03.03.11 – a thursday

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colloquialism [kuhloh-kwee-uh-liz-uhm] n. 1. a word or phrase appropriate to conversation and other informal situations 2. the use of colloquial words or phrases


Alexander Graham Bell (1847), Beatrice Wood (1893), Jean Harlow (1911), James Doohan (1920), Doc Watson (1923), Perry Ellis (1940), Jennifer Warnes (1947), Tim Kazurinsky (1950), Robyn Hitchcock (1953), Ira Glass (1959), Jackie Joyner-Kersee (1962), Tone Loc (1966), David Faustino (1974), Jessica Biel (1982)


In the past when someone told he’d lost his cell phone, my immediate reaction was always incredulity. It was tantamount to forgetting to wear pants to Thanksgiving, or leaving your hunting rifle at home when spending the weekend at the Palin residence. How could anyone, in this day and age, misplace their cell phone?

And then this past Tuesday happened.

I’m a bartender and my clothes go through a lot of wear and tear so I frequently need replacements. So Tuesday afternoon, I left a little early to swing by Target for new shoes and pants. When I got to work, I immediately went downstairs to change into my new duds and then headed upstairs for my shift. I reached into my pocket to switch my phone to silent as I always do but it wasn’t there. I searched my jacket. No phone. I went back downstairs to where I got dressed. No phone. I concluded that I must’ve left the damn thing at home and went about my business.

Several hours later, I arrived home and the first thing I did, of course, was search for my phone. It was nowhere to be found. I’d become one of the dozens of people I’d mocked. I was now one of them. And, to put it mildly, I was displeased.

Over the course of the next 24 hours, some startling realities came to light.

First, I never fully realized that I use my cell phone as a timepiece. I always knew that I’m apt to flip it open like a pocket watch and check the time about 15 times per hour but I didn’t understand how displaced I would feel without being able to do so.

Next, the inability to instantaneously text or call whomever I wished was sobering to me. I mean, I’m old enough to remember the days when no one but people like my father had cell phones. The rest of us had to wait to get home before we could get in touch with someone to share whatever it was we thought they needed to know.

The last realization was the worst: Not having my phone made me feel uncomfortable, like something just wasn’t right. It frustrated me that a small piece of plastic filled with microchips had the ability to affect me like that.

So, all the those notions perturbed me, but not actually having my phone was way worse. I tore apart the bedroom, the car, the everything. No phone. Shitty.

I resolved myself to the fact that it was gone. I made plans to go to the Verizon store and get a new one, extremely unhappy that all my phone numbers, pictures, etc. would be lost. I was not looking forward to it.

But, before I did all of that, I decided to go back to the restaurant and look around one last time. And there the little fucker was, underneath the printer tray in the room where I got changed. Just sitting there like, “Hey, where you been?”

So I apologize to all of you whom I’ve ridiculed for doing exactly what I did the other day. It happens. I understand that now.


He is the happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home. ↔ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Just started listening to Chicago indie outfit Smith Westerns. So far, I like “Weekend.”


I’m absolutely sure this dude needed to get arrested. But we’re in a bit of a gray area here, I think.

→ After reading a story like this, it’s hard to imagine how any out there would want to become a teacher.

→ I’d like to meet the person who bought Justin Bieber’s hair clippings for over $40K just so I can tell people I know the most enormous idiot on the planet.

03.03.10 – A Wednesday

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magnate [mag-neyt, -nit] n. 1. a person of great influence, importance, or standing in a particular enterprise, field of business, etc.: a railroad magnate 2. a person of eminence or distinction in any field: literary magnates 3. a member of the former upper house in either the Polish or Hungarian parliament


Alexander Graham Bell (1847), Jean Harlow (1911), Will Eisner (1917), James Doohan (1920), Doc Watson (1923), Perry Ellis (1940), Jennifer Warnes (1947), Tim Kazurinsky (1950), Robyn Hitchcock (1953), Ira Glass (1959), Jackie Joyner-Kersee (1962), Herschel Walker (1962), Tone Loc (1966), David Faustino (1974), Jessica Biel (1982)


I got nothing to yap about today. Well, that’s not true as I’m never at a loss to bitch and moan about just about anything. However, lack of sleep and a busy schedule today caused me to turn in early last night and, well, after getting home kind of late from tending bar, I made the decision to put off sharing my chosen topic for today until tomorrow. Come back then for some more.


