04.30.10 – A Friday

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much obliged

Before I get into the last post, I wanted to thank all of you for reading and posting comments to the daily euneJeune. I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated all the feedback and support.

For their role, however large or small, they played in making this a rewarding undertaking, I’d like to give a special thanks to the following people: Donika Miller, Marc Schuster, David Frees, John Sellers, Ezgi Bilici, Joe Taylor, John Hay, Kate Jacovino, Jeannie Matamoros, Beth Treisner, Heather Petrovsky, Courtney Papada Daly, Kelly Kampf, Jonathan Chriswell, Bill McLeer, Kristie Attardi, Wynn Sanders, Mike Graveley, Richard O’Connor, Brian McFadden, Kevin Emery, Adam Schwartzberg and Annette Burgess. Your support was huge.

Sorry if you deserved a mention and didn’t get one. Doesn’t mean anything other than I’m forgetful.

Also, a special shout-out goes to Mindninja, or Jen, or whatever the hell your name is, for stalking me for a few months last year. Your unrelenting negativity taught me there’s always going to be someone who flat out disagrees with my perspective. I have no idea who you are, but I have my theories (ex-girlfriend, ex-friend, etc.). Whoever you are, I hope the medication is working.

All right, now to today’s installment.

word

abeyance [uh-bey-uhns] n. 1. temporary inactivity, cessation, or suspension: Let’s hold that problem in abeyance for a while 2. Law. a state or condition of real property in which title is not as yet vested in a known titleholder: an estate in abeyance

birthday

Jean-Baptiste de la Salle (1651), David Thompson (1770), Alice B. Toklas (1877), Percy Heath (1923), Johnny Horton (1925), Cloris Leachman (1926), Willie Nelson (1933), Gary Collins (1938), Burt Young (1940), Jill Clayburgh (1944), Isaiah Thomas (1961), Akon (1973), Johnny Galecki (1975), Kirsten Dunst (1982)

standpoint

It’s finally here. The day I’m closing shop on the euneJeune daily. 14 months ago, I began this to prove to myself I could write something, good or bad, on a daily basis. And, for the most part, I did. I’ll always look back to this blog as something I’m proud of. I’m going to miss it badly.

But life goes on and I need to spend the time I allotted for this and use it for the writing I was meant to. Don’t worry, I won’t be entirely disappearing from the internet. I’ve been invited to be a contributor on Popularity Contest, a blog recently started by my friend Marc Schuster, and I’ll be posting stories on there from time-to-time.

I love Esquire and my favorite section is always “What I’ve Learned.” For my last Standpoint, I’m going to share what I’ve learned about myself, about the internet, about the world, from what I’ve done here.

» Astrology is horseshit. The day of the year someone happens to be born is completely inconsequential. Oskar Schindler and Saddam Hussein share the same birthday. So do Leonardo da Vinci and Seth Rogen, Raphael and Zach Braff, Vincent van Gogh and MC Hammer, James Madison and Erik Estrada. Looking for similarities within those pairings is ridiculous.

» Like most writers, I guess, I have a tendency to concentrate on troublesome people. I’ve focused more on Glenn Beck, Oprah Winfrey and Sarah Palin than I have on Chuck Klosterman, Conan O’Brien and Jack Kerouac. Something I should dwell on for a stretch.

» I have a broader vocabulary than I used to. The other day, I heard someone describe himself as a polemic and I knew exactly what he meant. (He was calling himself a controversialist.)

» The amount of news stories on any given day is staggering. Between the “reputable” sources and the bloggers, it’s fairly easy to find a news story in which the facts are presented just the way you like them. It’s great because no one ever again has to be wrong. Even when they are.

» I challenge you to find any quotations website where Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde and Ralph Waldo Emerson aren’t prominently featured. Go on, I dare you.

» Probably even Zach Rogue thinks I listen to too much Rogue Wave.

» When you write a blog, your greatest friends won’t read it. If you offered my best friend Harvey $1 million to tell you just one thing I wrote about here in the past six months, he’d be forced to forfeit the cash. (I have to say Joe Taylor is an exception to this rule. Or I’d never hear the end of it.)

» If you’re doing anything online that’s in need of promotion and you fail to see the merits of Facebook an Twitter, you need to reconsider. The days where I shared or tweeted my latest post, my traffic was over three times higher than those days I didn’t. The stuff works.

» One thing anyone who writes needs to remember is that there are those out there who internalize everything they read. Because of that, you’ll receive negative and hurtful attacks. Never let the vitriol people spew stop you from expressing yourself. Fuck those people. Wake up tomorrow and keep going.

