03.15.10 – A Monday

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word

lachrymose [lak-ruh-mohs] adj. 1. suggestive of or tending to cause tears; mournful 2. given to shedding tears readily; tearful

birthday

Andrew Jackson (1767), Eduard Strauss (1835), Lightnin’ Hopkins (1912), Lawrence Tierney (1919), Cecil Taylor (1929), Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933), Judd Hirsch (1935), Jimmy Swaggart (1935), Phil Lesh (1940), Mike Love (1941), Sly Stone (1944), Ry Cooder (1947), Dee Snider (1955), Terence Trent D’Arby (1962), Bret Michaels (1963), Mark McGrath (1968), Mark Hoppus (1972), Eva Longoria (1975), Will.i.am (1975), Joe Hahn (1977), Takeru Kobayashi (1978)

standpoint

Today’s Standpoint is going to be short and sweet.

Over the weekend, I coined a phrase that, I feel, is a surefire bet to find its way into the cultural lexicon.

You’re most likely heard people discussing the latest “It Movie”, the one all the with-it folks are lining up to see, over and over again.

A recent example would be Avatar. Last year, it was The Hangover. But these are not just “It Movies”, they’re “Yet Movies”. Only a short while ago, I was having dinner at my parents’ house, which is something I love to do but don’t do enough, and my mother posed the question, “Joshua, have you seen Avatar yet?” I laughed a little and responded, “I’m trying to get to the theater to see it, but American Idol is on so damn much, frankly, I’m having trouble finding a night to get out of the house.”

Obviously, I was joking. She wasn’t the first person in my life to ask me a similar question. Seeing Avatar hasn’t earned a spot on my top 100 things to do, and sitting through an episode of American Idol will probably never crack the top 500. The phrasing of the question struck me as odd.

It was the last word – YET. “Have you filed your taxes yet?” “Have you taken a shower yet?” “Christ, are you ready yet?” Those are all questions insinuating an action that’ll eventually needed to be completed. As if it’ll only be a matter of time before I’ll be compelled to capitulate. Apparently, it’s such a fantastic film, I’ve got an obligation, as a member of the human race, one day I’ll find myself watching Avatar and, for no other reason than just because.

I don’t mean to pick on Avatar and I patiently listen to those who castigate me for not seeing it, especially since it’s “so kickass” in 3-D. Before we know it, there’s going to be another movie to take its place, one I probably won’t be falling over myself to rush out and see.

And everyone will be asking me, “Dude, why haven’t you seen it yet?” I won’t have a response that’ll ease their uneasiness. But, I might try to make them feel a little better by telling them about that night back in March when I coined the phrase “The Yet Movie.” You heard it here first.

quotation

…And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it’s enough. I really do because they’ve made me happy. And I’m only one person.Stephen Chbosky

tune

Until recently, Charles Mingus was the most overlooked jazz musician of his time. The guy was both a genius and a mess. His autobiography, Beneath the Underdog: His World As Composed by Mingus,  is still one of the best books I’ve ever read. Lately, when people talk about the big jazz legends, Mingus’ name is being mentioned more and more. And that’s a great thing because, while the guy didn’t receive his due credit during his lifetime, it’s better late than never. Here’s “Myself When I Am Real.” A good title to a great song.

gallimaufry

Back in high school, I pretty much did everything I wasn’t supposed, within reasonable limits. I could’ve easily been one of these kids. Luckily, most of my teachers were men and sleeping with a teacher was at least one thing I spared my parents from having to deal with. And for that,Mom and Dad, you’re welcome.

What a shitty day this lady had. At the completion of her jog, some assjack tried to sexually assault her. She escaped by literally jumping off of a friggin’ cliff. Then the dude takes off on her car. She escaped with minor injuries and she’s okay, but still, she was just trying to get a little exercise. Hey, perverts, in case you’re unaware, I’m here to enlighten you: You suck.

→ I know I’ve plugged these guys before but, the way I see it, there’s nothing stopping me from doing it again, After all, when it comes to the content on this blog, I’m my own boss. (And a good one at that.) If you’re considering getting a tattoo or a body piercing and you’re in the Philadelphia area, the only shop you need consider is Liberty Tattoo in Skippack Village, PA. The folks who run the joint are not only friends of mine but have a fantastic reputation in their line of work. Don’t go anywhere else.

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02.01.10 – A Monday

WORD

mountebank [moun-tuh-bangk] n. 1. a person who sells quack medicines, as from a platform in public places, attracting and influencing an audience by tricks, storytelling, etc 2. any charlatan or quack v. 3. to act or operate as a mountebank

BIRTHDAY

Conn Smythe (1895), Clark Gable (1901), Langston Hughes (1902), Boris Yeltsin (1931), Don Everly (1937), Garrett Morris (1937), Sherman Hemsley (1938), Terry Jones (1942), Rick James (1948), Sonny Landreth (1951), Brandon Lee (1965), Sherilyn Fenn (1965), Princess Stephanie of Monaco (1965), Lisa Marie Presley (1968), Pauly Shore (1968), Joshua Redman (1969), Michael C. Hall (1971), Phil Ivey (1976)

STANDPOINT

Time for another installment of The Wishing Well, a place for me to close my eyes and wish for things that will never come to fruition.

I WISH The Grammy Awards weren’t utter fucking bullshit. It’s a bunch of celebrities posing as musicians, receiving praise for their involvement with  songs that are eagerly consumed by a society content with the notion that being spoonfed soulless, unimaginative garbage is actually something worthy of dedicating millions of dollars and, worse, a perfectly good Sunday night.