Science fiction does not remain fiction for long. And certainly not on the Internet.Vinton Cerf


Looking back through the archives of this blog, I can’t believe I’ve never posted one of my favorite songs ever – “Alex Chilton” by The Replacements. The band has always been considered an acquired taste but if you don’t like this tune, you’re dead all the way through. Enjoy.


Man, no wonder the rest of this country thinks Philadelphia has a bad attitude. Could we be on any more of these “Worst Of…” lists? Come on, we’ve got our issues but, really, most of us are just normal folks who’d prefer it if our city was left off some of these lists. We’re more than just cheesesteaks and Rocky.

→ The news about the Chilean earthquake just keeps getting better. Turns out the damn thing moved the planet’s axis by about three inches, not enough to effect the seasons but plenty to shorten the length of actual days. My friend Kevin think the Earth is trying to shake us off because we suck. Might not be too far from the truth.

→ You know this shitty economy is just about rock bottom when even our fictional characters are losing their jobs. Keep your chin up, Spidey.

03.03.09 – Tuesday

Whereabouts: Philadelphia, PA

Word: colloquial [kŏ-loh-kwi-ăl] – adj. suitable for ordinary conversation but not for formal speech or writing, informal

Birthday: Alexander Graham Bell (1847), Jean Harlow (1911), James Doohan (1920), Doc Watson (1923), Tim Kazurinsky (1950), Ira Glass (1959), Jackie Joyner-Kersee (1962), Tone Lōc (1966), David Faustino (1974), Jessica Biel (1982)

Occurrence: 1991George Holliday films several Los Angeles police officers beating Rodney King. The four accused officers were orginally acquitted, setting off the L.A. riots. Two of them were eventually sentenced to 30-months each in jail. Rodney King is now a reality-television joke. George Holliday’s life has been turned upside-down because he filmed the whole thing. Funny how things seem so important at the time.

Irksome: “I’ll always be an Eagle.” Those were the words of safety Brian Dawkins after signing with the Denver Broncos over the weekend. On bulletin boards all across the internet, Eagles’ fans seem to be taking it well. For a change. And I think it is because the oft-wretched fans in this city are starting to understand that the Philadelphia Eagles are a top-notch football organization. (Click HERE to read Pete Prisco’s take on it.) Dawkins had every chance to stay in Philadelphia, a city he apparently loves and will no doubt be associated with in some way after his retirement as a player. Sure, he would’ve made less money. But isn’t asking the Eagles to pay him more than his declining skills are worth kind of unfair considering that the guy didn’t exactly light the world on fire last season? On the same token, would it be too much to ask a guy – already worth millions of dollars – to take a few million less to play for a team, and city, that he apparently loves? I don’t think so. For all of his talk of “heart” over the years, Dawkins sure didn’t show much of it this weekend as he donned the orange jersey. Don’t blame this on Coach Reid and Co. This one’s gotta fall square on the shoulders of B-Dawk.

Tidbit: One night, while watching The Dark Knight, I began to impersonate the voice that Christian Bale employed while playing the Batman part of his character. Not surprisingly, the imitation was spot-on. The person I was with said it sounded like it hurt, and it did a little. I wondered aloud if Bale had suffered any vocal cord problems while filming. Turns out he did. While filming Batman Begins, he lost his voice three different times due to the strain of altering his voice.

Quotation: Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.Jack Kerouac

Song: “Worry ‘til Spring” by Sprengjuhöllin was the most popular song in Iceland in 2007. It is also the only song I’ve been able to find by this band that is sung in English. (That doesn’t mean more don’t exist.) It’s a great, simple song. Click HERE to read a semi-goofy review of Sprengjuhöllin.

Website: HearYa.comgreat site for indie band reviews and free downloads

Gallimaufry: No matter how many times I watch the movie National Treasure, the only thing I take away from it is that Nicholas Cage runs like a girl…Finally found my copy of The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs. Still need to finish, but, at this point, highly recommend it…Click HERE to read about a guy who made a bong big enough to place his hyperactive kitten into. He paid a $400 fine. Unbelievable…The Tyra Banks Show has been on the air for 3 ½ years. All of you out there who are hoping to one day have a career as a television personality, just keep repeating that last sentence over and over in your head. Gives you hope, right? You’re welcome…Lastly, congratulations to my brother, Jeremy, who moved into his new house last week after many months of spending every free minute working on it. Nice job, buddy, the place looks fantastic.