03.23.11 – a wednesday

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word

fugacious [fyoo-gey-shuhs] adj. 1. fleeting; transitory: a sensational story with but a fugacious claim on the public’s attention 2. Botany. falling or fading early

birthday

Joan Crawford (1905), David Grisman (1945), Ric Ocasek (1949), Chaka Khan (1953), Kenneth Cole (1954), Moses Malone (1955), Amanda Plummer (1957), Richard Grieco (1965), Yasmeen Ghauri (1971), Keri Russell (1976), Perez Hilton (1978)

standpoint

This wasn’t easy, although I’m sure it’ll seem like it was.

Last night (or earlier tonight, depending on whether we’re talking about your perspective or mine), I was driving from Skippack, where I work, to Manayunk, where I reside. I was in full-on music geek mode and decided that I was going to do something I’ve been thinking about doing for a while now, something I’ve attempted before but never been able to pull the trigger on: My Favorite Music of All-Time.

The main problem with compiling this list has been that it gets too long. So I decided to break it down into categories which I will share with you over the next few days or, truthfully, however long it takes.

I may regret it as the whole damn thing might get a little out of control and beyond the point of any real structure or direction but, as I’ve said in the past, I’m the only one writing this blog and so I’m my own boss. (Despite Joe Taylor’s many late night claims otherwise.)

All right, I’m going to start with the Six Songs I’ve Played the Most in the Past Ten Years According to My Two iPods.

Number Six

“Inner Meet Me” – The Beta Band

Number Five

“Finer Feelings” – Spoon

Number Four

“Ain’t That Enough” – Teenage Fanclub

Number Three

“Modern Mystery” – Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin

Number Two

“Harmonium” – Rogue Wave

Number One

“Beautiful Beat” – Nada Surf

There’s the first installment. Tomorrow will be yet another.

quotation

I apologize to computer chess after calling it stupid when I lost. You’re not stupid, computer chess. I am. ↔ Michael Ian Black

tune

I like Jeb Loy Nichols and I like most versions of “The Tracks Of My Tears.” I found this and didn’t even really listen to it. Just decided to put it up here. Hope you like it.

gallimaufry

You know what Twitter needs? I do. Twilter. Instead of ceasing to follow someone who’s bugging the shit out you, you can employ Twilter, a program that will block retweets, tweets with spam links, etc. and so forth. All you computer programmers out there, feel free to run with it. Just do me a favor. If you become the next internet millionaire from the idea, make sure someone besides Jack Black or Kevin Smith portrays me in the movie they make about you. Deal? Those guys are at least 100 lbs. bigger than me.

→ Dear NFL, if you’re trying to turn the most popular sport in the country into something no one is interesting watching, nice job. These are a first few steps in the right direction.

→ For those of you who are tired of news that matters, read this. It’s nice to see there’s at least a few people out there with their eye on the ball. Christ.

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03.21.11 – a monday

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word

insipid [in-sip-id] adj. 1. without distinctive, interesting or stimulating qualities; vapid: an insipid personality 2. without sufficient taste to be pleasing, as food or drink; bland: a rather insipid soup

birthday

Johann Sebastian Bach (1685), Pierre Renoir (1885), Julio Gallo (1910), Russ Meyer (1922), Solomon Burke (1940), Timothy Dalton (1946), Eddie Money (1949), Gary Oldman (1958), Matthew Broderick (1962), Rosie O’Donnell (1962), Rhys Darby (1974)

standpoint

Starting a new kind of installment this fine Monday. I’m calling it Please Stop Talking! Basically, it’s a laundry list of individuals or groups of individuals whose mouths should be sewn shut.

All of you fantastic Americans who are griping about how we shouldn’t be “wasting our money” helping the people of Japan when there’s “people in this country suffering.” How exactly are you helping out here at home? Oh, you’re not?

→  Everyone who’s got some flippant remark about the tragedy in Japan. Especially those who reference “sushi” or “karaoke” or something equally clever. There are real people over there, dipshits.

Charlie Sheen. For the absolute love of god, Charlie Sheen.

Staunch Republicans. Also, staunch Democrats. In addition, anyone entertaining the idea of becoming a staunch Republican or Democrat. Simmer down. There’s some of us doing some actual thinking. We’ll let you know how it turns out.

