November 7, 2011

word

quean [kween] n. 1. an overly forward, impudent woman; shrew; hussy 2. a prostitute 3. British Dialect. a girl or young woman, especially a robust one

birthday

Leon Trotsky (1879), Albert Camus (1913), Billy Graham (1918), Joni Mitchell (1941), David Petraeus (1952), King Kong Bundy (1957), Dana Plato (1964), Morgan Spurlock (1970)

standpoint

There’s very few bars left that allow smoking, and the place where I work is not one of them but here’s a curious little side effect to the smoking ban: people bringing their small infant or child to the bar. It’s always a younger couple meeting up with childless friends. They’ll come in and announce, “Oh, we don’t need a table, we’re just gonna hang at the bar. Is that cool?” Despite the suggestions of the staff that they might be more comfortable at a table, they insist that (a) their baby is so well-behaved, he or she will be fine in the carrier and will most likely sleep the entire time and (b) other places let them do it all of the time (a lie) and there’s never a problem (another lie).

And 99.9% of the time, the first 30 minutes are uneventful. But inevitably, the crying starts or, worse, the shouting out of incomprehensible words and phrases. Yes, I fully understand this is what children do. It is not lost on me.

But lots of people who come to sit at a bar are doing so precisely because it’s supposed to be a child-free zone. They desire to eat a meal in peace while participating in some adult conversation. And, while they may smile politely each time a baby is disrupting that peace, they secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) wish the people who brought the baby would use a little common sense and remove themselves from the area. But that rarely happens. Instead, they’ll most likely spring the baby from the carrier and place he or she on top of the bar, creating an even bigger spectacle. The parents are under the impression that since they firmly believe their baby is the most amazing specimen to ever draw breath, everyone else will feel the exact same way with the proper exposure. And it never works out that way. The other customers begin to mutter under their breath or ask for their bill and leave. When the couple finally do pack up shop and leave (with the baby, of course) everyone looks at me and asks questions like, “Since when are babies allowed at the bar?” or “How can people be so oblivious?” I have no answer for these questions because to answer them would be violating basic hospitality business axioms that state you shouldn’t badmouth customers to other customers.

But if I allowed myself to say whatever I wanted, it might go something like this: “When you have a baby, one of the main things you’re giving up, unless you find someone to babysit, is the ability to sit at a bar and drink. It’s different if you come in at 2:30 in the afternoon while the bar is empty and want to get a quick bite to eat during off time. But when you come in at 6:00 pm and want to prop your baby up in his or her carrier on a barstool and have multiple drinks, well, I’m sorry but that’s not okay. There’s such a thing as common courtesy and those kinds of parents need to look into it.”

I’ll never say anything like that to my customers but something needs to be said eventually.

quotation

When love is not madness, it is not love. ↔ Pedro Calderón de la Barca

tune

My buddy Tim loves this song. I gotta agree with him, it’s pretty solid. Like Stars meets The Pogues. Here’s “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men.

gallimaufry

→ Holy shit. This clip from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart would’ve probably been good enough with just Donald Trump’s idiotic comments but Ann Coulter makes me want to move to another country.

→ What a great example of damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t.

→ If you’re looking for an incredibly obvious news story, look no further and just click here.

→ Sorry, everyone, no sports coverage today. I know you were dying for it.

05.17.11 – a tuesday

word

carrel [kar-uhl] n. 1. also called cubicle, stall, a small recess or enclosed area in a library stack, designed for individual study or reading 2. a table or desk with three sides extending above the writing surface to serve as partitions, designed for individual study, as in a library

birthday

Maureen O’Sullivan (1911), Dennis Hopper (1936), Taj Mahal (1942), Bill Paxton (1955), Sugar Ray Leonard (1956), Bob Saget (1956), Enya (1961), Craig Ferguson (1962), Trent Reznor (1965), Matthew McGrory (1973) 

standpoint

I went to grade school with Matthew McGrory (see the last name in today’s birthday section). He was a year older than me. I remember him vividly from back then due to the fact he was literally larger than life.

Years later, I was sitting with some friends, watching Big Fish and there was Matthew, sharing a scene with Ewan McGregor. I was psyched for him. I can state with relative certainty everyone watching the movie with me that night would say something like, “At first, I thought it was cool that Josh knew the guy who played the giant. But eventually his inability to shut the hell up about it proved to be a huge distraction. I had to re-watch it again a few days later.”

I was sad to learn a short while ago that Matthew passed away at the age of 32. Here’s a tribute video I found on YouTube.

quotation

The chimpanzee who is flying in space took off at 10:08. He reports that everything is perfect and working well. ↔ John F. Kennedy

tune

All types of people like to rail on Will Smith. He’s not “hardcore” enough or “real” enough or something similar. But, the dude makes catchy songs. Also, I’ve met him on three different occasions and he seemed like a decent sort. Plus, he made the best shore anthem ever, fittingly named…”Summertime.”

gallimaufry

Last night I saw Doug Benson at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. I have to give the guy props for putting on a great show while completely annihilated.

→ For those of you in the food and beverage industry, you need to read this for a little inspiration.

→ This sucks. I thought it was for real. But, as it turns out, he may have just been screwing around with the American public. If we can’t trust Donald Trump, who in the hell do we look to now?

05.12.11 – a thursday

word

hubris [hyoo-bris, hoo-] n. excessive pride or self-confidence; arrogance

birthday

Florence Nightingale (1820), Katharine Hepburn (1907), Yogi Berra (1925), Burt Bacharach (1928), Tom Snyder (1936), George Carlin (1938), Steve Winwood (1948), Gabriel Byrne (1950), Billy Squier (1950), Ving Rhames (1959), Emilio Estevez (1962), Tony Hawk (1968), Jason Biggs (1978)

standpoint

I’ve been promising this for the last year or two but it’s finally going to happen. euneJeune – true story will be resurrected from the dead. The existing 13 stories will be revamped in ways that might make them marginally less accurate but exponentially more entertaining. And, for all of you who have sent me emails asking for new stories, (some emails were more demanding than others, I’m talking to you, Bill McLeer), you’ll finally get your wish.

quotation

People who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they’d never admit in normal conversation. ↔ Chuck Klosterman

tune

The New Pornographers are one of the best bands I’ve ever seen live. And “Sing Me Spanish Techno” was one of the best songs they performed that night.

gallimaufry

We all knew that, if we were just patient enough and played our cards right, this story would be told. Citizens of Earth, it’s a glorious and fulfilling day!

→ All of you geniuses out there pontificating as to why these natural disasters keep happening around the world and more specifically here in our country, I am formally requesting you take the energy you’re expending and channel it to spread the word about this.

Words With Friends. Usurping Angry Birds as society’s greatest time waster? Maybe. Challenge me to a game (eunejeune) and we’ll discuss it in the chat room as we play.