09.14.09 – A Monday

Word

gadabout [gaduh-bout] n. 1. a person who moves about restlessly or aimlessly, esp. from one social activity to another 2. a person who travels often or to many different places, esp. for pleasure

Birthday

Claudius Clavus (1388), Johann Michael Haydn (1737), Hamlin Garland (1860), Harry Sinden (1932), Walter Koenig (1936), Larry Brown (1940), Joey Heatherton (1944), Sam Neill (1947), Beth Neilsen Chapman (1958), Wendy Thomas (1961), Faith Ford (1964), Dan Cortese (1967), Tyler Perry (1969), Robert Ben Garant (1970), Kimberly Williams-Paisley (1971), Nas (1973), Amy Winehouse (1983)

Standpoint

Oh, man, yesterday was the first Sunday of NFL season, and, Christ, could it have been more dramatic for the Philadelphia Eagles and their fans? I’m completely sure the answer is no.

Yesterday afternoon, Donovan McNabb ran in for a 3rd quarter touchdown, putting another nail in the coffin his team was busy building for a supremely shitty Carolina Panthers football team. And then some 300-lb. dude named Damione Lewis landed all of his significant weight on McNabb’s rib cage, causing some sort of damage, the extent of which is not yet fully determined

Suddenly, as McNabb was writhing in pain on the turf, and FOX Sports was already showing the live feed of Michael Vick up in some luxury box, it wasn’t hard to envision the lightbulbs go on over the collective braintrust that is Philadelphia Eagles fans everywhere.

Later, as Kevin Kolb entered the game and did just a tiny bit better playing quarterback than, say, a robot I might make in my basement out of old stereo components, it wasn’t hard to conjure what every die-hard, bleeding-green member of Eagles’ nation was thinking.

Dogs? What dogs? I sort of remember something about Michael Vick and dogs. I kind of remember there being some kind of negative attention he may have attracted to himself involving something he did with/to dogs. It’s all a bit fuzzy. Let’s move on.

Couple of superb truths are about to be brought to light regarding “the best fans in football.”

One, this city seems to get its rocks off on when a guy, who’s done nothing but smile through all the massive amounts of shit we’ve hurled his way, gets physically injured. (I’ll elaborate more on the McNabb/Philadelphia relationship in tomorrow’s post.)

Two, all the clowns who were so “outraged” by the Vick signing are going to find that feeling suddenly replaced with outright panic over who’s going to quarterback the football team they’ve dedicated endless hours revolving their lives around.

Instantaneously, this city is about to change its tune. Because, while the pointless slaughter of defenseless dogs is, yes, a crime, it doesn’t come close to the potential atrocity of not making the playoffs.

Quotation

I’m always concerned that I’m not being nice enough. You know, people have told me I’m unfailingly polite….But I think those people are all pieces of shit. ◊ Michael Cera

Tune

Listening to tons of really good stuff the past couple of weeks. At least 15 new albums, mostly because of eMusic giving me 50 free downloads for some reason or another. The best of the bunch is, hands  down, Touchdown by brakesbrakesbrakes, known as Brakes in its native UK, featuring members of British Sea Power, Electric Soft Parade and The Tenderfoot. I may be digging on it so much because there are certain parts of the album where the band seems to be channeling Rogue Wave. And that’s fine by me because if there are two bands out there who can gracefully twist an turn through an album like that, all the better. Try “Worry About It Later.”

Gallimaufry

 → I’ve never been a huge Jim Carroll fan, but definitely had a boatload of respect for his body of work. Very sad to learn that he died this past Friday night from a heart attack at the age of 60. He was someone who two of my personal heroes, Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg, recognized as a viable voice. his poetry and prose never really appealed to me, but, being the music geek that I happen to be, I’ve always loved “People Who Died” – one of the only great songs to come out of Carroll’s foray into music.

→ I’ll be the first one to tell anyone who’ll listen there isn’t an abundance of interesting people up here in the suburbs. Exception to the rule are my friends who run Liberty Tattoo in Skippack. Talented, cool folks. Definitely worth a drive up from wherever the hell it is you are to get some quality work done on your person.

→ I’ve made an important life decision. If you and I are to be friends, I’ll need to be convinced you have a firm grasp of the important contribution Calvin and Hobbes made to our society. If you’re smart, you’ll start using this as a meter for determining worthwhile individuals. Don’t worry, if you’re already my friend and you don’t enjoy Calvin and Hobbes, we can still hang out. I won’t stop being friends with you. After all, it’s just a comic strip, right? Wrong. That was just a test. Hopefully you passed.

