November 21, 2011

word

catachresis [kat-uhkree-sis] n. misused or strained use of words, as in a mixed metaphor, occurring either in error or for rhetorical effect

birthday

Voltaire (1694), Marlo Thomas (1937), Harold Ramis (1944), Goldie Hawn (1945), Björk (1965)

standpoint

For all of you movie buffs, I’m working on something pretty cool for the next post, so stay tuned. Thanks for reading.

quotation

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. ↔ Rose Franken

tune

I realized the other day that those who actually pay attention to my tune of the day must think that I listen to music solely of the indie rock persuasion. Not so, people. I also like jazz a great deal. Here’s one of my favorites – “Strange Meadowlark” by Dave Brubeck, who, incidentally, I was lucky enough to see in concert a few years back.

gallimaufry

→ Hey, fucking geniuses, people still take this shit seriously. You’re an embarrassment to racist morons everywhere.

→ The Philadelphia Eagles continue to lose when they’re supposed to win and win when they’re supposed to lose. Absolutely fucking annoying.

→ I had no idea John Sellers released his new book, The Old Man and the Swamp. I will definitely be picking it up soon and suggest you all do the same. I’ve had some personal contact with Mr. Sellers over the years and not only is he a great writer but he’s a quality individual as well.

04.30.10 – A Friday

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much obliged

Before I get into the last post, I wanted to thank all of you for reading and posting comments to the daily euneJeune. I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated all the feedback and support.

For their role, however large or small, they played in making this a rewarding undertaking, I’d like to give a special thanks to the following people: Donika Miller, Marc Schuster, David Frees, John Sellers, Ezgi Bilici, Joe Taylor, John Hay, Kate Jacovino, Jeannie Matamoros, Beth Treisner, Heather Petrovsky, Courtney Papada Daly, Kelly Kampf, Jonathan Chriswell, Bill McLeer, Kristie Attardi, Wynn Sanders, Mike Graveley, Richard O’Connor, Brian McFadden, Kevin Emery, Adam Schwartzberg and Annette Burgess. Your support was huge.

Sorry if you deserved a mention and didn’t get one. Doesn’t mean anything other than I’m forgetful.

Also, a special shout-out goes to Mindninja, or Jen, or whatever the hell your name is, for stalking me for a few months last year. Your unrelenting negativity taught me there’s always going to be someone who flat out disagrees with my perspective. I have no idea who you are, but I have my theories (ex-girlfriend, ex-friend, etc.). Whoever you are, I hope the medication is working.

All right, now to today’s installment.

word

abeyance [uh-bey-uhns] n. 1. temporary inactivity, cessation, or suspension: Let’s hold that problem in abeyance for a while 2. Law. a state or condition of real property in which title is not as yet vested in a known titleholder: an estate in abeyance

birthday

Jean-Baptiste de la Salle (1651), David Thompson (1770), Alice B. Toklas (1877), Percy Heath (1923), Johnny Horton (1925), Cloris Leachman (1926), Willie Nelson (1933), Gary Collins (1938), Burt Young (1940), Jill Clayburgh (1944), Isaiah Thomas (1961), Akon (1973), Johnny Galecki (1975), Kirsten Dunst (1982)

standpoint

It’s finally here. The day I’m closing shop on the euneJeune daily. 14 months ago, I began this to prove to myself I could write something, good or bad, on a daily basis. And, for the most part, I did. I’ll always look back to this blog as something I’m proud of. I’m going to miss it badly.

But life goes on and I need to spend the time I allotted for this and use it for the writing I was meant to. Don’t worry, I won’t be entirely disappearing from the internet. I’ve been invited to be a contributor on Popularity Contest, a blog recently started by my friend Marc Schuster, and I’ll be posting stories on there from time-to-time.

I love Esquire and my favorite section is always “What I’ve Learned.” For my last Standpoint, I’m going to share what I’ve learned about myself, about the internet, about the world, from what I’ve done here.

