March 22nd, 2012

Think I’ve figured out this linking thing.

word

conniption [kuhnip-shuhn] n. Informal. a fit of hysterical excitement or anger

birthday

Pat Robertson (1930), Stephen Sondheim (1930), William Shatner (1931), Wolf Blitzer (1948), Andrew Lloyd Webber (1948), Bob Costas (1952), Reese Witherspoon (1976)

standpoint

As everyone knew he would be, Tim Tebow is done with the Denver Broncos. Yesterday, after many hours of oddly public negotiations, the New York Jets acquired the most talked-about athlete of the last eight months.

When the Broncos signed Peyton Manning earlier this week, many thought it signaled the end of the line for Tebow. He’d be shipped off somewhere to finish up whatever was left of his NFL career in relative obscurity.

Tebowmania is headed to New York City to compete for the public’s eye with Linsanity, Derek Jeter, and, oh yeah, the other football team that resides there, the current Super Bowl champions, the New York Giants.

Tebow will now have to exist in a locker room full of thugs who, by all accounts, hate each other. And those guys will look like teddy bears in contrast to the New York fans who legitimately expect every one of their sports teams to win a championship every year even though they’ve got at least two squads in each sport. They’re New Yorkers, they’re not concerned with trivial shit like mathematics.

It’s going to be a great, gigantic mess. I can’t envision a happy ending. And, of course, I’ll be glued to it.

quotation

The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one in perspective. ↔ Robert Brault

tune

OK Go may not create the best songs in the world but when it comes to videos, they’re without equal. Here’s their latest one, “Needing/Getting.”

gallimaufry

→ The latest addiction in gaming apps? Hands down, it’s Draw Something.

→ I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell does not mess around. Seriously, he’s not to be trifled with.

Rick Santorum, please go away.

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03.04.10 – A Thursday

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word

plethora [pleth-er-uh] n. 1. overabundance; excess: a plethora of advice and a paucity of assistance 2. Pathology Archaic. a morbid condition due to excess of red corpuscles in the blood or increase in the quantity of blood

birthday

Antonio Vivaldi (1678), David “Robber” Lewis (1790), Channing Pollock (1880), Knute Rockne (1888), Shemp Howard (1895), John Garfield (1913), Paul Mauriat (1925), Gloria Gaither (1942), Bobby Womack (1944), James Ellroy (1948), Catherine O’Hara (1954), Patricia Heaton (1958), Steven Weber (1961), Evan Dando (1967), Chastity Bono (1969), Buck 65 (1972), Jon Fratelli (1979)

standpoint

I know. Excuses. I’m full of them. But I’ve been looking forward to watching some NHL and there were more than a few games on last night and, well, you know what happened. Plus, I’m trying to get better sleep lately and all that crap. But, I promise, there will be a new Standpoint tomorrow. I’d stake my fortune on it.

quotation

Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.Mary Ellen Kelly

tune

As the story goes, Conrad O. Johnson, the music teacher at Kashmere High School in Houston TX, went to an Otis Redding concert one night back in 1967. The next day, he decided to transform the style of his music program and – bam – that’s how the Kashmere Stage Band came to be.

gallimaufry

As much as I have a low opinion of Pittsburgh Penguins‘ superstar Sidney Crosby, it sucks when something like this happens. Seriously, people, have a little respect. This, however, is a demonstration on how Canadians can get a little too jacked for hockey. Settle down, will ya?

Dallas Cowboys owner/meddler Jerry Jones is a gigantic douchebag. I know it. You know it. And, apparently, New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton knows it. Very nice job. I’m sure Payton meant the whole thing in fun but, still.

→ People are getting dumber. Especially when it comes to their kids. Seriously. I’d venture to say that 90% of parents under 40 are complete and utter morons. That number may be wrong, but, based on my exposure to this problem, I don’t think so.

