04.20.11 – a wednesday

word

chthonian [thoh-nee-uhn] adj. of or pertaining to the deities, spirits and other beings dwelling under the earth

birthday

Adolf Hitler (1899), Lionel Hampton (1908), George Takei (1937), Jessica Lange (1949), Luther Vandross (1951), Crispin Glover (1964), Carmen Electra (1972), Joey Lawrence (1976)

standpoint

Here’s some stuff that’s been on my mind in the past few days.

→ Apparently, someone is trying hack my gmail account. At least that’s what Google is telling me. I am not a violent individual, by any stretch of the imagination, but I would have no problem spending a rainy afternoon punching hackers in the face. Seriously, you guys need to get some frickin’ girlfriends all ready.

→ Why is it so difficult to find out about the status of Comedy Central’s The Benson Interruption? Is it through? On hiatus? Is Doug Benson on a record-setting marijuana binge? I want answers, people.

→ I don’t care that some dude called me “a skirt” the other day when I openly declared I want a Can-Am Roadster, I still think they’re cool.

→ I’ve made a decision. Daredevil, starring Ben Affleck, is the worst superhero movie ever made. Adam West can finally hold his head high.

→ Following Wil Wheaton on Twitter as he watches his Los Angeles Kings is simultaneously fun and heartbreaking. The dude obviously digs hockey.

quotation

As advertising blather becomes the nation’s normal idiom, language becomes printed noise. ↔ George Will

tune

I don’t have a long-winded intro for this one, it’s just, in my opinion, a kick-ass song. Here’s “Open House” by Bombay Bicycle Club.

gallimaufry

Turns out those days were not “all happy” and it appears as if they definitely weren’t “free.” I’m relieved to see Richie and Fonzie aren’t getting involved in this mess.

I’ve never concealed my objection to the ridiculous gun laws in this country but the guns aren’t truly to blame. (They’re just inanimate objects, after all.) No, the actual problem is there’s no mandatory IQ test for those folks out there who feel owning a gun is a stellar idea. Read this story and tell me I’m wrong.

Hey, if you haven’t yet figured out why the NHL’s Stanley Cup Playoffs is unquestionably the most complete sports experience on the planet, you’re missing out. 

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04.01.09 – Wednesday

Word: hyperbole [hahy-pur-buh-lee] n. 1. obvious and intentional exaggeration  2. an extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally, as in “wait and eternity”

 

Birthday: Otto von Bismarck (1815), Big Jim Fisk (1834), Gordon Jump (1932), Debbie Reynolds (1932), Ali MacGraw (1938), Jimmy Cliff (1948), Gil Scott-Heron (1949), Annette O’Toole (1952), Method Man (1971), Rachel Maddow (1971), Bijou Phillips (1980)

 

Occurrence: 2004Google launches Gmail. This should be enough to make April 1st a national holiday. If you don’t use Gmail, switch now.

 

Standpoint: Well, its April Fool’s Day and guess who’s got something really funny cooking up? Hackers. The Conficker worm is looking to create quite a stir. If you’re reading this, you’re probably safe. Often, I wonder what it would take for me to become a full-fledged hacker. What steps would I need to take?

 

  1. Dump my girlfriend – Sorry, honey, but hacking is time-consuming stuff. No more romantic dinners or movie nights for a while. After all, I’ll be trying to take over the world.
  2. Enroll in a martial arts class – Hackers claim they do this for the mental discipline needed to be successful at the craft. I envision some sort of ornate Japanese spear hanging on a wall in my office.
  3. Change my wardrobe – I’ll need to fit in with my hacker brethren so I’ll need lots of ironic t-shirts with clever statements like, “Big Brother Is Watching You” and “Just Because I’m Paranoid Doesn’t Mean They’re Not Watching Me.” Also, buying a wide assortment of Converse All-Stars feels like something I’ll have to seriously think about.
  4. Modify my attitude – Right now, I’m not particularly angry enough to do something like, say, hack into the New York Stock Exchange and collapse the economy. Gotta get mean. Or at the very least, gotta get not-so-apathetic.
  5. Create believable back-story – I’ll come up with stories that I can share with my hacker brethren so they’ll better relate to me. One story will chronicle a particularly horrific gym class involving multiple dodgeballs caroming off my face. Another one will be the tale of how I went stag to my senior prom with my buddy Gilbert and we got totally wasted and made fun of everyone else for “participating in elitist bullshit.” 
  6. Actually learn how to hack – I’ll be good at talking the talk but walking the walk will be a totally different story. Most hacker experts estimate that someone with practically no knowledge of hacking (like me) will need to spend 18-24 months training to acquire the basic necessary skills.

 Seems like a lot of work. I probably won’t do it.

 

Quotation: If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. Tallulah Bankhead

 

Tune: I hear that, in real life, Alanis Morissette is a cool person. Most of her songs, though, annoy the crap out of me. “Hands Clean” is an exception. I like the whole idea of fast forwarding to a few years later.

 

Link: Music Map – Like iTunes’ “Related Artist” feature but about 8,000 times better.

 

Gallimaufry: Not sure which blanket-with-sleeves you should be looking at? You’ve got more options than the Snuggie…Tattletexting? It’s real and coming to a sporting event near you…Hipsters have always been a source of endless amusement for me. For many reasons. Here’s an article by Lauren Alfrey “What Can We Learn by Learning about Hipsters?” Interesting take.