January 19th, 2012

word

swivet [swiv-it] n. a state of nervous excitement, haste or anxiety; flutter: I was in such a swivet that I could hardly speak.

birthday

Due to yesterday’s Wikipedia blackout over SOPA and PIPA, I won’t be providing people’s birthdays today. Yeah, government is rocking it.

standpoint

So I haven’t been posting. I don’t really have an excuse worth submitting.

Also, I don’t really have a clear standpoint today. But I’m going to share some thoughts I’ve been having and you can deem them a waste of your time or not and let me know after you’re done.

→ The GOP Presidential candidates. Shit. You guys made a huge fucking mistake when you ceased being fun. Bring back Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann because the rest of you guys are sort of hateful and boring. And, c’mon, it’s gonna be Romney. And he’s gonna lose to Obama. And everyone’s gonna spend four more years bitching. I think this is something that, besides those of you who are hoping against hope, we should all just agree on.

→ On a side note, if you GOP clowns are looking to actually back someone I’d be interested in your bringing your very own Jimmy McMillan into these debates. An “exquisitely bearded 64-year old ex-postal worker” who “is no stranger to controversies?” The American public deserves to know more.

Rick Santorum is actually still in the race. Seriously? What the fuck, people? Are there still people out there who believe in what Santorum has to say? Thinly veiled racist and homophobic statements? Rick Santorum embodies the exact opposite direction this country needs to go in. If you disagree with me on that, I encourage you to drive off a fucking bridge. Seriously. If you even know how to use the internet, click on Google Maps, find the nearest bridge and step on the gas pedal. (And, Fox News has once again nailed it right on the head with this superb article that means absolutely nothing to anyone. Great job, Dan Gainor.) See what I did there with all the links? Pretty clever, right? Here’s another.

→ On a lighter note, I think I’m finally coming around to The Office without Steve Carell. Maybe I should’ve put that one first.

quotation

What other people think of me is none of my business. ↔ Gary Oldman

tune

If shown this video to about a dozen people and about eleven of them loved. (The one exception was my good friend Joe who wondered if there was something wrong with me.) Joe’s objections aside, I think this song, and accompanying video is one of the best things I’ve heard in quite some time. Here’s “Losers” from The Belle Brigade.

gallimaufry

→ I wonder if, because of all this social networking, celebrities get pissed at each other when shit like this happens. Will Peyton Manning say something to Rob Lowe the next time their paths cross?

→ Yesterday, while painting a hallway, I listened to NPR’s interview with Nicholas Money and everything he had to say about mushrooms. It didn’t strike me until I was writing this that Samantha and I struggled over which mushroom pizza to order last night at Arpeggio’s. I guess Mr. Money’s description of various fungi didn’t make a dent. Also, if you’re thinking about dining at Arpeggio’s, seriously consider take-out. I’ve gotten better service at 3am from a strung-out diner waitress. Food was good, though.

→ Hey, if Francesco Schettino, the captain of the Costa Concordia says he “tripped” into a lifeboat, than I’m gonna take his word for it. I mean, it’s just too awful an excuse to not be true.

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December 7th, 2011

word

weald [weeld] n. wooded or uncultivated country

birthday

Eli Wallach (1915), Ted Knight (1923), Noam Chomsky (1928), Tom Waits (1949), Larry Bird (1956), C. Thomas Howell (1966), Damien Rice (1973)

standpoint

I’m not breaking new ground here when I state that, Eric Bolling, the host of Fox Business Network’s Follow The Money, is a complete fucking idiot. Like most everyone associated with FoxNews, he’s just an antiquated windbag promoting an absurd agenda and not to be taken seriously.

But this segment is not only ridiculous, it’s mostly pathetic.

It would be easy to pick this video apart and shine a light on why everything Bolling, Dan Gainor and Andrea Tantaros said is just the worst kind of bullshit journalism, but I’m trusting that, after viewing it, you’ll see exactly why people like this are a problem.

If you don’t see it, I’m sorry, but you’re a dipshit.

For Christ’s sake, it’s The Muppets.

quotation

The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it. ↔ Wendell Berry

tune

This is one of the greatest videos I’ve seen in the past couple of weeks. It’s Leslie David Baker, better known as Stanley from The Office, in a real music video for a real song he made.

gallimaufry

Michele Bachmann‘s presidential campaign is often laughable. But this is absolutely awesome. Way to go, little man.

Alec Baldwin may be a funny mofo but he’s definitely a crazy one, as well. Or maybe he’s just really competitive when it comes to Words with Friends.

→ Yeah, this country got lots of shit wrong with it and none of it looks like it’s getting fixed anytime soon so, sure, why not dick around with China? Makes sense to me.

