06.10.11 – a friday

word

lucubrate [loo-kyoo-breyt] v. 1. to work, write or study laboriously, especially at night 2. to write learnedly

birthday

Jacques Marquette (1637), Howlin’ Wolf (1910), Judy Garland (1922), Maurice Sendak (1928), João Gilberto (1931), F. Lee Bailey (1933), John Edwards (1953), Elizabeth Hurley (1965), Mike Doughty (1970)

standpoint

While I’m sitting here trying to think of something irking me to write about, I’m realizing I’m in a genuinely good mood. So, while I normally get pretty irate about now due to all of the inane crap I peruse daily as part of writing this blog, I’m not my usual inflamed self. But I’m gonna give it a try anyway.

These people stole my idea. Let me explain. I remember when I was younger, I dreaded the first and last month of the school year because there was simply no way to adequately air condition a building occupied by several hundred teenagers. It was always uncomfortably hot. I told every faculty member I came into contact with that school should be dismissed because of what I deemed “inhumane conditions.” My suggestions were always met with eye rolls and sighs. Guess I was on to something, huh?

→ After writing that last little blurb, I became aware that I’ve never been able to spell the word adequate without using spell check. I only spelled it write this time because I cheated and looked.

→ I literally haven’t watched a second of Mad Men. Feels good to get that off of my chest.

→ Everyone I know is sick and tired of me talking about (and imitating) this so I’m posting it here in an attempt to get it out of my system. James Spader is ridiculous here.

Okay, I will admit Catherine Tate was almost as good.

→ By the way, who is going to be the new boss on The Office? Anyone got the inside dope?

quotation

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. ↔David Carradine

tune

As you most likely saw above, today is Mike Doughty‘s birthday and as I do every year on this day, I offer you one of his songs. Here’s “Unsingable Name.”

gallimaufry

What a freakishly sad way to go. Seriously, the odds have to be astronomical on this one.

They needed to conduct a study for this? Whatever happened to just chalking things up to common sense?

This dog earned a million dollars a year. I’m betting she earned every penny.

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03.30.11 – a wednesday

word

taradiddle [tar-uhdid-l] n. 1. a small lie; fib 2. pretentious nonsense

birthday

Francisco Goya (1746), Vincent van Gogh (1853), Richard Dysart (1929), Warren Beatty (1937), Eric Clapton (1945), Paul Reiser (1957), Tracy Chapman (1964), Piers Morgan (1965), Celine Dion (1968), Norah Jones (1979)

standpoint

I have been fantasizing about starting a segment called For Christ’s Sake, Let’s Focus, a place where I can elucidate crap society is actually concerned about instead of what it should be. And today, the fantasy becomes a reality. Let’s start.

“Kevin Federline’s Girlfriend Expecting His Fifth Child” – This was on the front page of FoxNews.com. Is this newsworthy? Federline was famous for about nine minutes while he was married to Britney Spears who is herself struggling to remain famous. Big news.

“Cavaliers top LeBron, Heat 102-90” – LeBron upset the whole city of Cleveland by leaving for Miami. This story was one of the most popular last night on every major news website. Hey, Cleveland, the dude is gone. Get your shit together.

“Season 5 of ‘Mad Men’ Is Delayed Until 2012” – Wow. What in the hell is this world coming to? How will we move on? Stop playing God, Matthew Weiner.

“First Celebrity Bounced From ‘Dancing'” – That’s Dancing With The Stars, by the way, and that first celebrity happened to be none other than Mike Catherwood. You read that right. Mike Catherwood. Oh. You don’t know who the hell that is either? Phew. Thought I was out of the loop.

“Sis Throws Kate Middleton’s Bachelorette Party” – I love the first line from this one: “If you were looking for an invitation to Kate Middleton’s bachelorette party, too late – you’ve all ready missed it.” Even I’m at a loss for words with this one. So so so sad.

That’s it for now. I’m too annoyed to go on. Civilization is headed down the wrong road.

quotation

I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do. ↔ Lenny Bruce

tune

I make no secret of how I tend to gravitate toward fantastic lyrics like the ones featured in “Back In the Saddle” by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. Listen closely. You might learn a little something, people.

gallimaufry

Philadelphia, can we please just resolve this issue? One way or the other, let’s just go with it all ready.

Breaking news: Facebook not a good idea for teens. No way.

Unfortunately, I think these folks may be right. Stupid experts.