February 10th, 2012

word

hiemal [hahyuh-muhl] adj. of or pertaining to winter; wintry

birthday

Jimmy Durante (1893), Robert Wagner (1930), Roberta Flack (1937), Mark Spitz (1950), Glenn Beck (1964), Laura Dern (1967), Elizabeth Banks (1974)

standpoint

First, let me just say that Wednesday’s post was one of my most popular ever and that I appreciated all of the back-and-forth on Facebook. I was tossing around the idea of posting the comment strain here but decided not to as I’m unsure of the legality of re-publishing comments made on there.

Anyway, switching gears, here’s a portion of a conversation between two women I overheard the other night:

Woman #1: Did you read Gone With the Wind yet?

Woman#2: No, but I’m gonna get around to it.

Woman #1: Book group is in two days, the book is like 500 pages, you’re not gonna be able to read it. (eJ – Actually the book is over 1,ooo pages.)

Woman #2: Who cares? I’ll just get shitfaced so no one asks me any questions.

Nearby Guy: Actually, you could just watch the movie version.

Woman #1: They made a movie out of that book?

Nearby Guy: Yeah, it’s pretty famous, probably more famous than the book.

Woman #2: Right. See there? I’ll just watch the movie. Do you think it’s on Netflix?

Woman #1: I’m not sure but they got every movie on Netflix, so probably. But Netflix won’t get it to you on time. Book group is on Thursday.

Woman #2: Well, just tell me the gist, so I can act like I read it.

Woman #1: It all takes place during the Civil War.

Woman #2: Oh, it’s a war story. I hate those.

Woman #1: Nah, nah, it’s not like a shoot-em-up kind of story. It’s mostly a love story between this guy named Brett (Rhett) and this woman named Scarlett. And, if you ask me, Scarlett is the biggest moron that ever lived.

Woman #2: Is it a true story?

Woman #1: I don’t think so but maybe. Why?

Woman #2: You said “the biggest moron that ever lived.” Was she a real person?

Woman #1: No, I mean, she might have actually lived but I don’t know. My point is that she was a total fucking moron.

Woman #2: Okay, why?

Woman #1: I don’t know she just was. I’m not getting into with you because you didn’t read the goddamn book. So I started to get curious about the Civil War and look up some stuff. And I learned more through Google than I did actually reading the book.

Woman #2:  You know you can’t trust all the stuff you find on Google.

Woman #1: You think I don’t know that? But I did learn some shit.

Woman #2: Okay, what did you learn? Anything good?

Woman #1: Oh yeah. Tons. Like did you know that Negroes got the right to vote before women did?

Woman #2: No shit. Wait, are you sure? Negroes? Like how long before?

Woman #1: I don’t really remember but it was a while. A couple of years, I think. I couldn’t believe it, either. I would’ve bet anything women were allowed to vote before Negroes.

Woman #2: You can’t be right about that. Women weren’t first? It was Negroes?

At that point, I had to just walk away.

People are pretty outstanding.

quotation

A world where medical advances allow us to live forever is a terrifying thought. Imagine the crowd. ↔ Salman Rushdie

tune

If you’re cool like me, you’ll be at The Electric Factory in Philadelphia on Saturday, March 24th (hit that link right there to go and get tickets) to see Dr. Dog. I’m betting they’re going to play “That Old Black Hole” somewhere toward the end of their set because, wow, what a great song.

gallimaufry

→ Speaking of same-sex marriage, here’s Governor Christine Gregoire of Washington State doing the right thing.

Michael Vick‘s been attempting to show the world he’s a rehabilitated citizen, but it seems no one but Philadelphia Eagles fans are buying it. The guy just made the top of Forbes‘ list of America’s Most Disliked Athletes.

This isn’t true but it could be.

