07.05.11 – a tuesday

word

barmecidal [bahr-muhsahyd-l] adj. giving only the illusion of plenty; illusory: a barmecidal banquet

birthday

P. T. Barnum (1810), Robbie Robertson (1943), Huey Lewis (1950), Bill Watterson (1958), Edie Falco (1963)

standpoint

I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. As I wrote last week, I spent some time at the family vacation homestead down in Avalon NJ, and, truthfully, it was one of my favorite in a long list of memorable jaunts.

It’s summertime, people, so get out there and take some jaunts of your own. You won’t regret it, I promise.

In any case, tomorrow I will be back to business as usual,, spouting off in my quotidian manner, blurring the lines between optimism and misanthropy as best I can.

(Note: Be forewarned, there will be a post sometime this week about the current state of the Philadelphia Flyers. And, yes, I’m fully aware that it won’t be insanely popular but I need to get it off my chest, so just bear with me.)

quotation

I never give up and I keep talking until I get what I want ↔ Jerry Weintraub

tune

I used to listen to this song all of the time in college. Yesterday, it played on my iPod and I thought I would share it with you today – “What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?” by R.E.M.

gallimaufry

There’s nothing wrong with this. We just have to realize that sometimes things need to change.

→ So far this season, Louie is not really doing it for me. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop watching, I’ll probably watch the whole season no matter what. I am, however, optimistic about Wilfred. I mean how in the world can you screw up a show with such a great concept?

→ While on the beach last week, I blew through When I Stop Talking, You’ll Know I’m Dead: Useful Stories From a Persuasive Man, the memoir of Jerry Weintraub. Not the most important book I’ve ever picked up, but definitely one of the most entertaining and inspirational.

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02.03.10 – A Wednesday

WORD

quibble [kwibuhl] n. 1. an instance of the use of ambiguous, prevaricating, or irrelevant language or arguments to evade a point at issue 2. the general use of such arguments 3. petty or carping criticism; a minor objection v. (used w/o object) 4. to equivocate 5. to carp; cavil

BIRTHDAY

Elizabeth Blackwell (1821), Gertrude Stein (1864), Norman Rockwell (1894), Pretty Boy Floyd (1904), James Michener (1907), Joey Bishop (1918), Nathan Lane (1956), Maura Tierney (1965), Sean Kingston (1990)

STANDPOINT

Today, I’ve got nothing. Well, that’s not exactly true. There’s tons and tons of garbage that’s bothering me but I need to further organize my thoughts. Thanks for reading. Come back tomorrow for some more.

QUOTATION

Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders…and millions have been killed because of this obedience…Our problem is that people are obedient allover the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves… (and) the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.Howard Zinn

TUNE

Hipsters everywhere simply love themselves some Arcade Fire. And maybe I do, too. But only to a point. I’m not particularly gushing over everything the band does. (I’m sure, somehow, that makes me a bad person.) But I still really get into the first song I ever heard by Win Butler and crew – “Rebellion (Lies)”

GALLIMAUFRY

→ I think some of the reason “Calvin and Hobbes” still finds an audience today is because I chose not to run the wheels off it. That’s one of the statements Bill Watterson made in a recent interview, his first in about 15 years. I’m one of the millions of people who wish he was still creating “Calvin and Hobbes,” but after reading what he had to say, I’m kind of glad he stopped. But only kind of.

→ A website called IJustMadeLove.com? Are you fucking joking? Oh, you’re not? Christ.

→ When I read pieces like “New Spider-Man Device Could Let Humans Walk on Walls,” it’s one of the rare instances I feel like, all right, someone out there’s listening.

12.22.09 – A Tuesday

WORD

chutzpah [KHoot-spuh, hoot-] n. SLANG 1. unmitigated effrontery or impudence; gall 2. unmitigated effrontery or impudence; gall

BIRTHDAY

James Oglethorpe (1696), Connie Mack (1862), Kenneth Rexroth (1905), Lady Bird Johnson (1912), Barbara Billingsley (1915), Hector Elizondo (1936), Steve Carlton (1944), Diane Sawyer (1945), Maurice Gibb (1949), Robin Gibb (1949), Jean-Michel Basquiat (1960), Luther Campbell (1970), Ralph Fiennes (1962)

STANDPOINT

I’m mostly certain being a weatherman is an anxious occupation.

We’re a news driven society.

Local news programming is the main source for everything we supposedly need to know. And, unlike the lead anchors who report on all of the awful shit that happened that day, or the sports guy who recaps the results of daily sporting events, the weatherman’s job is different. Most days, most everyone went outside and experienced the weather first hand. So the weatherman’s main purpose is not to tell us what already happened.