I WISH I was ignorant to the fact President Obama’s proposed budget going to Congress was for $3.8 trillion. Anyone else wish there was some gigantic magical RESET button? Let’s start over and, hey, this time around, let’s try using our brains.

I WISH my fantasy hockey team somehow reflected how much I know about the sport. But, so far this year, it’s not happening.

I WISH, as a bartender observing many first dates, I could smack some sense into some of the men who do and/or say things practically guaranteeing a long drive home accompanied only by the raging questions in their head about what exactly went wrong.

I WISH all you reading this will help me out and follow my place of employment, the Parc Bistro in Skippack PA, on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks.

QUOTATION

The manner in which Americans ”consume” music has a lot to do with leaving it on their coffee tables, or using it as wallpaper for their lifestyles, like the score of a movie –it’s consumed that way without any regard for how and why it’s made.Frank Zappa

TUNE

Yes, I totally understand I’m breaking from the norm here. But I am fond of “Nobody Knows Me” by Lyle Lovett. Sue me.

GALLIMAUFRY

I’m ditching this section today. Thanks for reading. Come back tomorrow for some more.

11.10.09 – A Tuesday

WORD

animus [anuh-muhs] n. 1. strong dislike or enmity; hostile attitude; animosity 2. purpose; intention; animating spirit 3. (in the psychology of C. G. Jung) the masculine principle, esp. as present in women

BIRTHDAY

Martin Luther (1483), Winston Churchill (1871), Russell Johnson (1924), Richard Burton (1925), Ennio Morricone (1928), Roy Scheider (1932), Russell Means (1939), Saxby Chambliss (1943), Tim Rice (1944), Sinbad (1956), Linda Cohn (1959), Mackenzie Phillips (1959), Neil Gaiman (1960), Michael Jai White (1967), Tracy Morgan (1968), Warren G. (1970), Brittany Murphy (1977), Eve (1978), Miranda Lambert (1983)

STANDPOINT

While I’m not writing this blog or reading a book or doing something of a social nature or whatever the hell else I feel like, I am a bartender. I like being a bartender. I like serving drinks, talking to people and making them laugh. It’s important to like what you do. For those of you out there who don’t like your chosen occupation, get out while you still can. That’s my advice to you. So there.

In any case, there’s one aspect of bartending that grates on my fucking nerves – listening to people drone on and on about something that matters so little to everyone everywhere and no one yet realizes it.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of pointless nonsense about one subject in particular. You see, I bartend in a little town called Skippack. Down the road a ways is a slightly-larger, but no more important, town named Collegeville, cleverly because of the fact Ursinus College is located within it.

But nowadays, no one’s talking about Ursinus. To be fair, it’s likely they weren’t anyway. Nevertheless, there’s only one thing everyone wants to talk about no matter what: the grand opening of the Wegmans, a supermarket that, apparently, has the ability to capture the collective consciousness of everyone within a 45-minute drive.

It’s all anyone can talk about. So automatically I hate it. In general, I have a problem with anything that no one has a problem with. That’s mainly my problem with almost everything.

Here’s the thing. I don’t want to talk about a place you can go to buy food. (a) I’m not particularly dazzled by recollections of an, until now, never before seen selection of cheese. Also, (b) I’m not entirely impressed by the fact there’s a pub inside a supermarket. In addition, (c) I’m not remotely interested in the largest selection of seafood in the area. (These three things, by the way, are almost always offered as the main reasons one would ever go to Wegmans, although not the only ones.)

Granted, I am a single, 35-year old male (temporarily) living in an area greatly overpopulated with parents and children. For parents, it is a unique opportunity to provide for your family and afford yourself a few drinks while doing it, instead of having to wait to get home, unload the groceries, make dinner and put the kids to bed before opening a bottle of wine, or four, and get your buzz on. I am not ignorant of this fact. As I’ve been more exposed to parents as an adult, I’ve figured out that good parenting is directly proportionate to the amount of weekly alcohol consumption. It wasn’t that way when I was growing up but that’s the way it is now. At least, for the most part. Not saying all you parents out there are getting bombed every night. But a lot of you are. I can’t blame you. If I were a parent, I would probably be within your ranks.

In any case, hearing people swap stories about their first (and second and third) trip to Wegmans is about as depressing a level of converation that can be reached.

I refuse to participate.

So I’m not going. Even it means never talking to anyone again. Or, at least, until I move downtown in January. Then, I’ll have to talk to all the single folks about how fresh everything at Whole Foods seem to be. But, somehow, it doesn’t seem like it’ll suck half as much.

QUOTATION

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.  It works in reverse, too.  When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.P.J. O’Rourke

TUNE

Sometimes, all it takes is a killer line in a song to make listen to it about 93 times – over and over. Such is the case with Mike Doughty‘s tune, “I Just Want the Girl in the Blue Dress To Keep On Dancing.” It’s a good and quick song that features the line, “I’ll assess the essence of the mess…” Not sure why I like that so much. But I do. And that’s that.

GALLIMAUFRY

→ If you haven’t seen the video footage of University of New Mexico’s women’s soccer player, Elizabeth Lambert, you should. This chick is so completely crazy, I’m surprised I’ve never dated her.

→ Just want to officially thank the Philadelphia Phillies for coming oh-so-very-close to winning back-to-back World Series. I know the whole organization has been waiting for me to weigh in. Once again, I will state Philadelphia is a “baseball town.” I will keep saying that until everyone believes it. Because it’s the truth.

→ In a world gone mad, sometimes I read some news that alleviates all the numbness and actually allows me to feel again. The fact Steven Tyler has officially left Aerosmith was not that kind of news. I’m sure there’s a large group of people out there who care when a middle-aged singer leaves a band that hasn’t contributed anything musically solid in decades. I’m just not a member of that group.