» Astrology is horseshit. The day of the year someone happens to be born is completely inconsequential. Oskar Schindler and Saddam Hussein share the same birthday. So do Leonardo da Vinci and Seth Rogen, Raphael and Zach Braff, Vincent van Gogh and MC Hammer, James Madison and Erik Estrada. Looking for similarities within those pairings is ridiculous.

» Like most writers, I guess, I have a tendency to concentrate on troublesome people. I’ve focused more on Glenn Beck, Oprah Winfrey and Sarah Palin than I have on Chuck Klosterman, Conan O’Brien and Jack Kerouac. Something I should dwell on for a stretch.

» I have a broader vocabulary than I used to. The other day, I heard someone describe himself as a polemic and I knew exactly what he meant. (He was calling himself a controversialist.)

» The amount of news stories on any given day is staggering. Between the “reputable” sources and the bloggers, it’s fairly easy to find a news story in which the facts are presented just the way you like them. It’s great because no one ever again has to be wrong. Even when they are.

» I challenge you to find any quotations website where Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde and Ralph Waldo Emerson aren’t prominently featured. Go on, I dare you.

» Probably even Zach Rogue thinks I listen to too much Rogue Wave.

» When you write a blog, your greatest friends won’t read it. If you offered my best friend Harvey $1 million to tell you just one thing I wrote about here in the past six months, he’d be forced to forfeit the cash. (I have to say Joe Taylor is an exception to this rule. Or I’d never hear the end of it.)

» If you’re doing anything online that’s in need of promotion and you fail to see the merits of Facebook an Twitter, you need to reconsider. The days where I shared or tweeted my latest post, my traffic was over three times higher than those days I didn’t. The stuff works.

» One thing anyone who writes needs to remember is that there are those out there who internalize everything they read. Because of that, you’ll receive negative and hurtful attacks. Never let the vitriol people spew stop you from expressing yourself. Fuck those people. Wake up tomorrow and keep going.

I’ve learned all that and more. I hope you learned some things, as well.

quotation

Don’t be dismayed by goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. Richard Bach

tune

For my last post I thought this Elliott Smith song was rather appropriate. Enjoy “A Fond Farewell.”

gallimaufry

→ If you’re not yet reading Hyperbole and a Half, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for. One of the greatest blogs I’ve read.

→ Man, US Senators sure do fancy themselves some meddling. Hey, elected officials, I’ve got to believe there some other problem you can be trying to solve. We’d be in a pretty sweet spot right now if Facebook privacy issues was the country’s highest priority.

This is the closest thing I’ve seen resembling honest journalism in a long, long time.

Tuesday – September 1st

After a month off, I’m back. Going to be tweaking this old blog quite a bit to get it where I know (deep down) it should be. I’ll be aggresively reshaping things and reworking sections. It may appear different from one day to the next as I attempt to find the perfect look and feel for your favorite blog. As usual, comments are always encouraged.

Word

 rubric[roo-brik] n. 1. a title, heading, direction, or the like, in a manuscript, book, statute, etc., written or printed in red or otherwise distinguished from the rest of the text 2. a direction for the conduct of divine service or the administration of the sacraments, inserted in liturgical books 3. any established mode of conduct or procedure; protocol 4. an explanatory comment; gloss 5. a class or category 6. Archaic. red ocher adj. 7. written, inscribed in, or marked with or as with red; rubrical 8. Archaic. red; ruddy

Birthday

 Engelbert Humperdinck (1854), Richard Farnsworth (1920), Rocky Marciano (1923), Art Pepper (1925), Boxcar Willie (1931), Ann W. Richards (1933), Conway Twitty (1933), Lily Tomlin (1939), Barry Gibb (1946), Dr. Phil McGraw (1950), Nicu Ceausescu (1951), Billy Blanks (1955), Gloria Estefan (1957), Kenny Mayne (1959), Bam Bam Bigelow (1961), Mohammed Atta (1968), Padma Lakshmi (1970), Jimmy Snuka Jr. (1971)

Standpoint

All right. While I was on my hiatus, my football team – The Philadelphia Eagles – signed ex-convict Michael Vick. Since I have been one of the biggest opponents of Vick‘s return to the NFL (not to mention society), I’m very much aware of the irony he’ll be wearing Eagles‘s green this autumn. Is it deplorable? Yes. Does it suck? Definitely. Can we do anything about it? Not at all. And, even if we could, it appears unlikely we even would.