02.08.10 – A Monday

word

ebullient [i-buhl-yuhnt, i-bool-] adj. 1. overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement; high-spirited: The award winner was in an ebullient mood at the dinner in her honor 2. bubbling up like a boiling liquid

birthday

Samuel Butler (1612), John Ruskin (1819), William Tecumseh Sherman (1820), Jules Verne (1828), Kate Chopin (1850), Lana Turner (1921), Jack Lemmon (1925), Neal Cassady (1926), James Dean (1931), John Williams (1932), Ted Koppel (1940), Nick Nolte (1941), Robert Klein (1942), Mary Steenburgen (1953), John Grisham (1955), Vince Neil (1961), Joshua Kadison (1963), Gary Coleman (1968), Mary McCormack (1969), Seth Green (1974)

standpoint

I’m a football fan but not a huge one. I halfheartedly participate in two (2) fantasy leagues and have a moderate interest in my hometown Philadelphia Eagles, but I’m much less emotionally invested in the NFL than I let on. Most years, I watch the Super Bowl more out of some misplaced obligation to some archaic sense of manhood. But I didn’t feel the same way this year. I actually had a mildly strong desire to watch last night because I like both the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints, along with their respective quarterbacks, Peyton Manning and Drew Brees.

But I was curious to see how Super Bowl XLIV would be a different experience for me. And, lucky for you, I chronicled it. Here goes.

Note: I was reasonably sure that the Colts would win and cover the spread (+5.5) and the over (57 pts.) would become a matter of fact.

Pregame

» Not going to lie, I watched golf until just about the start of the game so I didn’t get to see what inane crap led up to the actual footage from Miami.

» But I did tune in time to see the Colts get introduced onto the field to the same song by The Who that opens up every episode of CSI:Miami, which turned out to be all of The Who I needed.

» Queen Latifah sang America The Beautiful with a choir and musical accompaniment. It didn’t really work all that well. Looked like she was never really in sync. Carrie Underwood sang The Star-Spangled Banner and it was better. During all this, cameras were on Peyton Manning, who looked amped to the point he was cursing the fact Francis Scott Key and Katharine Bates were ever born.

» The next class of inductees to the Pro Football Hall of Fame were introduced as honorary whatevers to the coin toss. Emmitt Smith was the honorary coin tosser. Saints called heads. Smith flipped the coin directly at the Saints players, who sidestepped it. It was heads. Saints got the ball.

1st Quarter – 6:20(ish) PM

» Betty White and Abe Vigoda starred in a clever ad for Snickers. I’m completely sure those two actors were used because about 99% of viewers thought both had died years ago.

» The ad for the Boost Mobile Shuffle, featuring prominent members of the 1985 Super Bowl Champion Chicago Bears, was awful.

» In keeping with Hollywood’s trend of recycling, there’s another Robin Hood movie coming out starring Russell Crowe. Looks like both Braveheart and Gladiator ate a bunch of bows and arrows and vomited on each other. I’ll probably go see it.

» First quarter came to a close. Colts-10. Saints-0. I wasn’t paying much attention to the actual game.

2nd Quarter – 7:00 PM

» Pretty fast 1st quarter. At this point, I was certain the Colts were going to run away with the game.

» A Cars.com ad came on, detailing the life of a boy genius type doing all sorts of amazing boy genius type stuff. But when it came time to buy a car, he was at a loss. He looked to his mobile device for answers and, you guessed it, Cars.com came to the rescue. At one point during the ad, the boy genius delivered a baby Bengal tiger while on safari. That kicked off a conversation between my girlfriend and I where we discussed her desire to bring a baby panther into the apartment. Negotiations reached a stalemate after she refused to budge on the name of the baby panther. Oh well.

» The Saints began to make a game of it. Pretty sure they kicked a field goal.

» One ad had Jay Leno, Oprah Winfrey and David Letterman on the same couch talking about something. I’m not sure what because I was distracted. Leno didn’t look like he was actually there. The next ad (maybe) had Brett Favre making fun of the fact he never actually retires. I like it when celebrities/athletes know to do that.

» The Colts stopped the Saints on a 4th and goal from the 1-yard line with less than 2 minutes remaining in the half. See? I pay mind to the important stuff.

» I wasn’t quite sure how it happened but the Saints kick another field goal just as time expires on the 1st half. Colts – 10. Saints – 6.