He’s asked to predict what’ll happen tomorrow. And the four days after that.

And that fucking sucks for the weatherman because when he predicts inclimate weather and he’s right, everyone point the finger at him as if he weaved some sort of spell and conjured up a brutal snowstorm, just because he could somehow. But when he’s wrong about the weather in any way, people throw up their hands, and curse the guy because, hey, he said it was going to rain and it didn’t and so I needlessly carried this umbrella around all day long.

Right or wrong, everyone complains about the weatherman.

 

QUOTATION

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special!  How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…. Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?Bill Watterson

TUNE

Sometimes a band can have a solid song going on but they make a video to go along with it that’s kind of bad judgement. Case in point, Wheat‘s “Don’t I Hold You.”

GALLIMAUFRY

→ It’s sort of nuts when a basketball player, who went into the stands to assault fans during a game, makes a strong argument for Tiger Woods. But that’s exactly what Ron Artest did on his blog a few days ago.

→ Want to understand my problem with supposedly indie-rock websites? Check out Pitchfork’s Top 50 albums of 2009. I agree with about four of its choices. Apparently, even those who are supposed to be in possession of a discerning ear now have an agenda. Sad. Truly.

→ I’m about 94% sure I’ve never read any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s works about the legendary Sherlock Holmes. I’m equally certain the upcoming movie Sherlock Holmes, starring an alarmingly buff Robert Downey Jr., isn’t going to be completely accurate to Doyle’s original vision of the character. But I don’t care. It looks kind of bad-ass. Despite the fact Jude Law is in it.

11.25.09 – A Wednesday

WORD

sang-froid [Fr. sahN-fRwA] n.  coolness of mind; calmness; composure: They committed the robbery with complete sang-froid

BIRTHDAY

Andrew Carnegie (1835), Eddie Shore (1902), Joe DiMaggio (1914), Percy Sledge (1941), Ben Stein (1944), John Larroquette (1947), Amy Grant (1960), John F. Kennedy Jr. (1960), Mark Lanegan (1964), Christina Applegate (1971), Donovan McNabb (1976), Dolla (1987)

STANDPOINT

One of my greatest friends is Joe. I’ve mentioned him before. He’s someone special.

And he’s also kind of this blog’s watchdog. When I miss a day (or three), or post something subpar, Joe’s the first one to let me know, whether through a scathing comment on a particular post, a verbal tirade on GMail chat, or an obscenity-laden phone call. Most of these responses center on his annoyance with the fact I call this the daily euneJeune, and I’m not exactly stringent about the whole “daily” thing.

I love it. Because it comes from Joe and he’s one of the few people out there in the world who knows me very well, and wants to be my friend anyway.

Also, Joe and I have two things in common: (a) We’re able to drink more alcohol than any two people at any bar anywhere, and (b) We’re most likely the funniest people you’ll ever meet. And, no, the alcohol has nothing to do with why we think we’re a goddam riot. Although it doesn’t hurt.

In any case, Joe and I have this routine of exchanging late night texts, mainly because each of us know the other is most likely awake and not sober. 99% of the texts’ subject material has to do with movie quotes. And of that 99%, probably 98% deal directly with the obscure black comedy, Clifford, starring Charles Grodin and Martin Short.

As a tribute to my friend Joe, I offer the following video clip.

 

QUOTATION

I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long.  If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can play together all night.Bill Watterson

TUNE

I’ve always loved the lyrics and music of Procol Harum‘s “A Whiter Shade of Pale.” It came on yesterday at the perfect time. And, so, I now share it with you.

GALLIMAUFRY

→ As we all knew it would, Antarctica has declared war on New Zealand. Tired of living in the shadow of its more “tourist-friendly” neighbor, the frozen wasteland has launched hundreds of icebergs in a desperate attempt to get some headlines. Some experts are saying it’s not an attack at all and probably has something to do with global warming. Other experts are saying there’s too much ice in Antarctica and it’s natural to jettison some of the dead weight. The same experts also suggested people get off global warming’s back. However, all the experts agree the iceberg assault will have little effect on New Zealand, prompting a disheartened Antarctica to go back to the drawing board.

→ Finally, MTV makes a show I would actually watch  – about a squad of young Italian summertime renters at the Jersey shore – cleverly titled “Jersey Shore,” and wouldn’t you know it? There’s a group of Italian-Americans that wants to block it. Of course.

