11.18.09 – A Wednesday

WORD

paragon [paruh-gon, -guhn] n. 1. a model or pattern of excellence or of a particular excellence 2. Printing. a 20-point type 3. an unusually large, round pearl v. 4. to compare; parallel 5. to be a match for; rival

BIRTHDAY

Asa Gray (1810), Dorothy Dix (1861), George Gallup (1901), Imogene Coca (1908), Hank Ballard (1927), Don Cherry (1936), Margaret Atwood (1939), Linda Evans (1942), Graham Parker (1950), Delroy Lindo (1952), Kevin Nealon (1953), Elizabeth Perkins (1960), Owen Wilson (1968), Duncan Sheik (1969), Mike Epps (1970), Chloë Sevigny (1974)

STANDPOINT

OK. What’s irking the shit out of me today is quite simple. People keep asking me, “Why do you write so angry?”

Yes. I write angry. Yes. I am occassionally an angry person. But that doesn’t mean much of anything except I’m one of those folks who’s easily bothered by the people I come into contact with everyday. And you may not be one of those folks. And that’s fine. But maybe you should be.

You see, my problem with people thinking I’m too angry is there aren’t enough of you out there who are remotely angry enough. Being angry or annoyed is not cool because everyone wants everyone to just be cool. But, the truth is, there aren’t enough of you out there acting remotely cool enough.

And, so, if I tend to get a bit animated or a little too passionate about the current state of most everything, you’ll have to forgive me. I’m just not down with everyone being so goddam down about stuff.

QUOTATION

What I’ve learned about teaching is to refer back to the root of that word, which is educo, which means “to pull from.” Education does not mean jamming information into somebody’s head. Rather, it’s that ancient idea that all knowledge is within us; to teach is to help somebody pull it out of themselves.Alan Arkin

TUNE

Tonight, I’m headed down, with Jer and Ezgi, to World Cafe Live in Philadelphia to see Blind Pilot. I hope I hear “The Story I Heard.” I really can’t imagine a scenario where I wouldn’t.

GALLIMAUFRY

→ Suddenly, pharmaceutical companies have come to the conclusion it might be a good idea to get into the preventive medicine business, instead of the curbing and/or curing side of it. In the next five years, there may be vaccines available for such maladies as Alzheimer’s disease, AIDS, Malaria, grass allergies and even something called traveler’s diarrhea. With the soaring prices of prescriptions and the subsequent scramble to find other options like the internet and Canada, maybe someone at one of these companies said somethig like, “Hey, what if we switch gears and actually try to find a genuine way to help people? I mean, we’ve tried everything else, right? Let’s give it a shot.” Funny, how a completely fucked economical situation can bring out the best in people.

A group of Native Americans, who’d filed a suit against the Washington Redskins over the use of the name “Redskins,” had their case tossed out by the US Supreme Court yesterday for, from what I can tell, is a complete technicality. I’m no lawyer, though, so I could easily be wrong. However, what I’m completely unwrong about is that the NFL franchise should just give up the name. We’re headed toward the future here, people, let’s keep our eyes on the ball. (Plus, the Redskins are so bad I’m sure hardly anyone would notice if they became the Washington Suckasses.)

Jonathan Safran Foer, author of one of my favorite books of all-time, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, has a new non-fiction novel coming out titled Eating Animals. Check out his interview with the AV Club.

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11.13.09 – A Friday

WORD

garrulous [garuh-luhs, gar-yuh-] adj. 1. excessively talkative in a rambling, roundabout manner, esp. about trivial matters 2. wordy or diffuse: a garrulous and boring speech

BIRTHDAY

John Dickinson (1732), Robert Louis Stevenson (1850), Richard Mulligan (1932), Garry Marshall (1934), John Hammond (1942), Joe Mantegna (1947), Chris Noth (1954), Whoopi Goldberg (1955), Jimmy Kimmel (1967), Steve Zahn (1967), Gerard Butler (1969)

STANDPOINT

If you put a gun to my head (and I’m by no means suggesting you do that), and asked me, given a choice, what’s my favorite leisure time activity, I’m relatively sure the answer would be watching a Philadelphia Flyers game with either my brother Jer or my best friend Harv, and preferrably both because we are all of the same mind when it comes to the game of hockey. (If I could pick a third person to be there, it’d be my good friend Joe, but he resides in Connecticut and it’s not really practical for him to drive down for games. I’m sure you realize this without me explaining it.)