08.24.11 – a wednesday

word

holus-bolus [hoh-luh’s-boh-luh’s] adv. all at once; altogether

birthday

Howard Zinn (1922), Yasser Arafat (1929), Vince McMahon (1945), Anne Archer (1947), Charles Rocket (1949), Mike Huckabee (1955), Steve Guttenberg (1958), Cal Ripken, Jr. (1960), Craig Kilborn (1962), Marlee Matlin (1965), Dave Chappelle (1973),

standpoint

Lots to cover today. Let’s get started.

→ When I’m driving, I often think about the speed limit. Whether it’s 25 mph or 65 mph, we all get kind of pissed when someone is not travelling at, or above, the limit of speed on any given road. I’m wondering if there’s any other aspect of our society in which we have similar expectations.

→ Holy shit, as I’m writing this I’m watching FoxNews’ On The Record with Greta Van Susternen and have come to the conclusion that everyone who has anything to do with this show should be fucking ashamed of themselves. In describing the earthquake, Greta showed why she is on the forefront of responsible journalism with words like, “mass chaos”, “people running for their lives”, “a terrifying 45 seconds which, to many, seemed like a lifetime”, “tremors paralyzed the city”, “some people at the Capitol saying it felt like a plane hitting the building, a very eerie and frightening reminder of 9/11”, and “it was a terrifying afternoon.” The earthquake, while probably caused a great deal of inconvenience to many, didn’t really register than more of a shimmy to those of us who experienced it. What’s worse, it seems like the media was consummately disappointed about the complete lack of casualties as evident in this article’s last line, “Only minor injuries were reported.

→ The folks who work at A&E must have the highest suicide rate of in the history of television. With shows like Hoarders, Relapse, Beyond Scared Straight and Intervention to name a few, it’s pretty much the highlights of how people can screw up their lives. I understand that the premise behind airing these programs is that viewers like to watch to feel better about their own lives but that’s equally pathetic.

quotation

Silence moves faster when it’s going backwards. ↔ Jean Cocteau

tune

I stumbled upon “The Girl” by City and Colour one night while listening to Pandora. The video is good, the song even better.

gallimaufry

If this article is correct, zoos across the world are gonna become overpopulated pretty damn quick.

David Letterman is the alleged target of a fatwa. Craig Ferguson is receiving suspicious mail. Someone out there (Jay Leno) apparently hates the CBS late night lineup.

→ For the rest of their time together, I think it’s entirely safe to say that former NJ State Assemblyman Pat Delany will never ever again lose an argument with his wife. For instance, maybe she sends him to the supermarket for an assortment of items and maybe he comes home with the wrong kind of cereal. She might get annoyed and say something like, “Dammit, Pat, I wrote it down on the list. Why didn’t you look at the list?” Sample rebuttal? “Hey, I stopped reading shit you write ever since you sent that racist email to Carl Lewis.”

04.12.11 – a tuesday

word

milquetoast [milk-tohst] n. a very timid, unassertive, spineless person, especially one who is easily dominated or intimidated: a milquetoast who’s afraid to ask for a raise

birthday

Henry Clay (1777), Beverly Cleary (1916), Tiny Tim (1932), Herbie Hancock (1940), Ed O’Neill (1946), Tom Clancy (1947), David Letterman (1947), David Cassidy (1950), Jon Krakauer (1954), Andy García (1956), Vince Gill (1957), Art Alexakis (1962), Shannen Doherty (1971), Claire Danes (1979)

standpoint

I’ve got an imaginative brain. I am constantly wondering about the world around me. Here’s a new segment called I’m Wondering.

Here’s how it works: each one of the following sentences begin with the words I’m Wondering… Easy enough. Let’s start.

I’m Wondering…

…who out there is actually taking Donald Trump and his inane rhetoric seriously? Obama is fair game but he crossed the line when he attacked The Cos.

…if the dudes on Pawn Stars really know as much as they seem to on the show? Also, is the title supposed to be derivative of the term “pornstars?”

…why B. J. Novak enjoys a top billing during the opening credits of The Office? I know he’s one of the show’s writers and producers but the character he plays is relatively minor.

…if I’m friends with anyone who’s remotely interested in the upcoming Royal Wedding and if they’re concerned that me finding that out will immediately end our friendship?

…how in the world it took this long for Glenn Beck to get the ax from Fox News? Who was buying what that clown was selling anyway?

quotation

To poke a wood fire is more solid enjoyment than almost anything in the world. ↔ Charles Dudley Warner

tune

Tragic tales of music bands are a dime-a-dozen but they’re especially sad when a freak car accident kills two members a mere month before the release of their debut album. Such was the case with For Squirrels, a mid-90s group from Florida that could’ve gone on to do great things. Here’s “Mighty KC.”

gallimaufry

Coldwater, Michigan gets it. Now let’s follow its lead and start making sense.

