October 31, 2011

word

cognoscenti [kon-yuhshen-tee, kog-nuh-] n. persons who have superior knowledge and understanding of a particular field, especially in the fine arts, literature, and world of fashion

birthday

John Keats (1795), Dan Rather (1931), Michael Landon (1936), David Ogden Stiers (1942), Peter Frampton (1943), Sally Kirkland (1944), Brian Doyle-Murray (1945), John Candy (1950), Peter Jackson (1961), Johnny Marr (1963), Dermot Mulroney (1963), Rob Schneider (1963), Adam Horovitz (1966), Vanilla Ice (1967)

standpoint
Over the weekend, the Philadelphia area got an early snowstorm and the alarmists were out in full force. One local newswoman warned people whose bed was near a window next to a tree to sleep in another room for fear wind might blow icy branches through the glass panes and be “potentially fatal.” She was being completely serious. 

Hurricane Schwartz and anyone else who claim to predict the weather should be taken as seriously as any FoxNews anchor.

Is it going to be sunny? Is it going to rain? Is it going to snow? What’s the weather guy/girl say? We all ask these questions constantly even though most of us understand forecasting the weather is next to impossible. And that’s due to the simple fact that forecasting the weather is actually impossible.

No one knows what’s going to happen. Yes, I’ll admit they’ve got a slightly better idea about tomorrow’s weather but only slightly. But Hurricane and his cronies aren’t offering their opinions; they’re posing as weather authorities.

It’s fucking genius if you think about it. Without the weather, local news programming is diminished to a tally of all the awful shit that happened during the course of the day, and the rehashing of sporting events that most everyone watched all ready. Without the weather, local news programming has no hold over us. Without that control, hardly anyone would watch. And so, it drums up scary situations in which Mother Nature will make mincemeat out of those of us who neglected to buy a few weeks’ worth of milk and bread hours before every time snowflakes fall from the sky.

For reasons I can’t explain, we still listen to it. And, sadly, we probably always will.

quotation

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ↔ George Carlin

tune

Sometimes I add a song to my iPod and then completely forget about it. A few months later I’ll be driving along listening on shuffle and the song will make a reappearance. And I realize that, for whatever reason, I wasn’t ready to appreciate the song until that moment in time. Such was the way with “Changing” by The Airborne Toxic Event.

gallimaufry

→ Hopefully, this dude will stop talking shit for a while. The Philadelphia Eagles completely embarrassed Rob Ryan and the Dallas Cowboys last night. Guess Andy Reid gets to keep his job for a little longer.

→ This is crazy. 7 BILLION PEOPLE. It’s kinda perplexing.

→ In case you’re wondering what the next frivolous thing we’re all supposed to be worrying about might be, look no further: Sonic Drugs.

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04.06.10 – A Tuesday

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word

sojourn [n. soh-jurn; v. soh-jurn, soh-jurn] n. 1. a temporary stay: during his sojourn in Paris v. 2. to stay for a time in a place; live temporarily: to sojourn on the Riviera for two months

birthday

Raphael (1483), Jean-Baptiste Rousseau (1671), Pasquale Paoli (1725), James Mill (1773), Gerry Mulligan (1927), Merle Haggard (1937), Billy Dee Williams (1937), Barry Levinson (1942), John Ratzenberger (1947), Marilu Henner (1952), Michael Rooker (1955), John Pizzarelli (1960), Frank Black (1965), Jonathan Firth (1967), Paul Rudd (1969), Zach Braff (1975), Candace Cameron (1976)

standpoint

Ah, the end of an era. Capitulating to the wishes of the majority of its fans, the Philadelphia Eagles finally traded longtime quarterback Donovan McNabb to the Washington Redskins for a second-round draft pick this year and a conditional one next year.

True to their nature, Philadelphia sports enthusiasts, given exactly what they wanted, began to grumble. Did the Eagles get enough for McNabb? Will Kevin Kolb be the starter some think he can be or will he be the next Bobby Hoying? Why would the two teams make the deal on the eve of MLB’s Opening Day, one when the two cities’ baseball counterparts, the Philadelphia Phillies and the Washington Nationals, were set to square off?

