04.06.10 – A Tuesday

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word

sojourn [n. soh-jurn; v. soh-jurn, soh-jurn] n. 1. a temporary stay: during his sojourn in Paris v. 2. to stay for a time in a place; live temporarily: to sojourn on the Riviera for two months

birthday

Raphael (1483), Jean-Baptiste Rousseau (1671), Pasquale Paoli (1725), James Mill (1773), Gerry Mulligan (1927), Merle Haggard (1937), Billy Dee Williams (1937), Barry Levinson (1942), John Ratzenberger (1947), Marilu Henner (1952), Michael Rooker (1955), John Pizzarelli (1960), Frank Black (1965), Jonathan Firth (1967), Paul Rudd (1969), Zach Braff (1975), Candace Cameron (1976)

standpoint

Ah, the end of an era. Capitulating to the wishes of the majority of its fans, the Philadelphia Eagles finally traded longtime quarterback Donovan McNabb to the Washington Redskins for a second-round draft pick this year and a conditional one next year.

True to their nature, Philadelphia sports enthusiasts, given exactly what they wanted, began to grumble. Did the Eagles get enough for McNabb? Will Kevin Kolb be the starter some think he can be or will he be the next Bobby Hoying? Why would the two teams make the deal on the eve of MLB’s Opening Day, one when the two cities’ baseball counterparts, the Philadelphia Phillies and the Washington Nationals, were set to square off?

People, please shut the hell up. From the start, you griped about the poor guy for eleven straight years. When he was chosen ahead of running back Ricky Williams at the draft, Eagles’ “fans” in attendance booed him. And, instead of buckling under the criticism, McNabb simply led the Eagles to five NFC Championships and one Super Bowl appearance. Just in case you’re slow, I’ll elaborate. That means during roughly half of his tenure in Philadelphia, the Eagles were at least the fourth best team in the NFL. They made the playoffs eight of those eleven years. In total, he’s won 92 games and is third on the list of current quarterbacks with a .651 winning percentage, wedged in between Peyton Manning and Brett Favre. It’s hard to imagine how much more all of you spectacular would’ve hated him if he actually did suck.

And now, Eagles fans, you have Kevin Kolb and you’ve no choice but to be happy with him. But, let’s face it, if Kolb comes out and has a bad start to the season, you’ll all be screaming for Michael Vick to come in and save the day. And if he doesn’t get it done, you’ll be asking for some other poor schmuck to give you the Super Bowl ring you desperately need to validate all those pathetically wasted Sundays, sitting on your couch wearing your “DAWKINS” jersey and begging anyone in earshot to answer the question, “Why doesn’t Reid run the ball more?” I hope Kolb gets it done. He seems like a quality fellow. But his stomach for bullshit is about to get tested. If the guy he’s replacing was only outmatched in terms of wins in the past decade by Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, and still deemed a shitty quarterback, what chance does Kolb stand? Is he going to be better than Brady or Manning? Not likely.

And, please, let’s not lament the terms of the trade. It’s ironic all you sports gurus claimed McNabb was junk on a daily basis, and now you’re the same nitwits who are bitching the Eagles didn’t get enough for him. It’s one or the other, people. Pick a side and stay on it for once, you wishy-washy nutjobs.

As for the timing of the trade and the fact it coincided with the first day of baseball, please give me a break. I’m not the most business-oriented of minds but even I understand the McNabb trade was a business deal, conducted between two businesses. There was millions of dollars at stake. When would’ve been a suitable time to make the trade? After the baseball season? Ridiculous.

By the tone of this rant, I hope it’s obvious that, while I don’t hate the NFL, I don’t have much respect for a lot of the people who play it and even less who make it their life’s devotion. But I do have respect for Donovan McNabb because he’s always been the underdog, even when he squarely didn’t deserve the role. Next season, I’ll be pulling for him. Even when he plays the Eagles. Because there’s nothing I like better when one guy proves a million idiots wrong.

quotation

It takes a kind of shabby arrogance to survive in our time, and a fairly romantic nature to want to. Edgar Z. Freidenberg

tune

Normally, I’d proffer there’s too many videos on YouTube made by people with nothing better to do. But in this instance, I’ll need to back down from that stance. A montage of The Office set to Ben Folds‘ “There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You” is located directly in my wheelhouse. And it should be in yours, too.

gallimaufry

→ I think our country is fantastic. This shitball church changed the wording of their sign when faced with proper political pressure. I’m going to speak more on this tomorrow but, for the time being, I hope everyone reading this understands our nation is in serious trouble.

How funny is this? Does this company have meetings? Wouldn’t it stand to reason at least one person present would say, “Wait, I’m not sure but I think someone told me lead paint is apparently bad for you now.”

→ On Philadelphia’s latest decision to relax about pot, District Attorney Seth Williams said, “We can’t declare a war on drugs by going after the kid who’s smoking a joint on 55th Street.” In an unrelated development, 55th Street property values are skyrocketing.

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01.22.10 – A Friday

WORD

perfunctory [per-fuhngk-tuh-ree] adj. 1. performed merely as a routine duty; hasty and superficial: perfunctory courtesy 2. lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent or apathetic: In his lectures he reveals himself to be merely a perfunctory speaker

BIRTHDAY

Francis Bacon (1561), Grigori Rasputin (1869), Sam Cooke (1931), Piper Laurie (1932), Bill Bixby (1934), Seymour Cassel (1935), John Hurt (1940), Steve Perry (1949), Jim Jarmusch (1953), Linda Blair (1959), Michael Hutchence (1960), Daniel Johnston (1961), DJ Jazzy Jeff (1965), Diane Lane (1965), Olivia d’Abo (1969), Balthazar Getty (1975)

STANDPOINT

On my first blog, I used to a regular post called The Wishing Well. Basically, I would state five wishes, about any topic I wished. I enjoyed doing The Wishing Well. And so, I’m reviving it here. Enjoy.