Since the announcement of the signing, I’ve been listening to what everyone has to say on the issue (and it’s a lot), and whether an individual is completely outraged or just mildly annoyed by Vick coming to Philadelphia, it seems like everyone has he same plan for demonstrating their dismay. Not doing anything at all. For the record, posting anonymously on an internet message board or calling into a sports talk show does not qualify as taking a stand. Sorry.

According to official sources, “fewer than 10” season ticket holders have resigned and exactly none of the Eagles’ 44 corporate sponsors have withdrawn due to the Vick signing. So, while everyone with a working voice box was condemning Eagles’ management when it was announced and most fans were walking around staring incredulously at each other, asking the same question (“What the fuck?”), everything has returned to normal and I’m guessing Andy Reid and company knew that would be the case.

I still think Michael Vick is a disgusting excuse for a man, but now I’m looking at the rest of us and asking myself the same WTF question from above. Most likely, the reality is that we’ve become a bunch of gasbags who get animated and vocal about the things that bother us. Unfortunately, we’re not willing to do something as simple as depriving ourselves of watching a football game to try to force others to do the right thing.

Quotation

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.Henry David Thoreau

Tune

I’m in the middle of one of those phases I go through in which I try to find as much new music as humanly possible. So I’m listening to lots of stuff right now. Some good. Some not so much. One of the good I’ve come upon is Morning State – a band from Atlanta, GA. Check out “Oh Yeah.” (The YouTube video for this is weird, set to the opening of MST3K.) 

Gallimaufry

Check out my buddy John Sellers‘ piece – How Not To Behave On “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” – from TrueSlant.com. It’s funny because it’s true. Especially Rule 3.

Go on MyFOXPhilly.com and vote for RiverCrest Golf Club and Preserve in the category of Best Wedding Venue. You know. As a favor to me.

My good friend has started a new blog – Inspire Films and Television. Go take a visit and show him some love.

05.15.09 – Friday

Word: fulsome [fool-suhm, fuhl-] adj. 1. offensive to good taste, esp. as being excessive; overdone or gross: fulsome praise that embarrassed her deeply; fulsome décor 2. disgusting; sickening; repulsive: a table heaped with fulsome mounds of greasy foods 3. excessively or insincerely lavish: fulsome admiration 4. encompassing all aspects; comprehensive: a fulsome survey of the political situation in Central America 5. abundant or copious

Birthday: L. Frank Baum (1856), Richard J. Daley (1902), Eddy Arnold (1918), Utah Phillips (1935), Wavy Gravy (1936), Madeleine Albright (1937), Brian Eno (1948), Chazz Palminteri (1952), George Brett (1953), Dan Patrick (1956), David Krumholtz (1978), Jamie-Lynn Sigler (1981)

Standpoint: When a music artist performs a new rendition of another music artist’s established song, it’s called a “cover version.” It’s widely accepted that the cover artist’s rendition is the weaker one based on the assumption the original must be better because it’s just that – the original. However, there are certain artists and songs that go against the grain in that regard. After devising my own list and  asking for your suggestions on Twitter and Facebook, I’ve compiled a list of 7 Cover Songs Better Than Their Originals.

While doing the searches for these songs on YouTube, I discovered that in most of the cases, the cover was more popular. This is only a small sample of songs that are better that the ones they’re covering. How about you? Got any favorites you think should’ve been included here?

