03.05.10 – A Friday

word

cache [kash] n. 1. a hiding place, esp. one in the ground, for ammunition, food, treasures, etc.: She hid her jewelry in a little cache in the cellar 2. anything so hidden: The enemy never found our cache of food 3. Alaska and Northern Canada. a small shed elevated on poles above the reach of animals and used for storing food, equipment, etc

birthday

Howard Pyle (1853), Rex Harrison (1908), Dean Stockwell (1936), Paul Evans (1938), Fred Williamson (1938), Marsha Warfield (1954), Penn Jilette (1955), Teena Marie (1956), Andy Gibb (1958), Charles and Craig Reid (1962), Joel Osteen (1963), Michael Irvin (1966), MC Solaar (1969), John Frusciante (1970), Kevin Connolly (1974), Eva Mendes (1974), Niki Taylor (1975)

standpoint

Time for a very special Friday edition of The Wishing Well, the weekly installment where I wish for things that’ll most likely never happen. Let’s begin.

→ I WISH Hollywood wasn’t completely dragging its heels. I mean, what is all this Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus crap all about. You what, though? People are going to go see this gigantic piece of garbage. That’s sadder than any movie.

→ I WISH the human race had developed more styles of driving. As far as I can tell, we have two. The first one is a balls-out aggressive approach that seems to put a concern for human life lower on the list of what’s important than, say, getting to a tennis lesson on time. The second one is a cautious defensive approach that seems to get some thinking going 35 mph on a major fucking highway is somehow safe.

→ I WISH I could piss all over how everyone in Philadelphia is so damn excited about the Philadelphia Phillies’ upcoming season. But I can’t. Truth be told, I’m sort of excited myself.

→ I WISH I could tell you truthfully that my third attempt at reading David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest was a glowing success. But that’s be a lie, people. That book is just too freaking long and dense. Sorry, Mr. Wallace, maybe the fourth time will be a charm?

→ I WISH someone out there could tell me what the entertainment draw might have been in watching the NFL Scouting Combine. A bunch of dudes I’ve never heard of running sprints on some field somewhere isn’t exactly my idea of riveting television. But, hey, what do I know?

That’s it for me this week. How about you? What are you wishing for right about now?

quotation

Small miseries, like small debts, hit us in so many places, and meet us at so many turns and corners, that what they want in weight, they make up in number, and render it less hazardous to stand the fire of one cannon ball, than a volley composed of such a shower of bullets. ↔ Rudyard Kipling

tune

So far, Permalight, the new album by Rogue Wave, has not disappointed me. I’m really liking it a great deal. The opening track is downright decent. Check out “Solitary Gun.”

gallimaufry

→ This has happened to me many many times. I’m sure you’ve gone through something just like it. Unless you were one of those people who always insists on sleeping in a bed. If you are one of those annoying individuals, maybe the article isn’t for you.

→ I liked it when people called each other “ock.” It sucks that didn’t stick. Just sounded kind of cool.

→ I know I dropped the ball with the Standpoint section this week, people. Lots going on and I just kind of wasn’t in the mood. That’ll change next week. Come back Monday for some more.

12.30.09 – A Wednesday

WORD

onerous [on-er-uhs, oh-ner-] adj. 1. burdensome, oppressive, or troublesome; causing hardship: onerous duties 2. having or involving obligations or responsibilities, esp. legal ones, that outweigh the advantages: an onerous agreement

BIRTHDAY

Titus (39), Rudyard Kipling (1865), Bo Diddley (1928), Del Shannon (1934), James Burrows (1940), Michael Nesmith (1942), Fred Ward (1942), Davy Jones (1945), Patti Smith (1946), Jeff Lynne (1947), Meredith Vieira (1953), Suzy Bogguss (1956), Matt Lauer (1957), Tracey Ullman (1959), Heidi Fleiss (1965), Tiger Woods (1975), Tyrese (1978), Eliza Dushku (1980), LeBron James (1984)

STANDPOINT

Well, tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and that means 2009 (thankfully) will be going away forever and 2010 will be ushered in with lots and lots of wishful thinking.

I know I, for one, will be happy to see 2009 end.

Every year, around this time, I can’t help but look back on what was going on 365 days previous and if I’m where I thought I’d be. (Fortunately, I’m not.) I’m relatively certain that’s what most everyone else does, too. Makes me wonder about how some of this year’s newsmakers thought this year would turn out…

Richard Poplawski was probably cleaning one of his many guns, unaware a mere four months later, he’d become one of the most despicable assholes ever by killing three police officers responding to a call from his mother.

Tiger Woods was most likely spending time with his family, sporadically scurrying to the bathroom to text message one of several women he was seeing on the side, unable to comprehend a year that saw him go from arguably the world’s most popular athlete to its biggest punchline.

Billy Mays, Brittany Murphy, Michael Jackson, Natasha Richardson, Patrick Swayze and Steve McNair were all as likely as not unknowingly ushering in their last change of the calendar year.