I’ve learned all that and more. I hope you learned some things, as well.

quotation

Don’t be dismayed by goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. Richard Bach

tune

For my last post I thought this Elliott Smith song was rather appropriate. Enjoy “A Fond Farewell.”

gallimaufry

→ If you’re not yet reading Hyperbole and a Half, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for. One of the greatest blogs I’ve read.

→ Man, US Senators sure do fancy themselves some meddling. Hey, elected officials, I’ve got to believe there some other problem you can be trying to solve. We’d be in a pretty sweet spot right now if Facebook privacy issues was the country’s highest priority.

This is the closest thing I’ve seen resembling honest journalism in a long, long time.

01.26.10 – A Tuesday

WORD

myopic [mahy-op-ik, –oh-pik] adj. 1. Ophthalmology. pertaining to or having myopia; nearsighted 2. unable or unwilling to act prudently; shortsighted 3. lacking tolerance or understanding; narrow-minded

BIRTHDAY

Douglas MacArthur (1880), Frank Costello (1891), Maria von Trapp (1905), Paul Newman (1925), Bob Uecker (1935), Scott Glenn (1941), Gene Siskel (1946), David Strathairn (1949), Lucinda Williams (1953), Eddie Van Halen (1955), Anita Baker (1956), Ellen Degeneres (1958), Wayne Gretzky (1961), Suleman Octuplets (2009)

STANDPOINT

Ah. I was going to try something new but I ended up getting my ass whooped in Rummy all night and time simply ran out. Maybe tomorrow.

QUOTATION

Unquestionably, it is possible to do without happiness; it is done involuntarily by nineteen-twentieths of mankind.John Stuart Mill

TUNE

Southern Culture on the Skids is a band whose songs are always hit or miss with me. One song that I’ve always loved is “My Baby’s Got The Strangest Ways.”

GALLIMAUFRY

If you absolutely love paying a lot of money for concert tickets, you better hold onto your lid because I’m about to flip it. The TicketMaster/Live Nation merger has been approved by the U. S. Department of Justice.

→ All this talk about the recession almost being over and there being a light at the end of the tunnel could be just that – talk. According to this article, things may never get better. This could be the way it’s always going to be.

→ Last Friday night, Conan O’Brien did his last episode of The Tonight Show. It was really good. The jam of “Freebird” at the end with Will Ferrell, Ben Harper, Beck, and others (as well as Conan himself) was especially great. Bye for now, Conan. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to watch at 11:30 now but, as always, I’ll figure something out.

01.18.10 – A Monday

WORD

pabulum [pab-yuh-luhm] n. 1. something that nourishes an animal or vegetable organism; food; nutriment 2. material for intellectual nourishment

BIRTHDAY

Montesquieu (1689), Daniel Webster (1782), Thomas Watson (1854), A. A. Milne (1882), Cary Grant (1904), Danny Kaye (1913), Ray Dolby (1933), David Ruffin (1941), Kevin Costner (1955), Mark Messier (1961), Dave Attell (1965), Jesse L. Martin (1969), Joanna Newsom (1982), Seung-Hui Cho (1984)

STANDPOINT

While I type this, NBC and Conan O’Brien are said to be close to a deal that will end the O’Brien’s stint as host of The Tonight Show after a mere seven months.

The complete failure of Jay Leno’s nightly 10pm show on NBC caused the network to move the 60-year old back to his original time slot of 11:35pm, leaving no place for O’Brien.

Everyone’s talking about it and there’s really nothing new to say on the issue but I’d like to encourage everyone who reads this blog to boycott Leno from here on out, in whatever forum the dipshit appears. It’s a heartless thing he’d doing here, not to mention meaningless.

Is NBC expecting everyone to watch Leno just because? Old people will probably go back to watching Leno because most old people, from as much as I can tell, like the kind of dopey crap he presents.

O’Brien will land on his feet. FOX is very interested in talking to him. Plus, he’s probably going to get somewhere near $40 million for his trouble. But still, NBC and Leno should be kneecapped for what’s gone on.

QUOTATION

Everything is handed to society now. Before, you had to dig for it. I like that — digging for it.Al Green

TUNE

In my head, I’ve a list of ten songs of which I will never tire. R.E.M.‘s “The Great Beyond” is one of them. Maybe number three on that list. I’m not sure.

GALLIMAUFRY

My dream of a New Orleans SaintsSan Diego Chargers Super Bowl was destroyed yesterday as the New York Jets (that’s right) beat Philip Rivers and crew in a surprising 17-14 upset. Let’s go, Saints!

→ Dear Mark McGwire, please shut the fuck up. We all know you did steroids. We all know you are now admitting it so that you can get a job in baseball. We all know that you’re a disgrace to athletes everywhere. We get it. Go away.

→ In a shocking development, MTV is actually producing a show featuring (I hope you’re sitting down) – MUSIC! Vampire Weekend did an episode of MTV Unplugged. And there wasn’t even a cameo by the cast of Jersey Shore.