People, please shut the hell up. From the start, you griped about the poor guy for eleven straight years. When he was chosen ahead of running back Ricky Williams at the draft, Eagles’ “fans” in attendance booed him. And, instead of buckling under the criticism, McNabb simply led the Eagles to five NFC Championships and one Super Bowl appearance. Just in case you’re slow, I’ll elaborate. That means during roughly half of his tenure in Philadelphia, the Eagles were at least the fourth best team in the NFL. They made the playoffs eight of those eleven years. In total, he’s won 92 games and is third on the list of current quarterbacks with a .651 winning percentage, wedged in between Peyton Manning and Brett Favre. It’s hard to imagine how much more all of you spectacular would’ve hated him if he actually did suck.

And now, Eagles fans, you have Kevin Kolb and you’ve no choice but to be happy with him. But, let’s face it, if Kolb comes out and has a bad start to the season, you’ll all be screaming for Michael Vick to come in and save the day. And if he doesn’t get it done, you’ll be asking for some other poor schmuck to give you the Super Bowl ring you desperately need to validate all those pathetically wasted Sundays, sitting on your couch wearing your “DAWKINS” jersey and begging anyone in earshot to answer the question, “Why doesn’t Reid run the ball more?” I hope Kolb gets it done. He seems like a quality fellow. But his stomach for bullshit is about to get tested. If the guy he’s replacing was only outmatched in terms of wins in the past decade by Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, and still deemed a shitty quarterback, what chance does Kolb stand? Is he going to be better than Brady or Manning? Not likely.

And, please, let’s not lament the terms of the trade. It’s ironic all you sports gurus claimed McNabb was junk on a daily basis, and now you’re the same nitwits who are bitching the Eagles didn’t get enough for him. It’s one or the other, people. Pick a side and stay on it for once, you wishy-washy nutjobs.

As for the timing of the trade and the fact it coincided with the first day of baseball, please give me a break. I’m not the most business-oriented of minds but even I understand the McNabb trade was a business deal, conducted between two businesses. There was millions of dollars at stake. When would’ve been a suitable time to make the trade? After the baseball season? Ridiculous.

By the tone of this rant, I hope it’s obvious that, while I don’t hate the NFL, I don’t have much respect for a lot of the people who play it and even less who make it their life’s devotion. But I do have respect for Donovan McNabb because he’s always been the underdog, even when he squarely didn’t deserve the role. Next season, I’ll be pulling for him. Even when he plays the Eagles. Because there’s nothing I like better when one guy proves a million idiots wrong.

quotation

It takes a kind of shabby arrogance to survive in our time, and a fairly romantic nature to want to. Edgar Z. Freidenberg

tune

Normally, I’d proffer there’s too many videos on YouTube made by people with nothing better to do. But in this instance, I’ll need to back down from that stance. A montage of The Office set to Ben Folds‘ “There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You” is located directly in my wheelhouse. And it should be in yours, too.

gallimaufry

→ I think our country is fantastic. This shitball church changed the wording of their sign when faced with proper political pressure. I’m going to speak more on this tomorrow but, for the time being, I hope everyone reading this understands our nation is in serious trouble.

How funny is this? Does this company have meetings? Wouldn’t it stand to reason at least one person present would say, “Wait, I’m not sure but I think someone told me lead paint is apparently bad for you now.”

→ On Philadelphia’s latest decision to relax about pot, District Attorney Seth Williams said, “We can’t declare a war on drugs by going after the kid who’s smoking a joint on 55th Street.” In an unrelated development, 55th Street property values are skyrocketing.

03.19.10 – A Friday

word

tome [tohm] n. 1. a book, esp. a very heavy, large, or learned book 2. a volume forming a part of a larger work

birthday

William Bradford (1890), Wyatt Earp (1848), William Jennings Bryan (1860), Earl Warren (1891), Moms Mabley (1894), Irving Wallace (1916), Richie Ashburn (1927), Phillip Roth (1933), Ursula Andress (1936), Sirhan Sirhan (1944), Glenn Close (1947), Harvey Weinstein (1952), Bruce Willis (1955), Andy Reid (1958)

standpoint

Drums, please. Once again, it’s time for another installment of the Wishing Well, a weekly post detailing wrongs I wanted to see righted in this decaying world of ours.

