November 23, 2011

word

bibliophage [bib-lee-uh-feyj] n. an ardent reader; a bookworm

birthday

William H. “Billy the Kid” Bonney (1859) (most likely inaccurate), Boris Karloff (1887), Harpo Marx (1888), Bruce Hornsby (1954), Chris Hardwick (1971), Miley Cyrus (1992)

standpoint

I’ve watched a lot of movies. And when it comes to movies there’s about a million lists out there of the best this and the worst that and what have you. But one list that’s mostly overlooked is The Biggest Assholes in Movie History. Sure there are a few out there but it’s largely an explored area. So I thought I would weigh in on this topic that is obviously in dire need of address. So here’s my list…so far.

Justin Timberlake as Sean Parker in The Social Network – Usually, Timberlake does his best to look squeaky clean in his cinematic endeavors but I gotta respect the guy for taking this role and doing a great job with it.

Hart Bochner as Harry Ellis in Die Hard – Ok, I know he’s more comic relief than serious asshole but the guy exemplifies every douchebag in the 80s. (Side note: I had no Bochner directed PCU until I had to look him up for this post.)

Matt Damon as Charlie Dillon in School Ties – If you can watch this movie and not want to punch real-life Matt Damon in the face, you’ve got ice water running through your veins.

Gene Hackman as John Herod in The Quick and The Dead – This clip doesn’t really reveal the extent of what a gigantic shithead Hackman plays in this movie but it’s the best scene so I thought I would include it.

William Atherton as Walter Peck in Ghostbusters – Atherton might be a very nice guy in real life but he will always be known for being one of the biggest assholes to ever grace the screen. I could’ve also cited him for Die Hard or Real Genius.

So that’s that. Feel free to comment if you think there are any I’ve overlooked.

quotation

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ↔ Jon Stewart

tune

Here’s the thing about The Muppets: They’re fucking awesome. Even though, they’re not technically members of the human race, they sum up everything great about it. They always assume the best about whatever situation they find themselves in. But they’re also incredibly sarcastic and, at times, they do actually get angry. But, in the end, they always forgive. I love this clip of Jason Segel’s SNL monologue from this past Saturday. (Sorry, you’re going to have to clip on the link. It wouldn’t embed properly.)

gallimaufry

→ Last night, CNN aired the GOP National Security Debate. I listened to most of it as I was preparing this post. When is the GOP going to realize it is doing itself absolutely no service by holding all of these debates? It’s become comical. My favorite part was when Herman Cain addressed Wolf Blitzer as “Blitz.” Here’s an article on some of the other gaffes from last night’s hi-jinks.

→ I know I’m probably beating this to death but what else is new? Yesterday, on 97.5 The Fanatic, Mike Missanelli interviewed Eric Lindros and John LeClair. During the interview, they discussed their latest charity efforts with CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia), what it was like to play with each other, Lindros’ feelings about his return to the city that shunned him and lots of other stuff.

→ I won’t be posting again until sometime next week. Happy Thanksgiving!

02.18.11 – a friday

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word

weltanschauung [velt-ahn-shou-oong] n. a comprehensive conception or image of the universe and of humanity’s relation to it

birthday

Louis Comfort Tiffany (1848), André Breton (1896), Jack Palance (1919), George Kennedy (1925), Toni Morrison (1931), Yoko Ono (1933), Dennis DeYoung (1947), Gary Ridgway (1949), John Hughes (1950), Cybill Shepherd (1950), Juice Newton (1952), John Travolta (1954), Vanna White (1957), Matt Dillon (1964), Dr. Dre (1965), Molly Ringwald (1968), Jillian Michaels (1974), Regina Spektor (1980)

standpoint

Since the updates weren’t working earlier this week when I asked for topics you all would like to see me write about, I’m going to ask again.

What’s bugging you? What problems do you think are out there?

Let me know and we’ll hash them out. Email me at eunejeune@gmail.com

quotation

Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. ↔ R. Buckminster Fuller

tune

Yesterday, after years of hardly ever doing so, I decided to listen to the radio. The problem with most Philadelphia radio is the problem with most Philadelphia media: It’s a mostly bland experience. 88.5 WXPN is one of the few exceptions. Here’s a song I’m digging right now and would’ve never heard without WXPN – Alvin Cash & The Crawlers‘ “Twine Time.”

gallimaufry

Add geomagnetic storms to the list of crap we need to worry about. Does anyone else feel like the more we understand about our surroundings, the more we discover seriously scary shit?

→ If you don’t think Archer is one of the most hilarious television shows ever, I don’t know how to help you.

→ All right, who didn’t see this coming? Here’s a video of Miley Cyrus smoking a bong at her 18th birthday party. Apparently, it wasn’t marijuana but salvia, a psychoactive herb. Who cares what’s in the bong? Why is Bush playing in the background?

12.11.09 – A Friday

WORD

mortify [mawr-tuh-fahy] v. (used w/ object) 1. to humiliate or shame, as by injury to one’s pride or self-respect 2. to subjugate (the body, passions, etc.) by abstinence, ascetic discipline, or self-inflicted suffering 3. Pathology. to affect with gangrene or necrosis v. (used w/o object) 4. to practice mortification or disciplinary austerities 5. Pathology. to undergo mortification; become gangrened or necrosed

Note: I am giving the definition of “mortify” because it has been brought to my attention it’s used wrong pretty much all of the time. I have to admit, I learned something new today.