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February 8th, 2012

word

caprice [kuhprees] n. 1. a sudden, unpredictable change, as of one’s mind or the weather 2. a tendency to change one’s mind without apparent or adequate motive; whimsicality; capriciousness: With the caprice of a despotic king, he alternated between kindness and cruelty.

birthday

Jules Verne (1828), Kate Chopin (1850), Jack Lemmon (1925), Neal Cassady (1926), James Dean (1931), Ted Koppel (1940), Nick Nolte (1941), Robert Klein (1942), Creed Bratton (1943), Mary Steenburgen (1953), John Grisham (1955), Vince Neil (1961), Gary Coleman (1968), Seth Green (1974)

standpoint

Proposition 8. It sort of makes my blood boil. If you don’t know what “Prop 8” is  you can click here to find out.

Yesterday, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals declared “Prop 8” was unconstitutional, saying that, “Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples.”

Finally, people in authority are judging this issue in terms of what is right and what is actually wrong.

But the fight’s not nearly over.

Surprisingly, presidential hopeful (yeah, right) Newt Gingrich disagreed: “With today’s decision on marriage by the Ninth Circuit, and the likely appeal to the Supreme Court, more and more Americans are being exposed to the radical overreach of federal judges and their continued assault on the Judeo-Christian foundations of the United States.” 

In addition, the (maybe) GOP front runner, Mitt Romney, had this to say, “I believe marriage is between a man and a woman and, as president, I will protect traditional marriage and appoint judges who interpret the Constitution as it is written and not according to their own politics and prejudices.”

Also, Rick Santorum, the first-class asshole who last night won both the Colorado and Minnesota caucuses as well as the Missouri primary, offered his opinion, “Marriage is defined and has always been defined as ‘one man and one woman.’ We simply cannot allow 50 different definitions of marriage.

(Before I continue with my point about Proposition 8, I’m stating right here and now, I will leave my friends and family behind, and flee this fucking country if Rick Santorum is elected president. This is not a hollow threat.)

In any case, the addlepated triumvirate that’s left of the GOP hopefuls finally agreed on one thing that doesn’t have anything to do with President Obama being a socialist or a communist: they all feel homosexuals don’t have the same rights as the rest of us when it comes to the pursuit of happiness.

I’m apologizing ahead of time to those of my readers who are Christian. For the record, I am not Christian or even religious. Even though I spent the majority of my education in Catholic institutions, I emerged from them with the belief that religion, for me, exhibited the same usefulness as an 8-track player. That’s not to say I disregard religion or people who have faith. Some of the greatest people I know believe in a higher power. And I respect that. All I ask is that they do the same in regards to my non-belief in one.

But when it comes to condemnation of homosexuality, I will go against anyone, especially nitwits like Gingrich, Romney and Santorum.

As for Gingrich, these “Judeo-Christian foundations of the United States,” are proof of exactly nothing. It’s Newt appealing to the religious for votes even though we’re supposed to have a separation between church and state. And I don’t want to read any response that separation of church and state only applies to certain issues because that’s bullshit. It’s all or nothing. You don’t get to choose the application when it suits you.

Romney said what he said yesterday but in 1994 he said this: “If we are to achieve the goals we share, we must make equality for gays and lesbians a mainstream concern.”  What a super fucking guy.

And Santorum. I can honestly say that when I went to find statements he’s made to elucidate my point here, I almost became physically ill reading about how this motherfucker hides behind religion and family values to push an agenda of hate-mongering that would make the staff of Fox News reconsider what they’re doing with their lives.