I am completely certain 99% of you, in a similar circumstance, would offer a different response. (Although, that’s your loss because, even if you don’t like hockey, Jer and Harv and Joe are three solid dudes to hang with.)

Knowing what an excellent judge of character I am, I’m positive it wouldn’t be my choice of company you’d find fault with – it’d be my choice of actually watching hockey. Which no one seems to do these days.

When it comes to watching professional sporting contests, the game of hockey is fighting an uphill battle. And here’s why.

This country loves two sports the most – football and baseball. Again, you may disagree, and that’s totally fine. But for the purposes here, I’m going to adhere to the idea football and baseball are the two sports most everyone couldn’t live without as if it’s a legitimate fact. Which, despite your opinion, is completely true.

Why are football and baseball so popular? Well, lots and lots of reasons. Most everyone of you grew up playing one or both of these sports, or wishing you could. Also, you know all the rules due to the fact the commentators endlessly disect each and every at-bat/play. In addition, of all the televised sports, football and baseball simply offer the opportunity for more bathroom breaks and the chance to talk to your buddies about the game without actually talking during it. There are more, but, in the interests of space and keeping your attention, I’ll stop at those three.

With hockey, hardly any of us have ever played it. (No, NHL ’94 for the Sega Genesis doesn’t count. Although, I’d listen to any argument to the contrary.) Unless you make a deliberate effort to do so, some of the less-obvious rules are hard to figure out. Lastly, it’s a game you need to pay attention to – talking about the game is reserved for the few commercial breaks and the two 15-minute intermissions.

For those reasons, and probably 200 more, the game of hockey just doesn’t jive with most everyone out there. And, while I’d love to, I can’t say as I blame you. It’s easy to watch a baseball game with friends, even when not everyone in the room particularly cares about the outcome because everyone pretty much knows what’s going on. Same with football games but they have the added bonus of having become excuses to eat a lot of food and drink a bunch of beers which I’m a huge fan of.  They’re major social experiences in a culture becoming more and more devoid of them. I can’t find fault with wanting to spend your time away from work, time away from your kids, time away from whatever, in a relaxing atmosphere where you can yell at the television and rarely use your brain. (That last statement was sincere, not sarcastic.)

Me? I enjoy watching a sport that encourages me to think, requires my attention and leaves me, win or lose, with a weird sense of fulfillment. I love baseball and I kinda like football. But neither give me the same thrill.

And so, I’m a hockey fan.

QUOTATION

You can’t navigate me. I may do mean things, and I may hurt you, and I may run away without your permission, and you may hate me forever, and I know that scares the living shit outta you ’cause you know I’m the only real thing you got.Ethan Hawke (as Troy Dyer in Reality Bites)

TUNE

Admittedly, this is bad timing after my whole music snobbery rant, but I drove around all over the place yesterday, and I’m trying to become less dependent on my iPod, and attempting to revisit my vaunted CD collection. In any case, I listened to Fountains of Wayne the whole time. Not widely considered an important cog in the machinery of essential music. But, fuck it. I like the band just the same. Especially “No Better Place.”

GALLIMAUFRY

→ I’ve no idea why I like these HTC television ads so much, but I do. Here’s my favorite.

Joselio Hanson, a backup CB for the Phiadelphia Eagles, has received a four-game suspension for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. Dude. Come on. You’re a backup CB. Really necessary?

→ I tweeted this last night, but for those of you not hip to the Twitter thing yet, I’m encouraging everyone I know to listen to the music of my buddy Emerson B. Go hear his tunes on MySpace. Follow him on Twitter. And get out to one of his shows. If, for no other reason, than you might be able to hang with me.