Those of you who think you’re somehow more enlightened than the rest of us and are just dying to tell the world all about your take on things. Before you get started, you need to know you’re wrong and you always will be.

Seth Rogen. You’re hapless and go-lucky. You smoke pot and watch porn. You continue to fall ass-backwards into an increasingly charming fate. We get it. We’re over it. Your turn.

quotation

I’m going to simultaneously record an album, direct a movie, and write a novel about how living in suburbia is satisfying and terrific. ↔ Chuck Klosterman

tune

All you hipsters out there can say what you want about Ben Folds. I’ll admit, he’s lost a step in his past few albums or so but the guy is a consummate performer and puts on one hell of a show. Check out this video and, hopefully, you’ll see what I mean.

gallimaufry

Hey, Bret Michaels, thanks for sharing. How are you still valid? Please explain.

→ I’m sure it’s going to make my good friend Joe Taylor’s day when I state the following: I’m actually watching some college hoops this time around, something that, more than once, I’ve publicly proclaimed I would never do. Still not going to link to it on my blog. I’m sure they’ll be fine without my traffic.

→ Love this headline: “Pentagon: Gadhafi forces in disarray after assault.” You think? After “missions that used stealth B-2 bombers, jet fighters, more than 120 Tomahawk cruise missiles and other high-tech weapons,” I’d be psyched if I was Gadhafi to be in “disarray.” It’s how I spent most of my twenties and early thirties. Truthfully, it wasn’t that bad. On a side note, can we get a ruling on how to actually spell the dude’s name? Does it actually start with a “G?” Or is it a “Q?” Wasn’t there a “u” in there at some point? I understand we’re dealing with different alphabets here but, before we move forward with “Operation: Disarray,” let’s nail it down. We’re better than this, people.

03.04.11 – a friday

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word

agrestic [uhgres-tik] adj. 1. rural; rustic 2. unpolished; awkward: egrestic behavior

birthday

Antonio Vivaldi (1678), Shemp Howard (1895), Bobby Womack (1944), James Ellroy (1948), Catherine O’Hara (1954), Adrian Zmed (1954), Patricia Heaton (1958), Steven Weber (1961), Evan Dando (1967), Chaz Bono (1969), Buck 65 (1972)

standpoint

All right, I’ll bend to popular opinion. Most of your emails the past two days have been asking me to expound on the whole Charlie Sheen nonsense.

I’d love to write something better than this clip that Joe Taylor sent me but I’m afraid I’m just not that talented. Enjoy.

I enjoy the “gnarley gnarlingtons” quote the most.

quotation

I think I have a duty as a recovering guy to help, to make my knowledge of what I went through accessible. ↔ Charlie Sheen (many moons ago)

tune

The latest of my favorite songs to end up on a television ad, “Sweet Talk, Sweet Talk,” by The New Pornographers.

gallimaufry

The most typical face on the planet Earth looks nothing like anyone I know. Guess I need to meet more people.

→ Both Zsa Zsa Gabor and Elizabeth Taylor are in the hospital. And, while I’m sure neither are psyched about it, they can take solace in the fact that they’re not dead. I was positive both of them were.

Abraham Lincoln was a badass. Sure, the dude has imperfections but I think I’m on solid ground when I say that we all do. Let’s stop trying to disparage the guy. I’d take him over most of you every day of the week.

04.30.10 – A Friday

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much obliged

Before I get into the last post, I wanted to thank all of you for reading and posting comments to the daily euneJeune. I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated all the feedback and support.

For their role, however large or small, they played in making this a rewarding undertaking, I’d like to give a special thanks to the following people: Donika Miller, Marc Schuster, David Frees, John Sellers, Ezgi Bilici, Joe Taylor, John Hay, Kate Jacovino, Jeannie Matamoros, Beth Treisner, Heather Petrovsky, Courtney Papada Daly, Kelly Kampf, Jonathan Chriswell, Bill McLeer, Kristie Attardi, Wynn Sanders, Mike Graveley, Richard O’Connor, Brian McFadden, Kevin Emery, Adam Schwartzberg and Annette Burgess. Your support was huge.

Sorry if you deserved a mention and didn’t get one. Doesn’t mean anything other than I’m forgetful.