Weekend: Each Friday, I’ll provide you with 3 Things To Do In Philly When You’re Dead – my list of events for spending this weekend in Philadelphia as if it was your last:

  • Today (05.15.09) – MMA Famous Singles Pub CrawlThe Public House – Tired of spending Friday nights without a significant other. Here’s your chance to do something about it. Meet Market Adventures presents a night of “No Covers. No Driving. No Worries.” Riding around from bar to bar on a bus with complete strangers, drinking and mingling? What ‘s stopping you? Get out there and find someone special.  Time: 6:30pm to midnight
  • Saturday (05.16.09) – The Shins – Electric Factory – One of the poster-bands for the indie music scene, The Shins hit the stage with a revamped lineup. I’ve seen them a few times and can testify to the fact that James Mercer and Co. put on one mean live show.  Time: 8:30pm
  • Sunday (05.17.09) – 9th Street Italian Market Festival – South 9th Street from Fitzwater to Federal – In its official press release, the Festival boasts, “halfball, great food, wonderful people and live performances from three stages.” Sounds great. Sign me up. But first, what in the world is halfball? Time: 10am – 5pm

Quotation: A rock show, if it is any good, should make you feel younger.John Sellers

Gallimaufry: Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, the 10-year old star of Slumdog Millionaire, was ordered out of his home yesterday, just before he watched it bulldozed to the ground. An Indian government official called it “a pre-monsoon demolition drive.” I call it pretty shitty to tear people’s homes down in such an abrupt manner. Apparently, the young star has a trust fund set up for him by the makers of Slumdog, but hasn’t received any assistance yet out of fear the money will end up in the wrong hands. ∞ HELP! Paste Magazine is in danger of having to close up shop. For those of you who don’t all ready know, Paste is one of the best music publications in circulation. Help The Campaign to Save Paste! ∞ Is Jordan coming to the Philadelphia 76ers? Maybe. But not “His Airness“. Eddie Jordan is set to interview with the NBA team to fill their head coach vacancy.

Incoming: Next week’s going to be a good one. I can feel it. All right, that’s it for me. Thanks for reading. Come back Monday for some more.

04.14.09 – Tuesday

[Note: Today’s post is a little longer than usual due to the passing of Philadelphia’s legendary broadcaster, Harry Kalas – a man who will forever be remembered as “The Voice of the Philadelphia Phillies.”]

Word: sycophant [sikuh-fuhnt, – fant, sahy-kuh-] n. a self-seeking, servile flatterer; fawning parasite

Birthday: Shorty Rogers (1924), Rod Steiger (1925), Loretta Lynn (1935), Pete Rose (1941), Richard Jeni (1957), Brad Garrett (1960), Robert Carlyle (1961), Anthony Michael Hall (1968), Adrien Brody (1973), Sarah Michelle Gellar (1977), Win Butler (1980)

Occurence: 1865Abraham Lincoln is shot from behind by in Ford’s Theatre by John Wilkes Booth.

Standpoint: I remember one afternoon in college. My buddy Joe Taylor and I were watching NFL Films. I mentioned that the narrator’s voice sounded kind of familiar. Joe sat up from the couch. “You don’t know who that is?” I told my friend I didn’t. “It’s Harry Kalas! The guy who calls Phillies games with Richie Ashburn!  Are you shitting me?”I wasn’t “shitting” him. I just wasn’t an avid Phillies fan. At that point, I saw no reason to stir Joe up any further by explaining to him I didn’t know who Richie Ashburn was.

Harry Kalas died yesterday at the age of 73 while preparing to call a Phillies-Nationals game in Washington D.C. Before that afternoon with Joe, I did know who he was. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t a baseball fan. Growing up in Philadelphia, it was nearly impossible to not know the man who could’ve patented the phrase, “It’s outta here!”  After college, I eventually did get into baseball and came to share the common reverence held for “The Voice of the Philadelphia Phillies.” He was one of those rare announcers whose love for the game and his team oozed out into the living rooms of all watching. His soothing voice could go from completely relaxed to incredibly excited with the swing of a bat.

