December 5th, 2011

Before I get started today, I wanted to take some time to thank everyone who came out to The Field House last Wednesday night for the happy hour in support of the Harvey Forsyth Memorial Fund. It was an amazing turnout and it was great to reacquaint with so many old friends (you who you are) who I hadn’t seen in years and years. For those of you who weren’t able to make it, don’t fret, there will be plenty more opportunities as the event wasn’t a one-shot deal.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone for all of the fantastic comments, through Facebook and text messages and emails and in person, about my post about Harv last Wednesday. It was a truly humbling experience. I really appreciate it.

word

bobbery [bobuh-ree] n. a disturbance; brawl

birthday

Martin Van Buren (1782), Walt Disney (1901), Strom Thurmond (1902), Dr. Dre (1963), Margaret Cho (1968)

standpoint

I usually steer clear of pontificating about the NFL on here for two reasons: (1) I don’t generally give a shit about the NFL and (2) No one seems to really give a shit about my opinion when it comes to the NFL.

But today I’m gonna do it anyway because I’ve become increasingly interested in the unlikely rise of Denver Broncos’ quarterback Tim Tebow, the guy who was supposed to suck as a quarterback in the NFL, despite being a Heisman Trophy winner and winning a national championship at the collegiate level.

For those of you who might’ve been recently rescued after becoming stranded in a mountainous region when your plane went down and are just now just catching up on everything you’ve missed in the past couple of months, here’s a quick recap on Tim Tebow’s so far:

1. Although Denver fans are clamoring for him to be the starter, Tim Tebow begins the NFL season as the number 3 quarterback on the Broncos’ depth chart.

2. The Broncos get off to a 1-4 start, prompting head coach John Fox to succumb to the pressure. He tags Tebow as his new starting quarterback.

3. Instead of floundering, as most experts predict he will, Tebow goes 6-1 as a starter and puts the Broncos in the improbable position of playoff hopefuls.

All right, so that’s what’s happened so far in a nutshell.

And it’s not the most important thing going on in the world but it is pretty interesting simply because everyone in the know when it comes to the NFL seems to be gleefully anticipating the day when Tebow falls flat on his face. And that’s most likely because they’re befuddled by how the dude just keeps winning games, week after week.

Predictability is the most appealing facet of the NFL. Sure, upsets occasionally happen but, for the most part, the outcome is sort of predetermined. That’s why NFL commentators have the best job in the world. They spend all week telling fans what team is going to win and what team is going to lose and the reasons why. And when they’re right, they proclaim their genius in an I-told-you-so tone. And when they’re wrong, they cite it as the very reason they love the game, praising the parity of the league, “any given Sunday” and all of that.

But Tebow confuses them. For all intents and purposes, he’s not supposed to be successful as an NFL quarterback. He’s not a gifted passer in a game that’s mostly all passing. He’s not a conventional player, a wildcard. He’s overly religious and too nice a guy. He’s not supported by his coach or the most important guy in Denver, John Elway.

In essence, Tebow’s been told, “Listen, buddy, we’ve explored all of the options and, really, if there was any other choice we’d be going with that but there’s none forthcoming so just get in there and try not to make us the laughing stock of the league.”

And Tebow probably doesn’t curse but if he did, he’s mostly likely saying something like, “Hey, fuckers, how do you like me now?”

quotation

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game. ↔ Paul Rodriguez

tune

Yet another unearthed song from my broken down, antique iPod that only works when it I plug into my laptop. Here’s “Teenagers Talking” by Sunny Day Sets Fire.

gallimaufry

→ If you’re ever in Philadelphia and you’re wondering to yourself what restaurant serves the best burger, follow these intructions: (1) Get your ass to 19th and Lombard where you’ll find The Pub and Kitchen. (2) Enter the building. (3) Order the Churchill Burger. (4) After it’s placed in front of you, eat the Churchill Burger. (5) Spend the next week telling everyone about it. (Like I’ve been doing.)

Don’t ask these people where they’re effin from. It’s kind of a sore subject.

Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign due to his murky grasp on fidelity and how it pertains to marriage. Yeah, the douchebag had a pretty slim shot at the presidency but I’m gonna miss his chutzpah.

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01.19.10 – A Tuesday

WORD

burlesque [ber-lesk] n. 1. an artistic composition, esp. literary or dramatic, that, for the sake of laughter, vulgarizes lofty material or treats ordinary material with mock dignity 2. any ludicrous parody or grotesque caricature 3. Also, bur⋅lesk. a humorous and provocative stage show featuring slapstick humor, comic skits, bawdy songs, striptease acts, and a scantily clad female chorus adj. 4. involving ludicrous or mocking treatment of a solemn subject 5. of, pertaining to, or like stage-show burlesque v. (used w/object) 6. to make ridiculous by mocking representation v. (used w/o object) 7. to use caricature

BIRTHDAY

James Watt (1736), Robert E. Lee (1807), Edgar Allen Poe (1809), Paul Cézanne (1839), Minnesota Fats (1913), Jean Stapleton (1923), Tippi Hedren (1930), Michael Crawford (1942), Janis Joplin (1943), Shelley Fabares (1944), Dolly Parton (1946), Robert Palmer (1949), Desi Arnaz, Jr. (1953), Katey Sagal (1954), Paul Rodriguez (1955), William Ragsdale (1961), Drea de Matteo (1972), Frank Caliendo (1974)

STANDPOINT

As you must all ready know, last Wednesday a major earthquake devastated Haiti. And everyone, and I mean everyone, is doing what they can to help out. Of course, the American Red Cross and the U.N. are spearheading the efforts, but I’m impressed by what some less likely sources are contributing.

Ben Stiller, who’d already been helping the children of Haiti through his website, STILLERSTRONG.ORG, has, as of yesterday, raised over $130,000.

→ NBA stars Alonzo Mourning and Dwayne Wade have created The Athletes Relief Fund for Haiti and have all ready contributed $800,000.

Lady Gaga, having all ready promised to donate all the proceeds from her upcoming show at Radio Music City Hall to the effort, announced yesterday she’d created a Haitian relief t-shirt, the sales from which will also go to the effort.

Fucked Up, a hardcore punk band from Toronto, is even getting into the act, is auctioning off its upcoming collection of singles, Couple Tracks, with, you guessed it, all proceeds going to Doctors Without Borders.

That’s just a short list of what some people are doing to help.

What are you doing?

QUOTATION

I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s one all-powerful force controlling everything. There’s no mystical energy field controls my destiny.Han Solo

TUNE

I continue my unabashed love for Fountains of Wayne, a band dismissed by most indie hipsters as “too poppy.” Well, that may be true but I just can’t help myself from digging on songs like “Radiation Vibe.”

GALLIMAUFRY

Hey, all you people who piss on Twitter, get this: it can actually be used for some kind of good. When a plane full of medicine from Doctors Without Borders was blocked from landing in Haiti on Sunday, Twitter users flooded the U.S. Air Force’s Twitter account and the plane was allowed to land shortly thereafter. Pretty cool, huh?

→ In what promises to be a couple of months full of great new music, another one of my favorite bands has announced an upcoming release. Matt Pond PA will release The Dark Leaves on April 6th.

→ Who says Taco Bell is bad for you? The company’s founder, Glen Bell, died Sunday at the ripe old age of 86. So there.