09.14.09 – A Monday

Word

gadabout [gaduh-bout] n. 1. a person who moves about restlessly or aimlessly, esp. from one social activity to another 2. a person who travels often or to many different places, esp. for pleasure

Birthday

Claudius Clavus (1388), Johann Michael Haydn (1737), Hamlin Garland (1860), Harry Sinden (1932), Walter Koenig (1936), Larry Brown (1940), Joey Heatherton (1944), Sam Neill (1947), Beth Neilsen Chapman (1958), Wendy Thomas (1961), Faith Ford (1964), Dan Cortese (1967), Tyler Perry (1969), Robert Ben Garant (1970), Kimberly Williams-Paisley (1971), Nas (1973), Amy Winehouse (1983)

Standpoint

Oh, man, yesterday was the first Sunday of NFL season, and, Christ, could it have been more dramatic for the Philadelphia Eagles and their fans? I’m completely sure the answer is no.

Yesterday afternoon, Donovan McNabb ran in for a 3rd quarter touchdown, putting another nail in the coffin his team was busy building for a supremely shitty Carolina Panthers football team. And then some 300-lb. dude named Damione Lewis landed all of his significant weight on McNabb’s rib cage, causing some sort of damage, the extent of which is not yet fully determined

Suddenly, as McNabb was writhing in pain on the turf, and FOX Sports was already showing the live feed of Michael Vick up in some luxury box, it wasn’t hard to envision the lightbulbs go on over the collective braintrust that is Philadelphia Eagles fans everywhere.

Later, as Kevin Kolb entered the game and did just a tiny bit better playing quarterback than, say, a robot I might make in my basement out of old stereo components, it wasn’t hard to conjure what every die-hard, bleeding-green member of Eagles’ nation was thinking.

Dogs? What dogs? I sort of remember something about Michael Vick and dogs. I kind of remember there being some kind of negative attention he may have attracted to himself involving something he did with/to dogs. It’s all a bit fuzzy. Let’s move on.

Couple of superb truths are about to be brought to light regarding “the best fans in football.”

One, this city seems to get its rocks off on when a guy, who’s done nothing but smile through all the massive amounts of shit we’ve hurled his way, gets physically injured. (I’ll elaborate more on the McNabb/Philadelphia relationship in tomorrow’s post.)

Two, all the clowns who were so “outraged” by the Vick signing are going to find that feeling suddenly replaced with outright panic over who’s going to quarterback the football team they’ve dedicated endless hours revolving their lives around.

Instantaneously, this city is about to change its tune. Because, while the pointless slaughter of defenseless dogs is, yes, a crime, it doesn’t come close to the potential atrocity of not making the playoffs.

Quotation

I’m always concerned that I’m not being nice enough. You know, people have told me I’m unfailingly polite….But I think those people are all pieces of shit. ◊ Michael Cera

Tune

Listening to tons of really good stuff the past couple of weeks. At least 15 new albums, mostly because of eMusic giving me 50 free downloads for some reason or another. The best of the bunch is, hands  down, Touchdown by brakesbrakesbrakes, known as Brakes in its native UK, featuring members of British Sea Power, Electric Soft Parade and The Tenderfoot. I may be digging on it so much because there are certain parts of the album where the band seems to be channeling Rogue Wave. And that’s fine by me because if there are two bands out there who can gracefully twist an turn through an album like that, all the better. Try “Worry About It Later.”

Gallimaufry

 → I’ve never been a huge Jim Carroll fan, but definitely had a boatload of respect for his body of work. Very sad to learn that he died this past Friday night from a heart attack at the age of 60. He was someone who two of my personal heroes, Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg, recognized as a viable voice. his poetry and prose never really appealed to me, but, being the music geek that I happen to be, I’ve always loved “People Who Died” – one of the only great songs to come out of Carroll’s foray into music.

→ I’ll be the first one to tell anyone who’ll listen there isn’t an abundance of interesting people up here in the suburbs. Exception to the rule are my friends who run Liberty Tattoo in Skippack. Talented, cool folks. Definitely worth a drive up from wherever the hell it is you are to get some quality work done on your person.