Halftime – 7:50 PM

» The Who played. The Who sucked. I monitored Twitter feeds instead. Best Tweet? “Wake up your great grandma. The Who is on.”

3rd Quarter – 8:22 PM

» The Saints began the 2nd half with an onside kick. Which they recovered. Which turned out to be huge. Saints – 13. Colts – 10.

» According to a new Volkswagen ad, the classic car game, Punch Buggy, has now been expanded to include the entire Volkswagen fleet. As a matter of fact, it seems whatever substance it’s painting its cars with nowadays is so cutting edge, even Stevie Wonder can see it. Much to the chagrin of an arm sore Tracy Morgan. Classic.

» The Colts’ Joseph Addai ran in for a touchdown. Colts – 17. Saints – 13. I was a little disappointed about how good of a game it was becoming. I’m not used to the Super Bowl being about the Super Bowl. Not being able to run out of the room in between commercials was messing with my head.

» Two commercials gave me pause in different ways. First, the new E*TRADE baby wasn’t half as funny as the original. Second, Google aired its first ever television ad. I think.

» The Saints kicked another field goal which flew under my radar. End of the 3rd quarter. Colts – 17. Saints – 16.

4th Quarter – 8:56 PM

» Honestly, I should’ve been playing closer attention. The Saints started scoring. They took the lead. They intercepted a very important Peyton Manning pass at a crucial time. I watched the whole thing. I swear. But, as happens more than not, I became embroiled in a debate that made the game take a backseat.

» Super Bowl XLIV ended at 9:45 PM. The New Orleans Saints beat the Indianapolis Colts by the score of 31-17. If I bet the game the way I thought it would go, I would’ve been dead wrong. Yet another reason why I’m not a gambling man.

Overall, a most exhilarating football contest. The best Super Bowl in years. Congrats, New Orleans. Call me when you’re done partying. That should be around June.

quotation

Everybody gets told to write about what they know. The trouble with many of us is that at the earlier stages of life we think we know everything- or to put it more usefully, we are often unaware of the scope and structure of our ignorance.Thomas Pynchon

tune

One band from the 80s that doesn’t get enough credit is The Housemartins. I like to think of them as a sort of catchier version of  The Smiths. Also, they’ve got one of the best titled songs ever – “The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death.” Actually, after just listening to it, it seems to work nowadays as well.

gallimaufry

→ I just got done reading King of Russia: A Year in the Russian Super League, and it was simple and great. Former NHL head coach and current Phoenix Coyotes assistant coach Dave King narrates his experiences as the first ever Canadian coach in Russia. The guy really knows his stuff and he provides great insight into Russian hockey and its players, especially Pittsburgh Penguins superstar Evgeny Malkin.

→ Speaking of the Pittsburgh Penguins, yesterday afternoon’s game between them and the Washington Capitals was just about as complete as you could ask for. Caps won it in overtime 5-4 after being down 4-2 going into the third period.

01.25.10 – A Monday

WORD

skulduggery [skuhl-duhguh-ree] n. 1. dishonorable proceedings; mean dishonesty or trickery: bribery, graft, and other such skulduggery 2. an instance of dishonest or deceitful behavior; trick

BIRTHDAY

William Cavendish (1640), Robert Burns (1759), W. Somerset Maugham (1874), Virginia Woolf (1882), Antônio Carlos Jobim (1927), Etta James (1938), Steve Prefontaine (1951), The Honky Tonk Man (1953), Stephen Chbosky (1970), Dat Phan (1975), Alicia Keys (1981)

STANDPOINT

The New Orleans Saints will face off against the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLIV.

And people will bitch about that because, let’s face it, bitching about everything is just about all we do anymore. But I like the matchup because, for the first time I can remember, both teams earned the right to be there.

That bothers most people because there’s less of a storyline. If the New York Jets had beaten the Colts, sportswriters would’ve had a field day with many underdog stories that would most assuredly prominently featured the word “scrappy.” If the Minnesota Vikings had beaten the Saints, there would’ve been an onslaught of conjecture about whether this would be Brett Favre‘s last chance to once again win it all.