I WISH I knew why the top search engine term driving traffic to this blog was “Marilu Henner.” The redheaded actress, probably best known for her work on the (awesome) sitcom Taxi and the (equally awesome) film Johnny Dangerously, has contributed 277 hits to this blog. I mentioned her one time in the “Birthday” section. Either Henner is much more popular that I thought, or someone out there likes her waaaaay too much.

I WISH I could tell you many white people, during this past holiday season, came into my bar and wished me a “Happy Kwanzaa.” Probably almost a hundred, each more annoying and tasteless than the next.

I WISH for NBA officials to seriously reexamine the league’s All Star Game selection process. I like Allen Iverson but how in the world is the guy starting? He has no reason to even be on the team. But then again, what the hell do I care about the NBA?

I WISH the rumor about Jersey Shore coming to Sea Isle City for its second season was actually true. As small as that town is, the congestion generated from all the douchebags overrunning it would make for some interesting story lines. Plus, it would be fun to watch how many more fights the cast members would get into with the Sea Isle population. I’d give the guys on that show a 35% percent chance of making it through the entire summer.

I WISH Tiger Woods all the best while getting treatment for “sexual addiction.” No I don’t. What a bunch of horseshit. Q: How many famous guys with money are out there doing exactly what Tiger was doing? A: Most all of them.

QUOTATION

Oil is sixty dollars a barrel. There are terrorists everywhere. We have a catastrophe in our world every ten minutes. I don’t know how anybody’s getting through anything. Right now, people just need to be entertained. Bob Saget

TUNE

A while back, I was told to download “Penn Station” by The Felice Brothers. The other night, I finally did just that. I immediately wished I’d done it much sooner. Thanks, Brendan.

GALLIMAUFRY

My buddy (and biggest fan) Joe Taylor sent me this awesome John Hughes montage from YouTube yesterday. Check it out.

→ Beer snobs around the world are fretting right now. It seems Belgium might be running out of beer.

→ Holy Shit. Those were the only words that came to mind after reading this article about some dipshit who’s forming an all-white basketball league in Georgia. Christ.

04.06.09 – Monday

Word: antediluvian [an-tee-di-loo-vee-uhn] adj. 1. of or belonging to the period before The Flood, Gen. 7.8 2. very old, old-fashioned or out of date; antiquated; primitive: antediluvian ideas

 

Birthday: Raphael (1483), Jean-Baptiste Rousseau (1671), Pasquale Paoli (1725), Merle Haggard (1937), Billy Dee Williams (1937), Barry Levinson (1942), John Ratzenberger (1947), Marilu Henner (1952), Michael Rooker (1957), Frank Black (1965), Sterling Sharpe (1965), Paul Rudd (1969), Zach Braff (1975), Candace Cameron (1976)

 

Occurrence: 1973 – The American League of Major League Baseball initiates the Designated Hitter rule.

 

Standpoint: Last fall, the Philadelphia Phillies won The World Series and the entire city let out a collective, “Finally!” There were peaceful impromptu parades down Broad Street. Across the City of Brotherly Love, people who ordinarily wouldn’t talk to each other were embracing like long-lost brothers. Even I broke my “no high-five” rule and slapped hands with countless strangers. Then the official parade and the ensuing ceremony at Citizens Bank Park where Chase Utley declared his team, “World Fuckin’ Champions.” Few cared that the second basemen cursed in front of millions of children. After all, he was just speaking the truth. Hope blanketed the city. Could the Eagles build off the momentum and win The Super Bowl? Turns out they couldn’t. The Sixers? Gonna make the NBA playoffs but expectations are realistically low. The Flyers? One of the most promising young hockey teams in NHL but hardly anyone cares. So, who’s next? It’s all back on the Phillies, of course. Last night, they opened the MLB season with a home game against the Atlanta Braves who hit three home runs in the first two innings, coasting to a relatively easy 4-1 win. It left me wondering about what will happen if the Phillies start out flat. Will the good tidings and cautious optimism carry over from last year? Will the city cheer its team on, knowing it has the talent to take it all? Or will we throw up our hands, concoct a new curse and stop talking to each other again? Only time will tell.

 

QuotationCats are intended to teach us that not in everything in nature has a purpose. – Garrison Keillor

 

Tune: Finally, a successful Philadelphia band that hasn’t moved to Brooklyn. Dr. Dog is getting bigger by the day. Here’s “My Old Ways”.

 

Link: Chuck Norris Facts – A list of “facts” about Chuck Norris. Some of them are extremely funny.

 

Gallimaufry: If you thought dot-matrix printers and Zip drives were gone for good, think again. Those are just two of the items discussed in Harry McCracken’s “Where Are They Now? 25 Computer Products That Refuse To Die”…Looks like The Stone Roses won’t be reuniting for this summer’s Coachella. Bummer…After watching the Philadelphia Flyers’ shootout loss to the Ottawa Senators on Saturday night, I decided something: Claude Giroux is the real deal. His shootout move – while unsuccessful – was pretty frickin’ nasty.

 

Incoming: Tomorrow – What the hell is up with all the gun violence over the weekend? Wednesday – Update on your Annoying Sayings suggestions. Stay tuned.