→ I’ve made an important life decision. If you and I are to be friends, I’ll need to be convinced you have a firm grasp of the important contribution Calvin and Hobbes made to our society. If you’re smart, you’ll start using this as a meter for determining worthwhile individuals. Don’t worry, if you’re already my friend and you don’t enjoy Calvin and Hobbes, we can still hang out. I won’t stop being friends with you. After all, it’s just a comic strip, right? Wrong. That was just a test. Hopefully you passed.

09-04-11: A Friday

Word

candor [kan-der] n. 1. the state or quality of being frank, open, and sincere in speech or expression; candidness: The candor of the speech impressed the audience 2. freedom from bias; fairness; impartiality: to consider an issue with candor

Birthday

Anton Bruckner (1824), Mickey Cohen (1913), Henry Ford II (1917), Paul Harvey (1918), Forrest Carter (1925), Dick York (1928), Clive Granger (1934), Raymond Floyd (1942), Tom Watson (1949), Khandi Alexander (1957), David Drew Pinsky (Dr. Drew) (1958), Kim Thayil (1960), Damon Wayans (1960), Mike Piazza (1968), Dave Buchwald (1970), Ione Skye (1971), Beyoncé Knowles (1981)

Standpoint

With the return of the NFL season, we are inevitably going to be forced to face the dreaded return of NFL commentary and game announcing. Here are a few things that bug the shit out of me routinely on Sunday and Monday Night (and occasionally Thursday night).

Keys To The Game – Right before the kickoff of each and every game, the expert announcers rattle off something called the “Keys to the Game.” Usually, these “Keys” are the factors the entire production staff has figured out one team will need to do to win the game. Most of the time, it boils down to three bulletpoints that usually translate into (a) limiting the other team’s scoring to as much as possible, while on the other hand, (b) scoring as many points as possible, and (c) not taking stupid penalties. Concepts easily grasped by anyone who has a rudimentary understanding of how a competitive game actually works.

The On-Field Interview – Usually, some newbie sportscaster is relegated to the sidelines for the duration of the game. This person is usually asked, in whatever kind of weather, to comment on things like “the feel of the crowd,” or “the mood on the bench.” But the sideline reporter’s time to shine is definitely the on-field interview where he or she gets the opportunity to ask the coach, either right before the game or the second half starts, a supposedly poignant question like, “Coach, your team is down 42-7. What’s your strategy for the second half.” The coach will normally respond with something like, “Well, I had a talk with the guys during halftime and I think you’re going to see a different football team out there in the second half.” Translation? “Well, I went into the locker room and threatened everyone within an inch of their life and I’m pretty sure the entire team knows I’m absolutely serious about killing them and everyone they know if the other team scores one more fucking point. But, honestly, I gotta say I’m ecstatic you stopped me to chat. Besides picking you up over my head and throwing you as far as humanly possible, it’s difficult to conjure anything else I’d rather be doing right now.”

The In-The-Booth GuestMonday Night Football is the main culprit here. Whatever city the MNF game is in, some famous person gets scheduled to come up and chat about the game with the commentators. A nice idea. The only problem is that everyone involved in the conversation eventually gets wrapped up in whatever the hell it is they’re talking about and we get to hear Kiefer Sutherland talk about all intense action on the upcoming season of 24 while, on the field, some guy is breaking a 90-yard touchdown run.

Tony Siragusa“The Goose” can make even the most exciting game kind of suck. Waddling around the sidelines and making ill-informed, unfunny, random observations is apparently something you can get paid for. Even in this economy.

Quotation

Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane.Robert Brault

Tune

Brendan Benson has recently gained fame as part of the Jack White-led outfit The Raconteurs. But he’s been around for years, making outstanding music all by himself. His latest release, My Old, Familiar Friend, is no exception. Try “A Whole Lot Better.”

