06.20.11 – a monday

word

Golgotha [gol-guh-thuh] n. 1. a hill near Jerusalem where Jesus was buried; Calvary 2. a place of suffering or sacrifice 3. a place of burial

birthday

Errol Flynn (1909), Audie Murphy (1924), Martin Landau (1928), Danny Aiello (1933), Brian Wilson (1942), Anne Murray (1945), Bob Vila (1946), Lionel Richie (1949), John Goodman (1952), Nicole Kidman (1967), Josh Lucas (1971), Mike Birbiglia (1978)

standpoint

I’m sitting here watching Return of the Jedi and wondering if SPIKE TV airs anything other than the six Star Wars movies. I’m not knocking it. Just wondering.

By my own estimation, this must be my 50th viewing of Jedi (don’t judge) and it’s one of several movies that I can quote verbatim. And, while I’m an above average fan of most things Star Wars, I dislike most everything about Luke Skywalker. I like the actual character but I think the casting of Mark Hamill might be one of the biggest cinematic blunders ever. Whenever his whiny ass is featured prominently in a scene, my mind wanders.

And now I’m thinking of the other night, while I was bartending, when one of my regular customers asked me a question that people pose when they’re running out of discussion topics: If you could have dinner with five people, alive or dead, who would they be?

First, and I didn’t always feel this way, but I tend to pick people that are alive. It’s drastically more feasible.

Second, depending on what I’m into in terms of reading, music, entertainment in general, I’m likely not to list the same five people from one day to the next. I’m fickle like that.

Third, I don’t want to have dinner with all five people at the same time. That would be awkward and futile. Dinners typically last two hours when they’re going well. 25 minutes per person? No. As long as we’re playing an adult version of make believe, I prefer to name five people I would have dinner with on an individual basis.

IN ANY CASE, here’s the five people I would currently select.

Kevin Nealon – Even though he was on SNL for several years he never struck me as particularly hilarious. But I saw him on Real Time over the weekend and I now think the two of us might hit it off.

Stephanie Courtney – You’re probably asking, “Who the hell is that?” Well, it’s Flo from those Progressive commercials and, yes, I understand she’s playing a part.

Bob Mould – I’m not in love with every song he’s ever made but he’s responsible for more than a few of my favorites and the progression of his career fascinates me. I’m definitely going to read his autobiography, See A Little Light: The Trail of Rage and Melody.

A. J. Jacobs – If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you’ve figured out I’m a gigantic fan of this guy and his perpetual curiosity. I’m halfway through My Life As an Experiment: One Man’s Humble Quest To Improve Himself and it’s pretty great. (Thanks, Samantha.)

Louis C. K. – I consider him to be the funniest guy around right now and if we had dinner I’d probably be so intimidated I wouldn’t talk at all. And that would be weird for the both of us. I’m really looking forward to the second season of Louie.

All right, that’s it for now, I’m gonna watch the final assault on the Death Star and then head to bed.

quotation

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. ↔ Erich Fromm

tune

I mentioned him above so I thought I would share one of the songs that first made me dig Bob Mould, “Compositions For the Young and Old.”

gallimaufry

I’m a little late with this but several of you emailed me this video after I wrote about how going to the movies nowadays is a microcosm of what a shitty society we’ve made.

Obviously, I love that the Alamo Drafthouse did this.

→ Even if you’re not a golf fan, you must give props to Rory McIlroy for what he did at the U.S. Open over the weekend. Truly amazing stuff.

→ C’mon, Bill Murray. Get off your high horse and make this happen. I realize you consider yourself above this kind of thing now but it’s what the people want.

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04.08.10 – A Thursday

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word

felicitous [fi-lis-i-tuhs] adj. 1. well-suited for the occasion, as an action, manner, or expression; apt; appropriate: The chairman’s felicitous anecdote set everyone at ease 2. having a special ability for suitable manner or expression, as a person

birthday

David Rittenhouse (1732), Betty Ford (1918), Carmen McRae (1920), Kofi Annan (1938), Stuart Pankin (1946), Tom DeLay (1947), Steve Howe (1947), John Schneider (1960), Izzy Stradlin (1962), Julian Lennon (1963), Biz Markie (1964), Robin Wright Penn (1966), Patricia Arquette (1968)

standpoint

Short and sweet today. Here’s a list of shit I need to stop hearing or reading about. It’s a new section called I’m Tired Of These.

  1. Toyota – The Japanese car company used to be considered the best in the world. But they made a mistake. Ever make one yourself?
  2. Federal Income Taxes – Almost half of our nation’s households don’t pay income tax. It’s been happening for a few years now. You only know about it now because certain political factions want you to. No one was freaking about it when the President was a generic white guy.
  3. Facebook Simpletons – When I was in high school, my mother had my father take me to the family hairdresser and, while we were in route, called the lady and instructed her to ignore my instructions and cut seven inches off every hair on my head. Was I pissed? You betcha. Did I sue my mother? No. Dude, unless your mother is beating you mercilessly, shut the fuck up and deal with the fact you got caught.
  4. Texting While Driving – If you don’t understand why this is dangerous, you should call the authorities to come pick you up and put you on the next plane to Mexico.
  5. Obama Is A Communist – For real? That’s the best you’ve got? It’s okay if you disagree with our President. I’m not saying you’re right or wrong. But if Joe McCarthy was still around, even his drunk ass would come up with more current terminology.

About the only truth out there right now is the national media is lazy. It’s creating (and recreating) your news for you. Find out what’s what for yourself.

quotation

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. Miles Franklin

tune

With a recently revamped iPod and a renewed determination to attain my exemplary weight, I’ve started working out again. (In case you’re unaware, two years ago, I tipped the scales at 260 lbs. Nowadays, I find myself in between 210 and 220 lbs. I’m resolute to get down to my original goal of 200 lbs.) And I’m not joining gym, or enlisting in the ranks of the single-minded bicycle enthusiasts. I’m simply going to walk. Hard and fast. And what’s great about that is I don’t need a bunch of redundant fist-pumping music like one’ll find in those inane spinning classes. Any good music will do. Today, I listened to Keep In Mind, Frankenstein by Grand Archives. Here’s “Dig That Crazy Grave.”

gallimaufry

→ Remember all the snow we were having around here a while back? And how everyone was joking, “Hey, Al Gore, what happened to global warming?” Well, morons, one snowy winter hasn’t stopped the effects of what will probably destroy this world before we humans get a shot at it. Don’t believe me? Click here.

→ Today, Tiger Woods resumes his golfing career. But not before this guy used his standing to read him the riot act.

→ All you who are still confounded by what actually happened with the Donovan McNabb trade, as usual, Sal Paolantonio has the inside dope.