→ The upcoming months will feature new releases by elbow, Foo Fighters, TV On the Radio, Gorillaz, Pinback, Regina Spektor, I’m From Barcelona, Explosions In the Sky, Steve Earle, Times New Viking, Architecture In Helsinki, Beastie Boys, Fleet Foxes, The Felice Brothers, Here We Go Magic, Okkervil River, The Sea and the Cake, David Bazan and Death Cab for Cutie to name just a few. It’s no Spring 2010 but it’ll do, right?

→ How is this for a sad story? The Winklevoss twins pitched a business concept to Mark Zuckerberg, a guy roughly about ten times smarter than the two of them combined. He steals their idea and creates arguably the most successful business in the history of humanity. They get pissed, sue and get $65 million (now worth $160 million) for basically doing nothing but having an original idea. And now some court has, in essence, told them, “Move on. Enough is enough.” It’s pretty damn disheartening when two spoiled nitwits,who are all ready worth a couple hundred million, are told to stop wasting everyone’s time. This is still the USA, right?

03.30.11 – a wednesday

word

taradiddle [tar-uhdid-l] n. 1. a small lie; fib 2. pretentious nonsense

birthday

Francisco Goya (1746), Vincent van Gogh (1853), Richard Dysart (1929), Warren Beatty (1937), Eric Clapton (1945), Paul Reiser (1957), Tracy Chapman (1964), Piers Morgan (1965), Celine Dion (1968), Norah Jones (1979)

standpoint

I have been fantasizing about starting a segment called For Christ’s Sake, Let’s Focus, a place where I can elucidate crap society is actually concerned about instead of what it should be. And today, the fantasy becomes a reality. Let’s start.

“Kevin Federline’s Girlfriend Expecting His Fifth Child” – This was on the front page of FoxNews.com. Is this newsworthy? Federline was famous for about nine minutes while he was married to Britney Spears who is herself struggling to remain famous. Big news.

“Cavaliers top LeBron, Heat 102-90” – LeBron upset the whole city of Cleveland by leaving for Miami. This story was one of the most popular last night on every major news website. Hey, Cleveland, the dude is gone. Get your shit together.

“Season 5 of ‘Mad Men’ Is Delayed Until 2012” – Wow. What in the hell is this world coming to? How will we move on? Stop playing God, Matthew Weiner.

“First Celebrity Bounced From ‘Dancing'” – That’s Dancing With The Stars, by the way, and that first celebrity happened to be none other than Mike Catherwood. You read that right. Mike Catherwood. Oh. You don’t know who the hell that is either? Phew. Thought I was out of the loop.

“Sis Throws Kate Middleton’s Bachelorette Party” – I love the first line from this one: “If you were looking for an invitation to Kate Middleton’s bachelorette party, too late – you’ve all ready missed it.” Even I’m at a loss for words with this one. So so so sad.

That’s it for now. I’m too annoyed to go on. Civilization is headed down the wrong road.

quotation

I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do. ↔ Lenny Bruce

tune

I make no secret of how I tend to gravitate toward fantastic lyrics like the ones featured in “Back In the Saddle” by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. Listen closely. You might learn a little something, people.

gallimaufry

Philadelphia, can we please just resolve this issue? One way or the other, let’s just go with it all ready.

Breaking news: Facebook not a good idea for teens. No way.

Unfortunately, I think these folks may be right. Stupid experts.

03.19.10 – A Friday

word

tome [tohm] n. 1. a book, esp. a very heavy, large, or learned book 2. a volume forming a part of a larger work

birthday

William Bradford (1890), Wyatt Earp (1848), William Jennings Bryan (1860), Earl Warren (1891), Moms Mabley (1894), Irving Wallace (1916), Richie Ashburn (1927), Phillip Roth (1933), Ursula Andress (1936), Sirhan Sirhan (1944), Glenn Close (1947), Harvey Weinstein (1952), Bruce Willis (1955), Andy Reid (1958)

standpoint

Drums, please. Once again, it’s time for another installment of the Wishing Well, a weekly post detailing wrongs I wanted to see righted in this decaying world of ours.

I WISH everyone would stop with the, “I told you so’s,” about Philadelphia 76ers guard Allen Iverson. Like many of us, the fellow has his share of problems. Why is it that when people like A.I. start facing his their demons, most of us feel the need to point out how right we were all along? Cut the dude some slack, for crying out loud. Compassion is truly dead.

I WISH we’d all just agree to the fact that FOX News, like most other news channels, is a bunch of right-wing nonsense. Why are we still having this debate? Are people really that stupid? Don’t answer that. I’m all ready down on people to know the answer.

I WISH I’d never seen the footage of former Olympic skier Bill Johnson‘s crash on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. It made me so uneasy, I won’t even post it here.