Gallimaufry

→ About seven years ago, poolside on some cruise ship, I read “Video-Game Character Wondering Why Heartless God Always Chooses ‘Continue'” and became convinced that The Onion was the funniest periodical of all time. I actually spit out my banana daquiri when I read, “But sometimes, like when I suicidally attack dozens of armed guards with only my bare hands, it seems that God is putting me through hell merely to amuse Himself. It just doesn’t make sense.” Trust me. It’s funny in context. Go read it if you don’t believe me.

→ To the depths of my core, I’m a huge Star Wars fan. I don’t go to conventions or sleep out for any kind of tickets, but it’s likely I know more about George Lucas‘ epic than you do. Geeky? Yes. Let’s move on. I’m no idiot. Nor am I blind or deaf. So I understand there are fundamental plot faults in everything, including my much beloved Star Wars. For more information on this topic, please read “7 Classic Star Wars Characters Who Totally Dropped The Ball.”

→ I’ve worked in the restaurant business my entire adult life and can testify that most of “Five Secrets Restaurants Don’t Want You to Know” is absolutely true. Except for the “Be Wary of Fish” part. Never once heard of that happening.

Tuesday – September 1st

After a month off, I’m back. Going to be tweaking this old blog quite a bit to get it where I know (deep down) it should be. I’ll be aggresively reshaping things and reworking sections. It may appear different from one day to the next as I attempt to find the perfect look and feel for your favorite blog. As usual, comments are always encouraged.

Word

 rubric[roo-brik] n. 1. a title, heading, direction, or the like, in a manuscript, book, statute, etc., written or printed in red or otherwise distinguished from the rest of the text 2. a direction for the conduct of divine service or the administration of the sacraments, inserted in liturgical books 3. any established mode of conduct or procedure; protocol 4. an explanatory comment; gloss 5. a class or category 6. Archaic. red ocher adj. 7. written, inscribed in, or marked with or as with red; rubrical 8. Archaic. red; ruddy

Birthday

 Engelbert Humperdinck (1854), Richard Farnsworth (1920), Rocky Marciano (1923), Art Pepper (1925), Boxcar Willie (1931), Ann W. Richards (1933), Conway Twitty (1933), Lily Tomlin (1939), Barry Gibb (1946), Dr. Phil McGraw (1950), Nicu Ceausescu (1951), Billy Blanks (1955), Gloria Estefan (1957), Kenny Mayne (1959), Bam Bam Bigelow (1961), Mohammed Atta (1968), Padma Lakshmi (1970), Jimmy Snuka Jr. (1971)

Standpoint

All right. While I was on my hiatus, my football team – The Philadelphia Eagles – signed ex-convict Michael Vick. Since I have been one of the biggest opponents of Vick‘s return to the NFL (not to mention society), I’m very much aware of the irony he’ll be wearing Eagles‘s green this autumn. Is it deplorable? Yes. Does it suck? Definitely. Can we do anything about it? Not at all. And, even if we could, it appears unlikely we even would.

Since the announcement of the signing, I’ve been listening to what everyone has to say on the issue (and it’s a lot), and whether an individual is completely outraged or just mildly annoyed by Vick coming to Philadelphia, it seems like everyone has he same plan for demonstrating their dismay. Not doing anything at all. For the record, posting anonymously on an internet message board or calling into a sports talk show does not qualify as taking a stand. Sorry.

According to official sources, “fewer than 10” season ticket holders have resigned and exactly none of the Eagles’ 44 corporate sponsors have withdrawn due to the Vick signing. So, while everyone with a working voice box was condemning Eagles’ management when it was announced and most fans were walking around staring incredulously at each other, asking the same question (“What the fuck?”), everything has returned to normal and I’m guessing Andy Reid and company knew that would be the case.

I still think Michael Vick is a disgusting excuse for a man, but now I’m looking at the rest of us and asking myself the same WTF question from above. Most likely, the reality is that we’ve become a bunch of gasbags who get animated and vocal about the things that bother us. Unfortunately, we’re not willing to do something as simple as depriving ourselves of watching a football game to try to force others to do the right thing.