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07.15.09 – Wednesday

Word: strident [strahyd-nt] adj. 1. making or having a harsh sound; grating; creaking: strident insects; strident hinges 2. having a shrill, irritating quality or character: a strident tone in his writings 3. Linguistics. (in distinctive feature analysis) characterized acoustically by noise of relatively high intensity, as sibilants, labiodental and uvular fricatives, and most affricates

Birthday: Ewostatewos (1273), Rembrandt van Rijn (1606), Lloyd “Cowboy” Copas (1913), Clive Cussler (1931), Alex Karras (1935), Barry Goldwater Jr. (1938), Millie Jackson (1944), Jan-Michael Vincent (1944), Linda Ronstadt (1946), Arianna Huffington (1950), Jesse “The Body” Ventura (1951), Johnny Thunders (1952), Ian Curtis (1956), Barry Melrose (1956), Marky Ramone (1956), Joe Satriani (1956), Kim Alexis (1960), Willie Aames (1960), Lolita Davidovich (1961), Forest Whitaker (1961), Brigitte Nielsen (1963), Jason Bonham (1966), Eddie Griffin (1968), Dave Foley (1972), Beth Ostrosky (1972), Brian Austin Green (1973)

Quotation: Impartial observers from other planets would consider ours an utterly bizarre enclave if it were populated by birds, defined as flying animals, that nevertheless rarely or never actually flew.  They would also be perplexed if they encountered in our seas, lakes, rivers, and ponds, creatures defined as swimmers that never did any swimming.  But they would be even more surprised to encounter a species defined as a thinking animal if, in fact, the creature very rarely indulged in actual thinking.Steve Allen

Tune: “It’s a genuine stand-alone quirk-pop gem, all parping brass and chintzy keyboard riffs with singalong vocals.” Those are the words of Topher Healy of Rave magazine, referring to “Brainless” by Sunny Day Sets Fire. Once again, a song I was legitimately surprised to find had a very high play count on my iPod. Not because it’s not good – just the opposite – but I had no idea I’d listened to it so much.

Gallimaufry: I love animals but, uh, this is just a bit outlandish in my opinion. Yesterday marked the maiden filght of Pet Airways, an animals-only airline developed by Alysa Binder and Dan Wiesel, a husband and wife who’d become dissatisfied with their Jack Russell terrier’s flying adventures. As of right now, the airline is only offering flights between five major cities – New York, Washington, Chicago, Denver and Los Angles – but they’re all booked solid for the next two months, apparently. Each ticket is around $250, and passengers will be provided a pre-flight bathroom break and checked on every 15 minutes. Basically, if you don’t want your pet to travel in the cargo hold, you can pony up a little more dough (roughly an additional $100 – $200, depending on which airline you’ll be flying), and make sure Fido, most likely, has a more comfortable flying experience than you, yourself, will. Christ. Is the recession over? Did anyone else think it odd that FOX had such a cockeyed angle of President Obama’s first pitch at last night’s 2009 MLB All-Star Game? Even stranger, FOX went immediately to a commercial break and didn’t even air the pitch until a few minutes later, when Obama had joined the team in the broadcasting booth. Turns out, our President isn’t much of a pitcher. After an awkwardly executed toss, the ball just barely made it into the glove of St. Louis Cardinal‘s superstar Albert Pujols, who had already moved up in an attempt to make sure Obama didn’t embarrass himself. “I did not play organized baseball when I was a kid and so, you know, I think some of these natural moves aren’t so natural to me,” said our nation’s leader. It wasn’t the best looking first-pitch of all-time, but, besides a lack of a distance and the fact that he looked like he’d never thrown a ball before, I’d say he got the job done quite nicely. Plus, what the hell is the difference if he can’t throw a strike? He probably can’t kick a field goal, either. Most likely, those skills will never be needed at his current post. It’s usually a good thing when young people are proud to embrace the traditions of their ancestors. Usually. But not always. Anthony Karen shows us in “LIFE Goes Inside Today’s KKK,” that some dumb bullshit will simply never go away. It’s true. Just when the world needs them the least, the Ku Klux Klan is poised to make a comeback. Fantastic. I was just thinking the other day that we were running short on complete dipshits out there, but I’m pretty sure that we’re all set now. Thanks for showing up, fellas.