The game of baseball lost a true living legend yesterday. The one silver lining being repeated everywhere was that at least Kalas lived long enough to see one more Phillies World Championship last October. I was actually outside Citizens Bank Park when it happened and heard Kalas call it live when Brad Lidge got that third out. Simultaneously, I heard the roar from the crowd in the stadium. My friends out in the parking lot, looked toward the ballpark and lamented the fact that we weren’t inside to experience the ensuing euphoria. I thought to myself that I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I got to hear the best broadcaster in baseball history call the final out of the World Series. It was the people inside who missed out.

Further Reading.

Quotation: Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side and it holds the universe together. Carl Zwanzig

Tune: I first heard this song back on MTV’s 120 Minutes. (Remember when MTV played good songs?) “Mr E.’s Beautiful Blues” immediately made me buy everything I could by Eels.

Gallimaufry: Amazon.com is under fire for their new “adult” policy. The online bookstore has being accused of removing only “adult” literature dealing with homosexuality. (Amazon is claiming a glitch on the site.) Click here to learn more and sign the petition. (Thanks to Beth Treisner)…I suspect that “Facebook Users Get Worse Grades in College” is the first of many articles I’ll read in the next year about the negative effects of the popular social networking site…Al Franken is still not a United States Senator but it appears to be a matter of time until he is. Hey, Minnesota, let the guy in already. Jesse “The Body” Ventura used to be your governor. I mean, seriously.

Incoming: Tomorrow – What’s StumbleUpon?  Thursday – More of your Annoying Sayings/Misused Words (This is now going to be a permanent Thursday thing.) Friday3 Things To Do In Philly When You’re Dead and 5 People I Wish Would Move to Another Planet.

03.04.09 – Wednesday

Whereabouts: Philadelphia, PA

Word: aposiopesis [ap-uh-sahy-uhpee-sis] n. a sudden breaking off in the midst of a sentence, as if from inability or unwillingness to proceed

Birthday: Anthony Vivaldi (1687), Knute Rockne (1888), Shemp Howard (1895), Paul Mauriat (1925), Bobby Womack (1944), James Ellroy (1948), Catherine O’Hara (1954), Adrian Zmed (1954), Steven Weber (1961), Kevin Johnson (1966), Evan Dando (1967)

Occurrence: 1634 – The first tavern is opened in Boston, Massachusetts by Samuel Cole. The first of hundreds of thousands.

Irksome: I’m not going to bail after one show but Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is not really doing it for me so far. Mr. Fallon seems like an affable guy and his nervous energy was funny on SNL but he needs to lose a little bit of that awkwardness. Conan O’Brien mastered walking the line between acting confident and playing the geek. Fallon must do the same to capture the late night crowd, especially on the East Coast, where obviously more will be expected of him. I did like The Roots as the house band and the “Slow-Jam the News” of the stimulus package definitely made me laugh. I know Jimmy is capable of more than he showed me Monday night. I just hope he gets the chance to prove it.  

Quotation: Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.Horace Mann

Tidbit: Yesterday, March 3rd 2009, was a Square Root Day. Third (3) day of the third (3) month of 2009 (9). 3×3=9. The next one is April 4th, 2016. Start planning your square root parties accordingly. I like Miller Lite.

Song: Last summer, I listened to the Public Enemy song, “Harder Than You Think” about 9 million times. I’m not saying you should listen to it that many times. But I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

Link: swaptree – Do yourself a favor and check this out. The premise of the site is paying for new stuff with stuff you already own. I think it’s a great idea.

Gallimaufry: HERE is the blog of one of my favorite authors, John Sellers. Not only is he a talented writer, he also happens to be a good dude. A few months back, I solicited some advice from John about something I was writing. He replied to me in helpful detail and told me not to hesitate to seek his council in the future. Very cool. Also, while visiting Philadelphia he visited The Dark Horse after he read about it one of my stories…Click HERE to read about Sam Roberts.