03.21.11 – a monday

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word

insipid [in-sip-id] adj. 1. without distinctive, interesting or stimulating qualities; vapid: an insipid personality 2. without sufficient taste to be pleasing, as food or drink; bland: a rather insipid soup

birthday

Johann Sebastian Bach (1685), Pierre Renoir (1885), Julio Gallo (1910), Russ Meyer (1922), Solomon Burke (1940), Timothy Dalton (1946), Eddie Money (1949), Gary Oldman (1958), Matthew Broderick (1962), Rosie O’Donnell (1962), Rhys Darby (1974)

standpoint

Starting a new kind of installment this fine Monday. I’m calling it Please Stop Talking! Basically, it’s a laundry list of individuals or groups of individuals whose mouths should be sewn shut.

All of you fantastic Americans who are griping about how we shouldn’t be “wasting our money” helping the people of Japan when there’s “people in this country suffering.” How exactly are you helping out here at home? Oh, you’re not?

→  Everyone who’s got some flippant remark about the tragedy in Japan. Especially those who reference “sushi” or “karaoke” or something equally clever. There are real people over there, dipshits.

Charlie Sheen. For the absolute love of god, Charlie Sheen.

Staunch Republicans. Also, staunch Democrats. In addition, anyone entertaining the idea of becoming a staunch Republican or Democrat. Simmer down. There’s some of us doing some actual thinking. We’ll let you know how it turns out.

Those of you who think you’re somehow more enlightened than the rest of us and are just dying to tell the world all about your take on things. Before you get started, you need to know you’re wrong and you always will be.

Seth Rogen. You’re hapless and go-lucky. You smoke pot and watch porn. You continue to fall ass-backwards into an increasingly charming fate. We get it. We’re over it. Your turn.

quotation

I’m going to simultaneously record an album, direct a movie, and write a novel about how living in suburbia is satisfying and terrific. ↔ Chuck Klosterman

tune

All you hipsters out there can say what you want about Ben Folds. I’ll admit, he’s lost a step in his past few albums or so but the guy is a consummate performer and puts on one hell of a show. Check out this video and, hopefully, you’ll see what I mean.

gallimaufry

Hey, Bret Michaels, thanks for sharing. How are you still valid? Please explain.

→ I’m sure it’s going to make my good friend Joe Taylor’s day when I state the following: I’m actually watching some college hoops this time around, something that, more than once, I’ve publicly proclaimed I would never do. Still not going to link to it on my blog. I’m sure they’ll be fine without my traffic.

→ Love this headline: “Pentagon: Gadhafi forces in disarray after assault.” You think? After “missions that used stealth B-2 bombers, jet fighters, more than 120 Tomahawk cruise missiles and other high-tech weapons,” I’d be psyched if I was Gadhafi to be in “disarray.” It’s how I spent most of my twenties and early thirties. Truthfully, it wasn’t that bad. On a side note, can we get a ruling on how to actually spell the dude’s name? Does it actually start with a “G?” Or is it a “Q?” Wasn’t there a “u” in there at some point? I understand we’re dealing with different alphabets here but, before we move forward with “Operation: Disarray,” let’s nail it down. We’re better than this, people.

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03.15.10 – A Monday

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word

lachrymose [lak-ruh-mohs] adj. 1. suggestive of or tending to cause tears; mournful 2. given to shedding tears readily; tearful

birthday

Andrew Jackson (1767), Eduard Strauss (1835), Lightnin’ Hopkins (1912), Lawrence Tierney (1919), Cecil Taylor (1929), Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933), Judd Hirsch (1935), Jimmy Swaggart (1935), Phil Lesh (1940), Mike Love (1941), Sly Stone (1944), Ry Cooder (1947), Dee Snider (1955), Terence Trent D’Arby (1962), Bret Michaels (1963), Mark McGrath (1968), Mark Hoppus (1972), Eva Longoria (1975), Will.i.am (1975), Joe Hahn (1977), Takeru Kobayashi (1978)

standpoint

Today’s Standpoint is going to be short and sweet.

Over the weekend, I coined a phrase that, I feel, is a surefire bet to find its way into the cultural lexicon.

You’re most likely heard people discussing the latest “It Movie”, the one all the with-it folks are lining up to see, over and over again.

A recent example would be Avatar. Last year, it was The Hangover. But these are not just “It Movies”, they’re “Yet Movies”. Only a short while ago, I was having dinner at my parents’ house, which is something I love to do but don’t do enough, and my mother posed the question, “Joshua, have you seen Avatar yet?” I laughed a little and responded, “I’m trying to get to the theater to see it, but American Idol is on so damn much, frankly, I’m having trouble finding a night to get out of the house.”

Obviously, I was joking. She wasn’t the first person in my life to ask me a similar question. Seeing Avatar hasn’t earned a spot on my top 100 things to do, and sitting through an episode of American Idol will probably never crack the top 500. The phrasing of the question struck me as odd.

It was the last word – YET. “Have you filed your taxes yet?” “Have you taken a shower yet?” “Christ, are you ready yet?” Those are all questions insinuating an action that’ll eventually needed to be completed. As if it’ll only be a matter of time before I’ll be compelled to capitulate. Apparently, it’s such a fantastic film, I’ve got an obligation, as a member of the human race, one day I’ll find myself watching Avatar and, for no other reason than just because.

I don’t mean to pick on Avatar and I patiently listen to those who castigate me for not seeing it, especially since it’s “so kickass” in 3-D. Before we know it, there’s going to be another movie to take its place, one I probably won’t be falling over myself to rush out and see.

And everyone will be asking me, “Dude, why haven’t you seen it yet?” I won’t have a response that’ll ease their uneasiness. But, I might try to make them feel a little better by telling them about that night back in March when I coined the phrase “The Yet Movie.” You heard it here first.

quotation

…And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it’s enough. I really do because they’ve made me happy. And I’m only one person.Stephen Chbosky

tune

Until recently, Charles Mingus was the most overlooked jazz musician of his time. The guy was both a genius and a mess. His autobiography, Beneath the Underdog: His World As Composed by Mingus,  is still one of the best books I’ve ever read. Lately, when people talk about the big jazz legends, Mingus’ name is being mentioned more and more. And that’s a great thing because, while the guy didn’t receive his due credit during his lifetime, it’s better late than never. Here’s “Myself When I Am Real.” A good title to a great song.

gallimaufry

Back in high school, I pretty much did everything I wasn’t supposed, within reasonable limits. I could’ve easily been one of these kids. Luckily, most of my teachers were men and sleeping with a teacher was at least one thing I spared my parents from having to deal with. And for that,Mom and Dad, you’re welcome.

What a shitty day this lady had. At the completion of her jog, some assjack tried to sexually assault her. She escaped by literally jumping off of a friggin’ cliff. Then the dude takes off on her car. She escaped with minor injuries and she’s okay, but still, she was just trying to get a little exercise. Hey, perverts, in case you’re unaware, I’m here to enlighten you: You suck.

→ I know I’ve plugged these guys before but, the way I see it, there’s nothing stopping me from doing it again, After all, when it comes to the content on this blog, I’m my own boss. (And a good one at that.) If you’re considering getting a tattoo or a body piercing and you’re in the Philadelphia area, the only shop you need consider is Liberty Tattoo in Skippack Village, PA. The folks who run the joint are not only friends of mine but have a fantastic reputation in their line of work. Don’t go anywhere else.