Bottom line is this: If you feel that homosexuals aren’t entitled to simple rights like being able to spend their lives together, own homes and adopt children, then I challenge you right here and now to explain to me why. I’ll read what you have to say and promise I’ll respond fairly.

quotation

I love to read. It keeps the noise of the world at bay. ↔ Art Garfunkel

tune

Guster. Yeah, I know they’re not cool. I was once at a festival listening to them and one of the hipper acts that went before Guster came into the crowd, stood next to me and loudly asked, “What the fuck is this? Hippie frat rock?” And even though Guster was one of the bands I was there to see, I had to laugh. It was an accurate assessment. But who gives a shit? Guster’s made some of my favorite songs. And here’s one of them: “Happier.” Oh, and that dude who made the comment, and although I dig lots of his tunes, the last time I checked he’s been struggling to find his way out of the Philadelphia music scene for quite some time.

gallimaufry

→ One of the greatest things about Sunday’s Super Bowl was Clint Eastwood’s “It’s Halftime In America” spot. Pundits on both sides of the aisle were confounded and I’m sure that’s just what he wanted. We’re probably the only society in the world who have a few celebrities who are beyond reproach and not to be trifled with. And it’s refreshing when one of them uses their standing to make a point, even if most of us missed it entirely.

→ Everyone’s talking about Rob Gronkowski, tight end for the New England Patriots, and his well-documented partying after his team’s loss. Leave the dude alone. He ‘s a young guy who needed to blow off some steam.

Who would so something like this?

06.05.09 – Friday

Word: ersatz [er-zahts, -sahts, er-zahts, –sahts] adj. 1. serving as a substitute; synthetic; artificial: an ersatz coffee made from grain n. 2. an artificial substance or article used to replace something natural or genuine; a substitute

Birthday: Thomas Chippendale (1708), Pat Garrett (1850), Pancho Villa (1878), John Maynard Keynes (1883), Salvatore Ferragamo (1898), Richard Scarry (1919), Spalding Gray (1941), Ken Follett (1949), Suze Orman (1951), Richard Butler (1956), Kenny G (1956), Jeff Garlin (1962), Ron Livingston (1967), Brian McKnight (1969), Mark Wahlberg (1971), Chuck Klosterman (1972), Pete Wentz (1979)

Quotation: I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat.  I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!Dr. Seuss

Tune: Ever watch the great old comedy sketch show The Kids In The Hall and wonder who did the theme song? The band is Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet and the song is called “Having an Average Weekend.”

Gallimaufry: With President Obama in the White House and most everyone pissed at California over Proposition 8, it’s easy to look at our country and decide it’s moving in the right direction. Enter Ken Pagano, pastor of New Bethel Church in Louisville, Kentucky. This June 27th, Pagano is inviting his congregation to attend services with their firearms, “to celebrate the Fourth of July and the Second Amendment.” Says the ex-Marine-and-one-time-handgun-instructor-turned-pastor, “We’re just going to celebrate the upcoming theme of the birth of our nation. And we’re not ashamed to say that there was a strong belief in God and firearms — without that this country wouldn’t be here.” No loaded guns will be allowed in the church. In addition to bringing firearms, Pagano is asking attendees to bring a canned good and a friend. I mean, it’s only Kentucky, but still. It’s 2009, jackass. For the record, Sonia Sotomayor’s “Wise Latina” comment is no different than Sarah Palin’s comparing hockey moms to pitbulls. But no one, including the idiots over at FOX News, are going to make the connection. The Supreme Court nominee was referring to a group of women who make up a large portion of the nation’s population, while Palin was talking about a group of women in Alaska who don’t represent enough people to fill up The Rose Bowl. (That may or may not be true.) Both women were making their comments in jest. In the grand scheme of things, I’m guessing Alaskan hockey moms are considered a bit more innocuous than Latina women. Just a hunch. Sitting out in the sun for extended periods of time, getting high and drunk with your closest friends and listening to dozens of popular bands is every American’s right. At least it should be. The warm weather invading us right now means only one thing – it’s Summer Concert Festival Season. Check out Pitchfork’s comprehensive guide to this year’s opportunities to pass out on a stranger’s blanket by mid-afternoon.