I WISH I never read another “helpful” piece, or hear anyone complain, about how we are losing our privacy online. Seriously, folks, let’s get stop trying to figure out what’s wrong with the internet and start a nationwide search for our common sense.

I WISH I was at this year’s SXSW. Next year, I’ll be there. Try to stop me suckas!

What about you, people? What are you wishing for?

quotation

Paranoids are not paranoid because they’re paranoid, but because they keep putting themselves, fucking idiots, deliberately into paranoid situations.Thomas Pynchon

tune

One of the best kept secrets of the Philadelphia music scene, although he shouldn’t be because he’s that damn good, is Ben Arnold. He’s been playing around here for two decades now and, if you ever have the opportunity, you should definitely check out one of his live shows. Here’s “So Low.”

gallimaufry

I’ve never met Lerato Nomvuyo Mzamane but, for this alone, I love the woman. Let’s all hope she puts Oprah in her proper place.

→ When I read garbage like this, I’m absolutely certain, sooner or later, no one will be allowed to do anything at all. Ever.

→ Holy shit. When I grow up, I want to be exactly like this guy.

→ For the record, I’ll have nothing to say about college basketball, which is currently experiencing an episode of “madness,” due to an overall dearth of fondness for the proceedings.

01.07.10 – A Thursday

WORD

libertine [lib-er-teen, -tin] n. 1. a person who is morally or sexually unrestrained, esp. a dissolute man; a profligate; rake 2. a freethinker in religious matters 3. a person freed from slavery in ancient Rome adj. 4. free of moral, esp. sexual, restraint; dissolute; licentious 5. freethinking in religious matters 6. Archaic. unrestrained; uncontrolled

BIRTHDAY

Millard Fillmore (1800), Kenny Loggins (1948), Steven Williams (1949), Erin Gray (1950), David Caruso (1956), Nicolas Cage (1964), Doug E. Doug (1970), Jeremy Renner (1971), Dustin Diamond (1977)

STANDPOINT

Today, rather than looking back on the year that was, I’d like to focus on the year to come. 2010 (or 2KX as some are calling it) needs to better in lots of ways by eliminating some of the awfulness of 2009. Here’s some people and things I’d like to see go away this upcoming year.

  • War – I’m not exactly the most politically aware person alive but I do know that all the garbage this country is involved with in the Middle East is just that – garbage. Bring our friends and family, serving in the military, home. What good has come from all this bloodshed anyway? Not a goddamn thing.
  • Glenn Beck – I have trouble imagining that even the most right-wing of individuals out there aren’t sick of listening to this jackass get up on his brokedown soapbox and declare how unfit President Obama is with thinly veiled racist commentary. Even the folks at FOX News have to be embarrassed for their involvement with Beck by now.
  • The Bad Economy – I have stated this before: I’ve a very rudimentary understanding of economic matters. It’s true. But I’m smart enough to ascertain a good portion of these hard times is perpetuated by fear. We need to concentrate on good ideas and viable solution in the interest of fixing what’s wrong and stop reporting on and worrying about what’s all ready transpired. Unfortunately, the collective selfishness of our society combined with the total inability of our government to cooperate with each other will pretty much guarantee that won’t happen.
  • Complaining – I am dog tired of finger pointing and whining. If you want something to change, get out there and work to make it happen. Otherwise, I cordially invite you to shut the fuck up and go about your day. Thank you.
  • Celebrity Culture – Even if you’re someone like me, and you actively try to dodge all the nonsense out there being reported as news, it’s unavoidable. It’s bothersome. Do I care that some dude on some reality television show left his wife and eight kids? Sucks for the kids, but it’s not my problem. Does it bother me that professional athletes take performance enhancing drugs? Sure, it’s dishonest but I’m not entirely sure why I should be concerned. Do I really need to know that the guy who played Batman flipped out on the set of some movie? Seems like he has some anger issues but I’ll never meet him so it’s not truly upsetting. The truth is that if we spent as much time concentrating on real problems and less time spying on the entertainers of the world, it might actually be the start of resolving some stuff.
QUOTATION

Let’s be very honest about what this is about. It’s not about bashing Democrats, it’s not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don’t know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.Janeane Garofalo

TUNE

Been listening to a lot of Blind Pilot. For the time being, “Poor Boy” is my favorite.

GALLIMAUFRY

Actor Gary Coleman was hospitalized yesterday after complaining of not feeling well. Here’s hoping you have a speedy recovery, brother.

→ How could next week possibly suck? Vampire Weekend and Spoon releasing albums on the same day? Shit, yeah.

→ I’ve been trying to find the perfect time to share this piece from The Onion about Michael Vick. I figure, what with the Philadelphia Eagles most likely en route to a first round exit from the playoffs, now’s as good a time as any. It’s meant to be funny and it is. But I think it is the possibly the most honest thing written about Vick in the past year.