→ No new posts until Monday. What with the holiday and all. Also, be careful out there tonight. It’s the biggest bar night of the year. And drunk idiots make it suck pretty hard. Just take the following advice: Make sure to drive fast and take chances. OK. It’s not really advice.

 

04.17.09 – Friday

Word: quixotic [kwik-sot-ik] adj. 1. (sometimes initial capital letter) resembling or befitting Don Quixote 2. extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical or impracticable 3. impulsive or rashly unpredictable

Birthday: J.P. Morgan (1837), Thornton Wilder (1897), Harry Reasoner (1923), Jan Hammer (1948), Rowdy Roddy Piper (1954), Michael Sembello (1954), Nick Hornby (1957), Maynard James Keenan (1964), Liz Phair (1967), Redman (1970), Jennifer Garner (1972), Victoria Beckham (1974)

Occurence: 1790 – In Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin passes away at the age of 84.

Standpoint: In doing my daily research for this blog, I come across a lot of the same names. Some of these names I would prefer to never hear again. So, I decided to make a list of 5 People I Would Like To See Move To Another Planet. Here’s the first five people (in no particular order) I’d like to put on a vessel headed for another planet and what I’d say to them before I kicked them inside and sealed the hatch.

  • Glenn BeckFOX News Talk Show Host – “I’m sorry, Mr. Beck, but we just don’t need people like you anymore. Once upon a time, we liked it when our TV personalities stirred up the pot and whipped people into a frenzy for no good reason . It was fun to watch. But now, the stakes are too high. I’m afraid we need responsible broadcasting in this day and age. I know what you’re going to say. FOX News will just put someone else in your place. But we’ve all got our fingers crossed that person will be a little smarter and not half as loud. Here’s to hoping.”
  • Miley CyrusTeenage Music and Movie Superstar – “This is really delaying the inevitable, Miss Cyrus. In a couple of years, you won’t be famous anymore and no one will care where you are. So you might as well be on another planet. Maybe there, you can get a fresh start and actually make something of yourself without your dad, Billy Ray Cyrus. We know this will probably break his (achy-breaky) heart, but we’re looking to do what is best for everyone. We’ve packed your Radiohead CDs for the trip. Enjoy.”
  • Tom GreenInternet Talk Show Host – “Mr. Green, I’ve watched your internet talk show. You don’t seem as annoying as you did on MTV, a few years back. You were doing fine, conducting harmless interviews with Andrew “Dice” Clay, Kathy Griffin and other inconsequential celebrities. But you got greedy. You went on “Celebrity Apprentice” and reminded us that you are someone whose only comedic value rests in your ability to annoy. We’ve had enough.”
  • Paris HiltonHotel Heiress – “Miss Hilton, you’re innocuous enough. You seem to enjoy dabbling in all sorts of stuff. Music, television, fragrances. It appears you have a wide array of interests. We’re not sure how you became famous or even how you’ve managed to stay that way. Sadly, this might not even be your own doing. But we gotta get rid of you. There’s just too many people who care about your activities and we have to make you disappear so that those people can do more productive things with their time. Like monitor the Ashton Kutcher-CNN Twitter race.” [Note: The race is over. Ashton Kutcher won.]
  • MadonnaInternational Music Superstar –  “Hey, Madonna, you had a good run. But when you’re a younger woman and you want to, say, adopt a kid from a third-world country, we think you’re doing a great thing. When you’re your age and you seem to be amassing kids for no good reason, we think you’re creepy. We just wanted you to tour once in a while and sing ‘Material Girl’ and other former hits from your impressive catalog.  But you’ve pushed us too far. Don’t worry about your babies. We’re taking them over to Angelina Jolie‘s.”

Weekend: Each Friday, I’ll give you the 3 Things To Do In Philly When You’re Dead – my list of things to do in Philadelphia this weekend as if it’s your last. 

  • Today (04.17) –  3 Dollar Dance PartyWorld Cafe Live – Described as “an up and coming dance party made for everyone regardless of race, sexuality or background.” Since I’ve lost all the weight (50lbs. in the past year), I’ve noticed that I’m not a half-bad dancer. I’m not skilled, but I’m certainly not a liabilty out on the dance floor. And it sounds like it would be a cool crowd. Time: 11pm
  • Saturday (04.18) – Fresh Fish 2.0 Ten Minute Play FestivalWalking Fish Theatre – Often, people say, “Finally! Something for the A.D.D. crowd!” Well, in this instance, it’s kind of true. Brought to you by B. Somebody Productions, Fresh Fish 2.0 boasts “eight different plays with eight different directors and loads of different actors.” Time: 8pm
  • Sunday (04.19) – Cezanne and BeyondPhiladelphia Art Museum – A large collection (40 paintings and 20 watercolors) are showcased “alongside works by several artists for whom Cezanne has been a central inspiration and whose work reflects , both visually and poetically, Cezanne’s extraordinary legacy.” This exhibit is running through May 31st, so you’ve got some time. But why wait? Time: All Day

Quotation: Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless Bill Watterson

Tune: Yesterday, I asked my friend Ezgi to name her favorite song in heavy rotation right now. She replied, “‘Stars of Track and Field’ by Belle and Sebastian.” Take a listen.