Also, a special shout-out goes to Mindninja, or Jen, or whatever the hell your name is, for stalking me for a few months last year. Your unrelenting negativity taught me there’s always going to be someone who flat out disagrees with my perspective. I have no idea who you are, but I have my theories (ex-girlfriend, ex-friend, etc.). Whoever you are, I hope the medication is working.

All right, now to today’s installment.

word

abeyance [uh-bey-uhns] n. 1. temporary inactivity, cessation, or suspension: Let’s hold that problem in abeyance for a while 2. Law. a state or condition of real property in which title is not as yet vested in a known titleholder: an estate in abeyance

birthday

Jean-Baptiste de la Salle (1651), David Thompson (1770), Alice B. Toklas (1877), Percy Heath (1923), Johnny Horton (1925), Cloris Leachman (1926), Willie Nelson (1933), Gary Collins (1938), Burt Young (1940), Jill Clayburgh (1944), Isaiah Thomas (1961), Akon (1973), Johnny Galecki (1975), Kirsten Dunst (1982)

standpoint

It’s finally here. The day I’m closing shop on the euneJeune daily. 14 months ago, I began this to prove to myself I could write something, good or bad, on a daily basis. And, for the most part, I did. I’ll always look back to this blog as something I’m proud of. I’m going to miss it badly.

But life goes on and I need to spend the time I allotted for this and use it for the writing I was meant to. Don’t worry, I won’t be entirely disappearing from the internet. I’ve been invited to be a contributor on Popularity Contest, a blog recently started by my friend Marc Schuster, and I’ll be posting stories on there from time-to-time.

I love Esquire and my favorite section is always “What I’ve Learned.” For my last Standpoint, I’m going to share what I’ve learned about myself, about the internet, about the world, from what I’ve done here.

» Astrology is horseshit. The day of the year someone happens to be born is completely inconsequential. Oskar Schindler and Saddam Hussein share the same birthday. So do Leonardo da Vinci and Seth Rogen, Raphael and Zach Braff, Vincent van Gogh and MC Hammer, James Madison and Erik Estrada. Looking for similarities within those pairings is ridiculous.

» Like most writers, I guess, I have a tendency to concentrate on troublesome people. I’ve focused more on Glenn Beck, Oprah Winfrey and Sarah Palin than I have on Chuck Klosterman, Conan O’Brien and Jack Kerouac. Something I should dwell on for a stretch.

» I have a broader vocabulary than I used to. The other day, I heard someone describe himself as a polemic and I knew exactly what he meant. (He was calling himself a controversialist.)

» The amount of news stories on any given day is staggering. Between the “reputable” sources and the bloggers, it’s fairly easy to find a news story in which the facts are presented just the way you like them. It’s great because no one ever again has to be wrong. Even when they are.

» I challenge you to find any quotations website where Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde and Ralph Waldo Emerson aren’t prominently featured. Go on, I dare you.

» Probably even Zach Rogue thinks I listen to too much Rogue Wave.

» When you write a blog, your greatest friends won’t read it. If you offered my best friend Harvey $1 million to tell you just one thing I wrote about here in the past six months, he’d be forced to forfeit the cash. (I have to say Joe Taylor is an exception to this rule. Or I’d never hear the end of it.)

» If you’re doing anything online that’s in need of promotion and you fail to see the merits of Facebook an Twitter, you need to reconsider. The days where I shared or tweeted my latest post, my traffic was over three times higher than those days I didn’t. The stuff works.

» One thing anyone who writes needs to remember is that there are those out there who internalize everything they read. Because of that, you’ll receive negative and hurtful attacks. Never let the vitriol people spew stop you from expressing yourself. Fuck those people. Wake up tomorrow and keep going.

I’ve learned all that and more. I hope you learned some things, as well.

quotation

Don’t be dismayed by goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. Richard Bach

tune

For my last post I thought this Elliott Smith song was rather appropriate. Enjoy “A Fond Farewell.”

gallimaufry

→ If you’re not yet reading Hyperbole and a Half, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for. One of the greatest blogs I’ve read.

→ Man, US Senators sure do fancy themselves some meddling. Hey, elected officials, I’ve got to believe there some other problem you can be trying to solve. We’d be in a pretty sweet spot right now if Facebook privacy issues was the country’s highest priority.

This is the closest thing I’ve seen resembling honest journalism in a long, long time.