Quotation

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.Henry David Thoreau

Tune

I’m in the middle of one of those phases I go through in which I try to find as much new music as humanly possible. So I’m listening to lots of stuff right now. Some good. Some not so much. One of the good I’ve come upon is Morning State – a band from Atlanta, GA. Check out “Oh Yeah.” (The YouTube video for this is weird, set to the opening of MST3K.) 

Gallimaufry

Check out my buddy John Sellers‘ piece – How Not To Behave On “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” – from TrueSlant.com. It’s funny because it’s true. Especially Rule 3.

Go on MyFOXPhilly.com and vote for RiverCrest Golf Club and Preserve in the category of Best Wedding Venue. You know. As a favor to me.

My good friend has started a new blog – Inspire Films and Television. Go take a visit and show him some love.

07.27.09 – Monday

Word: pique [peek] v. 1. to affect with sharp irritation and resentment, esp. by some wound to pride: She was greatly piqued when they refused her invitation 2. to wound (the pride, vanity, etc.) 3. to excite (interest, curiosity, etc.): Her curiosity was piqued by the gossip 4. to arouse an emotion or provoke to action: to pique someone to answer a challenge 5. Archaic. to pride (oneself) (usually fol. by on or upon) 6. to arouse pique in someone: an action that piqued when it was meant to soothe n. 7. a feeling of irritation or resentment, as from a wound to pride or self-esteem: to be in a pique 8. Obsolete. a state of irritated feeling between persons

Birthday: Samuel Smith (1752), Alexandre Dumas, fils (1824), Josef Priller (1915), Normal Lear (1922), Jerry Van Dyke (1931), John Pleshette (1942), Peggy Fleming (1948), Yahoo Serious (1953), Bill Engvall (1957), Karl Mueller (1962), Juliana Hatfield (1967), Triple H (1969), Maya Rudolph (1972), Pete Yorn (1974), Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez (1975), Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (1977)

Quotation: Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast.  People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what’s so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what’s so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there.  They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.Douglas Adams

Tune: Boston band Wheat has had one helluva journey. After independently releasing its first two albums Medeiros and Hope and Adams in the late 1990s, Columbia Records signed Wheat and, in 2003, released Per Second, Per Second, Per Second…Every Second, an album that included the radio-friendly hit “I Met a Girl.” It turned out to be one-and-done with Columbia, however, and the band went back to the drawing board. (I’ve heard from some that Wheat felt Per Second… was over-produced, and that may just be a good point.) Its next release, everyday i said a prayer for kathy and made a one square inch, was the result of what vocalist Scott Levesque called, “just 3 guys in a basement…kind of like the old days, for us, by us.” I think a lot of Wheat fans, myself included, were hoping for something a little less over-polished than the tracks on Per Second… but the band may have gone too far the other way – maybe it got a little too rough around the edges. A few weeks ago, Wheat may have released its finest album, White Ink, Black Ink, – a solid compromise of the smooth and the raw. It may be cliché, but after almost two decades, Wheat might’ve at last found their sound. Favorite song so far? “My Warning Song”

