your greatest friends won’t read it. If you offered my best friend Harvey $1 million to tell you just one thing I wrote about here in the past six months, he’d be forced to forfeit the cash. (I have to say Joe Taylor is an exception to this rule. Or I’d never hear the end of it.)

» If you’re doing anything online that’s in need of promotion and you fail to see the merits of Facebook an Twitter, you need to reconsider. The days where I shared or tweeted my latest post, my traffic was over three times higher than those days I didn’t. The stuff works.

» One thing anyone who writes needs to remember is that there are those out there who internalize everything they read. Because of that, you’ll receive negative and hurtful attacks. Never let the vitriol people spew stop you from expressing yourself. Fuck those people. Wake up tomorrow and keep going.

I’ve learned all that and more. I hope you learned some things, as well.

quotation

Don’t be dismayed by goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. Richard Bach

tune

For my last post I thought this Elliott Smith song was rather appropriate. Enjoy “A Fond Farewell.”

gallimaufry

→ If you’re not yet reading Hyperbole and a Half, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for. One of the greatest blogs I’ve read.

→ Man, US Senators sure do fancy themselves some meddling. Hey, elected officials, I’ve got to believe there some other problem you can be trying to solve. We’d be in a pretty sweet spot right now if Facebook privacy issues was the country’s highest priority.

This is the closest thing I’ve seen resembling honest journalism in a long, long time.

04.12.10 – A Monday

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word

sardonic [sahr-don-ik] adj. 1. characterized by bitter or scornful derision; mocking; cynical; sneering: a sardonic grin

birthday

Henry Clay (1777), Johnny Dodds (1892), Beverly Cleary (1916), Billy Vaughn (1919), Tiny Tim (1932), Herbie Hancock (1940), John Kay (1944), Ed O’Neill (1946), Tom Clancy (1947), David Letterman (1947), David Cassidy (1950), Jon Krakauer (1954), Andy Garcia (1956), Vince Gill (1957), Art Alexakis (1962), Shannen Doherty (1971), Claire Danes (1979)

standpoint

Man, when Obama was elected, our country was supposed to resemble something like this.

Instead, this is the kind of nonsense going on.

Bottom line is there’s hardly anyone left in this country who wants our government to do anything but make our individual lives better. Let’s stop waving this ridiculous notion of patriotism around. It’s just a forsaken ideal to hide behind while pushing a hollow agenda.

How vocal do you think these “patriots” would be if John McCain had won the election instead? Very few, I’d wager.

quotation

The future is called “perhaps,” which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you. Tennessee Williams

tune

All right, I’m beating the dead horse here. I’m fully aware. But I’m hooked on the Local Natives album Gorilla Manor like Pookie was hooked on crack rock in New Jack City. (I love that photo.) My favorite song from the album seems to be changing daily. Here’s today’s – “Camera Talk.”

gallimaufry

→ Despite playing like The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight for the past six weeks, the Philadelphia Flyers have eked their way in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Starting Wednesday evening, the Orange and Black will face the New Jersey Devils in a best-of-seven games series. My prediction? Devils in four.

→ I love it when I read about people like Mike Gallagher. On April 5th, he set out, on foot, from Philadelphia to embark on a cross country journey to San Francisco. He’s not doing it for charity, instead he’s attempting to gain a little perspective. I think it’s a great thing and I wish him all the best. Make sure to check TheWalk 2010 frequently to see what he’s up to. For easy access, I’ve added his site to my bloglist on this very page.

→ As much as the last story inspired me, this next one reminded me once again that the world is full of awful people. This woman should go to jail. In Russia.

03.17.10 – A Wednesday

word

gumption [guhmp-shuhn] n. 1. initiative; aggressiveness; resourcefulness: With his gumption he’ll make a success of himself 2. courage; spunk; guts: It takes gumption to quit a high-paying job 3. common sense; shrewdness

birthday

Lawrence Oates (1888), Bobby Jones (1902), Ray Ellington (1916), Nat King Cole (1919), James Irwin (1930), John Wayne Gacy (1942), James Morrow (1947), Patrick Duffy (1949), Kurt Russell (1951), Gary Sinise (1955), Vicki Lewis (1960), Casey Siemaszko (1961), Rob Lowe (1964), Billy Corgan (1967), Alexander McQueen (1969), Mia Hamm (1972), Mason Jennings (1975)

standpoint

Today is St. Patrick’s Day and most of you, irregardless of whether you have actual Irish roots or not, will go out and get drunk. And I support you in your endeavor. However, being both a bartender and an avid drinker, I’d like to offer the tips designed to assist you in having a fun, but also safe, night out.

Don’t drive. Even if you’re not drinking. There are going to be more idiots out on the road than a tea party protest led by Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and Carrot Top letting out. Leave your car at home.

Pick the right spot. Any bar with “Paddy” or “O’Anything” or “McAnything” or anything named similarly Irish is going to be packed to roof with drunk knuckleheads. Select a spot that’ll have a bit of a crowd but one where you’ll still be able to get a drink.

Drink within your safety zone. There will be lots of temptation to consume Irish-themed libations you normally wouldn’t. Green beer. Jameson. Guinness. Don’t get crazy. Drink what you’re used to and you’ll avoid a massive hangover and/or vomiting until the sun rises. Unless you’ve planned appropriately with your place of work, it’s still a school night.

Steer clear of the fisticuffs. The second best way to get arrested on a night like tonight is getting drunk and engaging in a brouhaha. Lots of people in one place means lots of bumping into one another. Don’t sweat it. Just enjoy the evening. And if some drunkard gets in your face, buy him a shot and wish him a happy night. Best money you’ll ever spend. Plus, women, at least the non-skanky kind, frown upon guys who like to fight.

Bottom line, treat St. Patrick’s Day like any other in which you’re planning to get loose and have some fun. Use your head. Keep your wits about you.

quotation

He was a terror to any snake that came in his path, whether it was the cold, slimy reptile sliding along the ground or the more dangerous snake that oppresses men through false teachings.  And he drove the snakes out of the minds of men, snakes of superstition and brutality and cruelty.Arthur Brisbane

tune

It would be completely messed up of me if I didn’t share an Irish tune with you all today. Here’s “If I Should Fall From Grace With God” by The Pogues.

gallimaufry

This section is closed today. Come back tomorrow for some more.

02.10.10 – A Wednesday

word

lambaste [lam-beyst, –bast] v. 1. to beat or whip severely 2. to reprimand or berate harshly; censure; excoriate

birthday

Charles Lamb (1775), Jimmy Durante (1893), Robert Wagner (1930), Roberta Flack (1937), Mark Spitz (1950), Jim Cramer (1955), Greg Norman (1955), George Stephanopoulos (1961), Glenn Beck (1964), Laura Dern (1967), Elizabeth Banks (1974)

standpoint

I’d love to say I had something amazingly clever and witty to write today, but I didn’t. And it wouldn’t have mattered since the ride from Skippack to Conshohocken last night took about an hour and a half. Plus, after lauding FiOS just yesterday, we awoke yesterday morning to find our router had lasted less than 24 hours. Guess it wasn’t ready for two people who spend as much time on the internet as we do.

But, hopefully, I’ll be back tomorrow with some more. Thanks for reading.

quotation

Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can’t see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.Dave Barry

tune

Admittedly, I know next to nothing about Florida’s indie rock group, Surfer Blood. But I like what I hear of them so far. Someone wrote they sound like Weezer before they sucked. Or something like that. Try “Swim.”

gallimaufry

This section closed today due to snow.