Incoming: I know I promised some thoughts about Arthur Kade (I’ve grilled my considerable group of contacts for this one and unearthed some great stuff.) and movie remakes, as well as 3 Things To Do In Philly When You’re Dead, but as they say, life got in the way. I’ll be working on all those for the beginning of next week. Also, for everyone attending this weekend’s TD Bank Philadelphia International Cycling Championship (What happened to simply calling it “The Bike Race?”), make sure to stay hydrated and have some fun. I’m not quite sure if I’ll be making my annual appearance as of yet, but if I do, I’ll make sure to say hello.

03.20.09 – Friday

Whereabouts: Philadelphia, PA

Word: halcyon [hal-see-uhn] adj. 1. calm; peaceful; tranquil  2. rich; wealthy; prosperous  3. happy; joyful; carefree

Birthday: Napoleon II (1811), Henrik Ibsen (1828), Ozzie Nelson (1906), Jack Barry (1918), Carl Reiner (1922), Fred Rogers (1928), Hal Linden (1931), Lee “Scratch” Perry (1936), Jerry Reed (1937), Paul Junger Witt (1943), Pat Riley (1945), Bobby Orr (1948), William Hurt (1950), Jimmie Vaughn (1951), Spike Lee (1957), Holly Hunter (1958), Sting (1959), A.J. Jacobs (1968), Michael Rappaport (1970)

Occurrence: 1985Libby Riddles becomes the first female ever to win the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race. Women everywhere rejoice. Dogs everywhere still pissed.

Standpoint: Why? That’s the only question I have for Joaquin Phoenix. Furthermore, that’s probably the question the dude should’ve asked himself before deciding to retire from acting to become the next Matisyahu, with brother-in-law Casey Affleck in tow to film the whole debacle. Has Phoenix never heard of Keanu Reeves? Jared Leto? Juliette Lewis? Don Johnson? They’re all actors who tried their hands in the music biz and came up with less-than-spectacular results. (Oddly enough, the same doesn’t hold true for musicians who make the leap into acting. See Will Smith, Jon Bon Jovi, Queen Latifah, Justin Timberlake.) Hopefully, the talented actor regains his senses and comes back from his trip to Jupiter. Odds are he will. After the novelty of his act wears off, people will stop buying tickets and Phoenix will undoubtedly have to return to acting. Just a matter of time.

Quotation: I don’t think that there are any limits to how excellent we could make life seem.Jonathan Safran Foer

Stupefaction: In Florida, scientists are firing rockets at lightning. Seriously. I hate to ruin the ending for you but the lightning won, remaining the undefeated champ of shit you don’t wanna screw around with.

Tune: Be honest. If you went to high school or college in the 90s, there was at least one time you drove around with the windows down listening to “I’m Free” by The Soup Dragons.

Link: FutureMe – Send an email to your future self.

Weekend (Fridays only): Do you long to hear 80s music sung by an all-male chorus? I thought so. Check out “That 80s Show” performed by the Philadelphia Gay Men’s Chorus at Prince’s Music Theater tonight and tomorrow night…For all of you with little ones, The Berenstain Bears’ Family Matters starts this weekend at the Walnut Street Theatre For Kids and runs through April 4th…Also on Saturday, why not check out one of the few remaining home games of The Philadelphia Phantoms as they take on the Binghamton Rangers at the Wachovia Spectrum – 7:05pm…Amazingly, tickets are still available for Morrisey’s show at The Academy of Music this Sunday (3/22) starting 8:00pm.

Gallimaufry: This week, California took time out of its busy schedule fighting gay marriage (see Prop 8) to debate whether legalizing marijuana would properly stimulate its flailing economy. Now there’s a debate worthy of everyone’s time and energy…March Madness is officially upon us and I still don’t care…I haven’t completely wrapped my head around it (who has?) but this bailout process reminds me of a video I once saw where a log sunk into quicksand…Want to feel better about yourself by listening to an audio clip of someone sounding like a jackass? Check out Lou Dobbs’ rant about St. Patrick’s Day…Following up on yesterday’s post, here is a link to the entire interview Jon Stewart conducted with Jim Cramer on The Daily Show…That’s it for me this week. Come back Monday for some more.