Gallimaufry: In reality, the Tour de France 2009 was only three weeks long. But it felt much much much longer than that (most likely because VS. aired it pretty much 24 hours-a-day and some of the guys I work with watched each stage 3 times daily) when it ended yesterday with Alberto Contador wearing the traditional yellow jersey of the overall winner. Not Lance Armstrong. The 37-year old cancer survivor, 7-time Tour de France champion and, most importantly, the guy who played himself during the lynchpin scene in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story that sent Vince Vaughn back to help his team win the championship, came in 3rd. Not too shabby but obviously not what everyone was hoping for. Some are saying Armstrong hurt his chances for an 8th win by helping Contador, his teammate, during different legs of the race. Fear not. Armstrong will be back next year (but not on the same team as Contador), and my advice would be to not bet against him. The guy has always been a master at doing the things people have told him were out of his reach. I’m going out on a very sturdy limb and predicting one last win for Armstrong in next year’s Tour, which I probably won’t watch. The Beastie Boys are cancelling all of its upcoming tour dates and pushing back the release of its upcoming album, Hot Sauce Committee Part 1, due to the fact MCA (real name Adam Yauch) has been diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his parotid gland. From the official press release of the band’s label EMI Music – “Luckily it was caught early and is localized in one area, and as such is considered very treatable. It will however require surgery and several weeks of additional treatment. Fortunately the cancer is not in a location that will affect Yauch’s vocal chords.” Here’s wishing Yauch a speedy recovery. If you follow the NFL and have a working brain (not necessarily a paradoxical statement, by the way), you’re most likely sick and tired of Brett Favre’s continuing indecision on whether or not to play with the Minnestota Vikings (a divisional rival of Favre‘s original team, the Green Bay Packers) this season. At this weekend’s Madden NFL 10 Pigskin Pro-Am, John Elway and Joe Montana, two guys who’ve been in similar shoes, each gave their own opinion of what Favre should do. I like Montana’s best – “If it was the first time he’s done it, it would be different. But we’ve seen it already, and here we go again. I’m sure that’s all [the Minnesota Vikings] are thinking about.” I’m pretty sure he was politely trying to tell Favre to – as my mother is sometimes known to say – “Shit or get off the pot!” At this point, all the vacillating on Favre’s part is only blemishing his amazing career and tarnishing the future Hall of Famer’s reputation. It’s only natural that, besides the thrill of playing the game, the withdraw from the spotlight is what depresses the athletes the most, but still. Come on, dude. Enough already.

07.22.09 – Wednesday

Word: ineffable [in-efuh-buhl] adj. 1. incapable of being expressed or described in words; inexpressible: ineffable joy 2. not to be spoken because of its sacredness; unutterable: the ineffable name of the deity

Birthday: Gaspard de Prony (1755), Emma Lazarus (1849), Edward Hopper (1882), Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy (1890), Bob Dole (1923), Oscar De la Renta (1932), Louise Fletcher (1934), Tom Robbins (1936), Terence Stamp (1938), Alex Trebek (1940), George Clinton (1941), Bobby Sherman (1943), Danny Glover (1946), Albert Brooks (1947), Don Henley (1947), S. E. Hinton (1950), Al Di Meola (1954), Willem Dafoe (1955), Keith Sweat (1961), Rob Estes (1963), John Leguizamo (1964), David Spade (1964), Keyshawn Johnson (1972), Rufus Wainwright (1973)

Quotation: There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us.  I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice.  The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.Bat Masterson

Tune: Oakland, California’s The Heavenly States made a song called “The Story Of” a few years back. According to my iPod, I listened to it over 300 times. The song is catchy. I remember reading somewhere The Heavenly States were the perfect fix for anyone who liked Dave Matthews Band but didn’t want their friends to know they actually liked DMB. I don’t see it. Maybe it has something to do with the fact both bands employ a violin in most of their songs.

Gallimaufry: Tyler Perry must be one helluva guy. After the disgraceful debacle at The Valley Club in Huntingdon Valley, PA last week, the playwright/TV series creator/screenwriter has decided the 65 children in the middle of it all need a vacation. So, what’s he doing? He’s sending them all to Disney World. “This is awful, and for anyone that has grown up in the inner-city, you know that one small act of kindness can change your life,” said Perry on his website. See? Sometimes people can be not shitty to each other. It’s hard to believe Michael Vick is only 29-years old. It seems like we’ve been hearing about the convicted dog-torturer for decades. Now that he’s completely free of any legal entanglements, Vick’s looking to get back into the NFL. But commissioner Roger Goodell isn’t committed to making any decisions anytime soon. Not even about if he’ll be making any decisions anytime soon. I, for one, would be pleased if I never again saw Vick in a football uniform again. But my gut tells me I will, and it will most likely be of the Dallas Cowboys variety. “The desire is there; that’s one component. The other component is opportunity.” That’s Alec Baldwin telling Playboy Magazine he’s maybe considering running for political office. I’m reasonably sure it’s only a matter of time before we turn all of our celebrities into politicians. It just seems to be where we’re headed.