Barack Obama was, in all probability, conjuring the first year of his Presidency, one without all the fucking smoke-and-mirror nonsense perpetrated by his political rivals.

George W. Bush was definitely daydreaming about spending some quality time, sitting on the edge of his bed and staring at a blank wall.

Brett Favre was apparently relatively close to finally retiring, after three years of indecision. And that’s exactly what he did. Shortly after, he signed with the Minnesota Vikings.

Michael Vick was languishing in the midst of an 18-month stint in prison for slaughtering defenseless dogs, no doubt curious of where the end of 2009 would find him. Several months later, he’d find himself as the least productive member of the Philadelphia Eagles. Don’t worry, though, the initial outrage demonstrated by animal rights advocates was short-lived due to this country’s unnatural obsession with the NFL.

Yes, indeed, 2009 was kind of a screwy fuck of a year. Let’s hope we can get our act together for 2010.

QUOTATION

New Year’s eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. → Hamilton Wright Mabie

TUNE

I’ve always loved “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap. I just do. That’s it.

GALLIMAUFRY

→ Tomorrow night will be special, not only because it’ll be New Year’s Eve, but because it’ll feature a blue moon. And that’s not quite what you think it is.

→ Christ. David Goldman, who recently won a nine-year legal battle to get his son back, was flown home by NBC and some journalists’ group is upset for what their calling “checkbook journalism.” Mainly, I think they’re all pissed because NBC beat them to the punch. People will bitch about just about anything.

→ Van Morrison, 64, has proven it’s never too late to become a daddy. Again.

That’s it for me this year. I hope everyone has a fantastic New Year’s Eve. Be safe. Don’t be an idiot.

All of next week, starting Monday, I’ll be concentrating on more of looking back on 2009. Come back then for some more. And thanks for reading.

Tuesday – 07.14.09

Word: impetus [im-pi-tuhs] n. 1. a moving force; impulse; stimulus: The grant for building the opera house gave impetus to the city’s cultural life 2. (broadly) the momentum of a moving body, esp. with reference to the cause of motion

Birthday: Jules Mazarin (1602), Gertrude Bell (1868), A. B. “Happy” Chandler (1898), Irving Stone (1903), Tom Carvel (1906), William Hanna (1910), Woody Guthrie (1912), Gerald Ford (1913), Ingmar Bergman (1918), Arthur Laurents (1918), Harry Dean Stanton (1926), Roosevelt “Rosey” Grier (1932), Jerry Rubin (1938), Sid Haig (1939), Vincent Pastore (1946), Joel Silver (1952), Angelique Kidjo (1960), Tanya Donelly (1966), Matthew Fox (1966), Nina Siemaszko (1970), Taboo (1975)

Quotation: Small miseries, like small debts, hit us in so many places, and meet us at so many turns and corners, that what they want in weight, they make up in number, and render it less hazardous to stand the fire of one cannon ball, than a volley composed of such a shower of bullets. ◊ Rudyard Kipling

Tune: You’ve just got to love a band that cultivated a following for itself by throwing (and headlining) large, illegal, outdoor parties. A good marketing strategy, to say the least. By the time the cops got wise and finally shut down the guys in Mystery Jets (and their Eel Pie Island get-togethers), the band had already made enough of a name for itself to get signed by 679 Recordings, a London-based record company. One critic (Sam Wolfson of Observer Music Monthly) wrote, “Mystery Jets thrive in the gap between naivety and cynicism.” Um. I’m not sure Wolfson meant it as a compliment but I think it is. Listen to “Diamonds in the Dark.”

Gallimaufry: Ever stub your toe or grab a burning hot pan? It hurts, right? Now, how many times, after experiencing the unexpected pain that followed, did you curse the object that inadvertantly caused it? Be honest. Well, you needn’t feel bad about it anymore. Researchers at Keele University in England have found angrily swearing as a result of, say, stepping barefoot on something sharp in the dark, triggers your “fight-or-flight” response. Basically, they’re saying, by cursing up a storm, you’re raising your levels of aggression and, truly, lessening the painful sensation on the bottom of your foot. ∞ Seattle’s Modest Mouse has an affinity for outstanding album titles. This Is a Long Drive for Somebody with Nothing to Think About. Good News for People Who Love Bad News. We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. The title of its upcoming EP is no exception – No One’s First and You’re Next. Spin.com has an exclusive on the first track named “Perpetual Motion Machine.” As is always the case with me, I need a few more listens to make sound judgement, but it’s a solid tune, for sure. ∞ For myriad reasons, I possess exactly no love for Oprah Winfrey. I know she does a lot of good, but that good is accompanied by – what I feel is – an intollerably high amount of smugness. It’s for that reason, I enjoyed reading “Top 12 Oprah Mistakes, Lies and Embarrassments.” Yes. I know she’s only human. But still. Live your best life, indeed.