gumption [guhmp-shuhn] n. 1. initiative; aggressiveness; resourcefulness: With his gumption he’ll make a success of himself 2. courage; spunk; guts: It takes gumption to quit a high-paying job 3. common sense; shrewdness
Lawrence Oates (1888), Bobby Jones (1902), Ray Ellington (1916), Nat King Cole (1919), James Irwin (1930), John Wayne Gacy (1942), James Morrow (1947), Patrick Duffy (1949), Kurt Russell (1951), Gary Sinise (1955), Vicki Lewis (1960), Casey Siemaszko (1961), Rob Lowe (1964), Billy Corgan (1967), Alexander McQueen (1969), Mia Hamm (1972), Mason Jennings (1975)
Today is St. Patrick’s Day and most of you, irregardless of whether you have actual Irish roots or not, will go out and get drunk. And I support you in your endeavor. However, being both a bartender and an avid drinker, I’d like to offer the tips designed to assist you in having a fun, but also safe, night out.
→ Don’t drive. Even if you’re not drinking. There are going to be more idiots out on the road than a tea party protest led by Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and Carrot Top letting out. Leave your car at home.
→ Pick the right spot. Any bar with “Paddy” or “O’Anything” or “McAnything” or anything named similarly Irish is going to be packed to roof with drunk knuckleheads. Select a spot that’ll have a bit of a crowd but one where you’ll still be able to get a drink.
→ Drink within your safety zone. There will be lots of temptation to consume Irish-themed libations you normally wouldn’t. Green beer. Jameson. Guinness. Don’t get crazy. Drink what you’re used to and you’ll avoid a massive hangover and/or vomiting until the sun rises. Unless you’ve planned appropriately with your place of work, it’s still a school night.
→ Steer clear of the fisticuffs. The second best way to get arrested on a night like tonight is getting drunk and engaging in a brouhaha. Lots of people in one place means lots of bumping into one another. Don’t sweat it. Just enjoy the evening. And if some drunkard gets in your face, buy him a shot and wish him a happy night. Best money you’ll ever spend. Plus, women, at least the non-skanky kind, frown upon guys who like to fight.
Bottom line, treat St. Patrick’s Day like any other in which you’re planning to get loose and have some fun. Use your head. Keep your wits about you.
He was a terror to any snake that came in his path, whether it was the cold, slimy reptile sliding along the ground or the more dangerous snake that oppresses men through false teachings. And he drove the snakes out of the minds of men, snakes of superstition and brutality and cruelty. ↔ Arthur Brisbane
It would be completely messed up of me if I didn’t share an Irish tune with you all today. Here’s “If I Should Fall From Grace With God” by The Pogues.
This section is closed today. Come back tomorrow for some more.