But neither of those things happened. The two teams that went undefeated for the better part of the regular season are going to meet to see who’s best. That’s the way it should be because it makes this year’s Super Bowl much more meaningful. But the build up before is lessened because what was supposed to happen actually came true. No scrappy underdogs. No fading legend taking his last stab at ultimate glory. No added drama.

Just the two best football teams squaring off against each other. It’s sad that, for most of us, that’s not nearly enough.

QUOTATION

Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn’t work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos.Charles M. Schultz

TUNE

Sometimes, I’ve trouble understanding why a song that’s really kind of fucking great isn’t included on a band’s album. Case in point? “Sightlines” by Rogue Wave. It appears on the Spider-Man 3 Soundtrack. How in the world did it not make the cut? In any case, you can click on the “Sightlines” link above and download the song from the band’s website.

GALLIMAUFRY

If you live in California, I seriously suggest you read all about “Frankenstorm.” If it is possible, it’s pretty fucking dire.

→ Late at night, my girlfriend makes me watch Roseanne. A lot. And while I gripe about it from time to time, I secretly like the show. (Not so much of a secret now, I guess.) Roseanne Barr was at her least annoying and John Goodman was, well, really good. Man.

→ My buddy Anthony SanFilippo covers the Philadelphia Flyers for The Delaware County Daily Times and he does it extremely well. One of his latest pieces on former Flyer R. J. Umberger shines a light on Anthony’s true love for the game of hockey as well as Umberger’s outstanding character. If you’re a Flyers’ fan, you should be reading Anthony’s column often. And, for the record, I’m singing his praises despite the fact he trounced me this past week in our fantasy hockey league.

01.18.10 – A Monday

WORD

pabulum [pab-yuh-luhm] n. 1. something that nourishes an animal or vegetable organism; food; nutriment 2. material for intellectual nourishment

BIRTHDAY

Montesquieu (1689), Daniel Webster (1782), Thomas Watson (1854), A. A. Milne (1882), Cary Grant (1904), Danny Kaye (1913), Ray Dolby (1933), David Ruffin (1941), Kevin Costner (1955), Mark Messier (1961), Dave Attell (1965), Jesse L. Martin (1969), Joanna Newsom (1982), Seung-Hui Cho (1984)

STANDPOINT

While I type this, NBC and Conan O’Brien are said to be close to a deal that will end the O’Brien’s stint as host of The Tonight Show after a mere seven months.

The complete failure of Jay Leno’s nightly 10pm show on NBC caused the network to move the 60-year old back to his original time slot of 11:35pm, leaving no place for O’Brien.

Everyone’s talking about it and there’s really nothing new to say on the issue but I’d like to encourage everyone who reads this blog to boycott Leno from here on out, in whatever forum the dipshit appears. It’s a heartless thing he’d doing here, not to mention meaningless.

Is NBC expecting everyone to watch Leno just because? Old people will probably go back to watching Leno because most old people, from as much as I can tell, like the kind of dopey crap he presents.

O’Brien will land on his feet. FOX is very interested in talking to him. Plus, he’s probably going to get somewhere near $40 million for his trouble. But still, NBC and Leno should be kneecapped for what’s gone on.

QUOTATION

Everything is handed to society now. Before, you had to dig for it. I like that — digging for it.Al Green

TUNE

In my head, I’ve a list of ten songs of which I will never tire. R.E.M.‘s “The Great Beyond” is one of them. Maybe number three on that list. I’m not sure.

GALLIMAUFRY

My dream of a New Orleans SaintsSan Diego Chargers Super Bowl was destroyed yesterday as the New York Jets (that’s right) beat Philip Rivers and crew in a surprising 17-14 upset. Let’s go, Saints!

→ Dear Mark McGwire, please shut the fuck up. We all know you did steroids. We all know you are now admitting it so that you can get a job in baseball. We all know that you’re a disgrace to athletes everywhere. We get it. Go away.

→ In a shocking development, MTV is actually producing a show featuring (I hope you’re sitting down) – MUSIC! Vampire Weekend did an episode of MTV Unplugged. And there wasn’t even a cameo by the cast of Jersey Shore.