Gallimaufry: In Philadelphia, it will soon become  illegal to use your cell phone while operating anything on wheels. Now what will all the drivers in front of me to occupy their time while they go 5mph in a 35mph zone? Ah, why am I worried? I’m sure they’ll figure something out…I’m pleased to say that I’ve discovered the reason reality television was invented. Keshia Knight Pulliam (Rudy from TV’s “The Cosby Show”) is finally getting her own reality show. My only question: What took so long?…After three decades, John Madden is calling it quits. The NFL announcer is retiring to spend more time with his family.

Incoming: Next week’s posts will include my Best One-Word Movie Titles, more Annoying Sayings & Misused Words, and some other great stuff. This was the best week so far for this fledgling blog and that’s mainly due to all of the reader participation I’ve received through comments left here, personal emails and all the involvement on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks for reading this week. Come back Monday for some more.

03.31.09 – Tuesday

Whereabouts: Philadelphia, PA

Word: subterfuge [suhb-ter-fyooj] n. an artifice or expedient used to evade a rule, escape a consequence, hide something, etc.

Birthday: René Descartes (1596), Johann Sebastian Bach (1685), Joseph Haydn (1732), César Chávez (1927), William Daniels(1927), Gordie Howe (1928), Liz Claiborne (1929), Richard Chamberlain (1934), Shirley Jones (1934), Barney Frank (1940), Christopher Walken (1943), Gabe Kaplan (1945), Al Gore (1948), Rhea Perlman (1948), Ed Marinaro (1950), Angus Young (1955), Ewan McGregor (1971), Josh Saviano (1976)

Occurrence: 1918Daylight Saving Time is first used. I’ve heard all the reasons why DST is a good idea. None of them appeal to me. It’s just a hassle. Except when I’m at a bar when we’re turning the clocks back. Then, I mean hey, one more hour of drinking. When is that ever a bad thing?

Standpoint: I like police officers. I know lots of people who don’t. Most have had a bad experience with a cop. Some just like thumbing their nose at authority. (Rock on, rebel.) But being a police officer can’t be easy. I can understand why they might sometimes be rude. First, people generally lie to them. Hardly anyone tells the exact truth. At least not right off the bat. Cops always have to ask a million questions to get to the bottom of anything. That’s gotta be frustrating. Second, imagine if – every conversation that you had in a day – you had to worry about someone either lunging at you or sprinting away and diving over some fence. I’d find it hard to remain forever-courteous in that situation. So I get it. I appreciate everything that law enforcement does for our society. But what Dallas Police Officer Robert Powell did to Ryan and Tamisha Moats was borderline criminal. Guy definitely shouldn’t be a cop. Or even a junkyard security guard. Moats, however, handled the situation like a gentleman and continues to do so. The saddest part about the whole incident is that, if Moats wasn’t an NFL running back, we would’ve never even known it occurred.

Quotation: A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light.Henry Morgan

Soupçon: The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms prohibits the use of the word “refreshing” in describing any alcoholic beverage. I thought old Zima ads might’ve used the word but I can’t find any official use of the word “refreshing.”

Tune: Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” has always confused me. If she’s singing, “You’re so vain/You probably think this song is about you,” then wouldn’t the song at least be partially “about” whoever the hell she thinks is “so vain?” I think so. Furthermore, Simon has never confirmed who she’s referring to. Popular speculation names several suspects: Mick Jagger, Cat Stevens, Warren Beatty, Kris Kristofferson and James Taylor. Apparently, back then, if you played the guitar or happened to be Warren Beatty, you had a pretty good shot of dating Ms. Simon.

Link: Calvin and Hobbes Wonderland – Everything you could possibly need about the awesome comic strip by Bill Watterson.

Gallimaufry: It’s no secret that I like President Obama. But funny is funny. Check out Barack Obama’s Teleprompter’s Blog…Ever wished for super powers? Sure you have. Let Cracked explain why you don’t want them…Using TweetDeck for Twitter is my new vice. I highly recommend it.