BIRTHDAY

John Labatt (1838), Carlo Ponti (1912), Big Mama Thornton (1926), Rita Moreno (1931), McCoy Tyner (1938), Donna Mills (1942), John Kerry (1943), Brenda Lee (1944), Teri Garr (1947), Bess Armstrong (1953), Jermaine Jackson (1954), Nikki Sixx (1958), Jon Brion (1963), Mo’Nique (1967), Mos Def (1973)

STANDPOINT

This Tiger Woods scandal. Christ.

Thousands of unanswerable questions seem to be flooding the news hourly. None are getting answered.

The facts (maybe) are: (a) At 2am the morning after Thanksgiving, Tiger got into his car and drove into a fire hydrant and then a tree, both within walking distance of his home. (b) His wife reportedly saved him by smashing one of the back windows with a golf club. (c) Tiger didn’t really want to talk about the whole thing, instead he took to dodging police inquiries and issuing vague statements on his website. (d) At least a dozen women jumped out of the woodwork, feeling the sudden urge to tell the world about their sexual misconduct with Woods. (e) Tiger’s mother-in-law was admitted to the hospital with stomach pains that probably had something to do with her son-in-law sleeping with lots of women who were not her daughter. (f) Tiger Woods’ life, no matter how this all plays out, is fucked.

And that sucks for him but he was having sex with hostesses, waitresses and porn stars. Difficult to feel bad for the guy. Difficult, but not implausible. I mean, getting caught for one transgression must be a pretty shitty ordeal. But to get caught having mulitple affairs with at least ten different women within the span of several days? Well, I’m not even sure Bill Clinton could shuck and jive his way clear of something like that.

There is one question, however, I would like answered: Whatever Tiger has done or not done, what’s the difference? How’s it going to change my life?

Sure, it’s interesting to bemoan the current state of a society which seems to (a) shrug its collective shoulders when yet another of its heroes are found to be flawed, and (b) be running out of respectable authority figures and celebrities. We’ve adapted a very another-one-bites-the-dust mentality. Everyone’s rather concerned but no one wholly cares.

There are those overly curious about a situation in which a man who seemingly had everything he could ever want, managed to blunder this bad. People are demanding the truth, soapboxing on the notion we all deserve to know. As usual, the American people want to get down to the bottom of a situation in the interest of mainly being able to say, “I hate my life, but I imagine I’d rather be me than Tiger right now.” It’s always amazed me how determined people are to reveal how fucked up everyone else is.

It’s not like any of it matters.  Woods is under absolutely no obligation to disclose more than he wants. He’s not a politician. He’s broken no laws. In reality, he could pack all ten women he’s been sleeping with into his Cadillac and drive into ten trees. Unless, he’s charged with some sort of crime, he doesn’t have to justify anything. Oh. In addition, he’s also the first billion-dollar athlete, so if O.J. Simpson can kill two people and amble freely out of an actual courtroom, Woods’ gigantic gobs of money will guarantee a night of careless driving and a few years of bad decisions won’t stop him from ambling equally free out the courtroom of public opinion.

Plus, in a few months, possibly a few weeks, everyone will have moved on to the next thing. And I don’t blame it on short memory. Everyone says that and it’s bullshit. The real reason everyone’ll forget about this by the next time Woods steps onto some nationally-televised first tee is once the outrage lessens a bit, most people will start making excuses for Tiger Woods because the execrable things he’s done to his undeserving family will have grown far less significant than the idea of a PGA season without Tiger Woods.

Note: During my research and reading for the above rant, I encountered this piece. As far as I’m concerned, Tiger Woods can do whatever the hell he wants. As long as Glenn Beck is around, everyone else gets a pass.

QUOTATION

The typical gambler might not really understand the probabilistic nuances of the wheel or the dice, but such things seem a bit more tractable than, say, trying to raise a child in this lunatic society of ours.Arthur S. Reber

TUNE

 Yesterday, I hit up my favorite music store, Main Street Music in Manayunk. (One of the best music shops of all-time, by the way. If you can get there, I highly recommend it.) Anyway, I bought a couple albums. One of them was People Are Soft by local Philadelphia band, The Swimmers. I like the whole album a lot. Go buy it and support your local music scene. Favorite track so far? “Nervous Wreck.”

GALLIMAUFRY

→ For all of out there who wish you could get rid of Facebook forever, there’s now an option. Seppukoo.com is ready to assist you with your virtual suicide. Click here to see how it works.

→ There’s many arguments I can tolerate listening to, no matter how completely wrong they are. But I refuse to hear anyone out who’s not entirely convinced Ted Knight didn’t steal the show in Caddyshack. I know. There are argument to be made for Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and Rodney Dangerfield. But without Judge Smails (link is a small collection of wavs), it would’ve been a lesser film. Still good. Just not as good.  

→ Do you desire with all your heart to have a chihuahua? All you have to do is get on a plane to California, where the little dogs have become an essential purse accessory to the likes of Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus and a slew of other people who don’t really matter. Animal shelters across the state are reporting chihuahuas make up close to 30% of its inhabitants. Seems even idiots are capable of grasping the notion that, after they take it out of their purse, the dog wants to do all kinds of annoying crap like eat and be taken for a walk.