11.09.09 – A Monday

WORD

actuate [ak-choo-eyt] v. 1. to incite or move to action; impel; motivate: actuated by selfish motives 2. to put into action; start a process; turn on: to actuate a machine

BIRTHDAY

Benjamin Banneker (1731), Elijah P. Lovejoy (1802), Ed Wynn (1886), Hedy Lamarr (1914), Sargent Shriver (1915), Choi Hong Hi (1918), Spiro Agnew (1918), Dorothy Dandridge (1923), Carl Sagan (1934), Lou Ferrigno (1951), Sandra “Pepa” Denton (1964), Scarface (1970), David Duval (1971), Big Punisher (1971), Nick Lachey (1973), Joe C. (1974), Sisqó (1978)

STANDPOINT

Man. It’s been a while so I’ve got copious notes on shit I need to unleash on. Where to start?

In the spirit of getting myself readjusted to this blog at the proper rate, I’ll only offer this today.

A few weeks ago, comedian Louis CK went on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien and, in a little over four minutes, explained the root of what’s wrong with most everything.

Watch the video. Think to yourself, “Is he talking about me?”

If you think he may be describing you, the answer is probably, “Yes.”

If you think he is definitely not describing you, the answer is assuredly, “Yes.”

Now, I know it is just a guy sitting on a couch, venting in an attempt to entertain, but he’s summed it up, people. Whether you realize it or not.

The Age of Entitlement is most definitely upon us. It is evident in absolutely everything everyone of us thinks, says and does every minute of every day.

“Everything is so amazing and no one is happy.” True Story.

QUOTATION

You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.Jim Bouton

TUNE

All of us, at one point or another in our lives, will come to a place that truly sucks. It’s inevitable. Some songs can lessen the pain, if you truly want it to. “Wash Away (Reprise)” by Joe Purdy has, from time to time, been one of those songs for me. Use it at your own discretion. And enjoy.

GALLIMAUFRY

→ For those of you on Facebook who are among the group graced enough to call themselves childless, you’ll probably get a kick out STFU, Parents. Most of you parents will probably like it, too. After all, not all of you are bat-shit crazy. But there are more than a few/dozen of you.

→ To the girl at the bar a few nights back who told me Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman was “awful,” I’m happy to report you’re wrong. Which I pretty much assumed was the case after your 15-minute tirade detailing the Elliott SmithBen Folds conspiracy I’m sure only exists in the recesses of the crazy-ass world in your head.  

→ Lastly, I’d like to thank all of you who’ve sent me emails, asking me to restart this blog. I really appreciate it. I sincerely missed doing it. Also, if this post appears clumsy, I promise you, I’ll get back in the swing of it. After the long break, it was difficult deciding what to include. I’ll work it out. Come back tomorrow for some more.

06.03.09 – Wednesday

Word: octogenarian [ok-tuh-juhnair-ee-uhn] adj. 1. of the age of 80 years 2. between 80 and 90 years old ∞ n. 3. a person who is between 80 and 90 years old 

Birthday: Jefferson Davis (1808), Josephine Baker (1906), Tony Curtis (1925), Allen Ginsberg (1926), Chuck Barris (1929), Raúl Castro (1931), Larry McMurtry (1936), Curtis Mayfield (1942), Billy Cunningham (1943), Anderson Cooper (1967), Rafael Nadal (1986)

Quotation: And in today already walks tomorrow. Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Tune: “After Hours” by We Are Scientists was released last year but it could’ve easily been used in a 1980s John Hughes film.

Gallimaufry: Two nights into Conan O’Brien‘s reign as the King of Late Night as host of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien and the verdict? So far, so good. Not much has changed. Max Weinberg and the band are still in play. Andy Richter is back after nine years. Quality stuff. ∞ A new social research study is suggesting that we lose half of our close friends every seven years. According to Gerald Mollenhorst of Utrecht University in the Netherlands, our social networks do not diminish in size but 50% of the roster changes. 1,007 people were interviewed. Seven years later, 604 of them were re-interviewed. With the advent of Facebook, I’m not sure that Dr. Mollenhurst wouldn’t be better served starting over. ∞ I consistently mock individuals who preach the dangers of Twitter and Facebook screwing with people’s privacy. I still think the danger is minimal but, listen, you have to use common sense. Don’t be like this guy and announce to the world that you’re in a totally different city, miles and miles away. Why? Because just maybe someone will find out where you live and steal shit out of your house. It’s not the technology that’s dangerous. It’s the lack of common sense.

Incoming: TomorrowHollywood’s Quest to Remake Every Goddam ThingFriday3 Things To Do In Philly When You’re Dead