I WISH everyone would stop with the, “I told you so’s,” about Philadelphia 76ers guard Allen Iverson. Like many of us, the fellow has his share of problems. Why is it that when people like A.I. start facing his their demons, most of us feel the need to point out how right we were all along? Cut the dude some slack, for crying out loud. Compassion is truly dead.

I WISH we’d all just agree to the fact that FOX News, like most other news channels, is a bunch of right-wing nonsense. Why are we still having this debate? Are people really that stupid? Don’t answer that. I’m all ready down on people to know the answer.

I WISH I’d never seen the footage of former Olympic skier Bill Johnson‘s crash on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. It made me so uneasy, I won’t even post it here.

I WISH I never read another “helpful” piece, or hear anyone complain, about how we are losing our privacy online. Seriously, folks, let’s get stop trying to figure out what’s wrong with the internet and start a nationwide search for our common sense.

I WISH I was at this year’s SXSW. Next year, I’ll be there. Try to stop me suckas!

What about you, people? What are you wishing for?

quotation

Paranoids are not paranoid because they’re paranoid, but because they keep putting themselves, fucking idiots, deliberately into paranoid situations.Thomas Pynchon

tune

One of the best kept secrets of the Philadelphia music scene, although he shouldn’t be because he’s that damn good, is Ben Arnold. He’s been playing around here for two decades now and, if you ever have the opportunity, you should definitely check out one of his live shows. Here’s “So Low.”

gallimaufry

I’ve never met Lerato Nomvuyo Mzamane but, for this alone, I love the woman. Let’s all hope she puts Oprah in her proper place.

→ When I read garbage like this, I’m absolutely certain, sooner or later, no one will be allowed to do anything at all. Ever.

→ Holy shit. When I grow up, I want to be exactly like this guy.

→ For the record, I’ll have nothing to say about college basketball, which is currently experiencing an episode of “madness,” due to an overall dearth of fondness for the proceedings.

Tuesday – September 1st

After a month off, I’m back. Going to be tweaking this old blog quite a bit to get it where I know (deep down) it should be. I’ll be aggresively reshaping things and reworking sections. It may appear different from one day to the next as I attempt to find the perfect look and feel for your favorite blog. As usual, comments are always encouraged.

Word

 rubric[roo-brik] n. 1. a title, heading, direction, or the like, in a manuscript, book, statute, etc., written or printed in red or otherwise distinguished from the rest of the text 2. a direction for the conduct of divine service or the administration of the sacraments, inserted in liturgical books 3. any established mode of conduct or procedure; protocol 4. an explanatory comment; gloss 5. a class or category 6. Archaic. red ocher adj. 7. written, inscribed in, or marked with or as with red; rubrical 8. Archaic. red; ruddy

Birthday

 Engelbert Humperdinck (1854), Richard Farnsworth (1920), Rocky Marciano (1923), Art Pepper (1925), Boxcar Willie (1931), Ann W. Richards (1933), Conway Twitty (1933), Lily Tomlin (1939), Barry Gibb (1946), Dr. Phil McGraw (1950), Nicu Ceausescu (1951), Billy Blanks (1955), Gloria Estefan (1957), Kenny Mayne (1959), Bam Bam Bigelow (1961), Mohammed Atta (1968), Padma Lakshmi (1970), Jimmy Snuka Jr. (1971)

Standpoint

All right. While I was on my hiatus, my football team – The Philadelphia Eagles – signed ex-convict Michael Vick. Since I have been one of the biggest opponents of Vick‘s return to the NFL (not to mention society), I’m very much aware of the irony he’ll be wearing Eagles‘s green this autumn. Is it deplorable? Yes. Does it suck? Definitely. Can we do anything about it? Not at all. And, even if we could, it appears unlikely we even would.

Since the announcement of the signing, I’ve been listening to what everyone has to say on the issue (and it’s a lot), and whether an individual is completely outraged or just mildly annoyed by Vick coming to Philadelphia, it seems like everyone has he same plan for demonstrating their dismay. Not doing anything at all. For the record, posting anonymously on an internet message board or calling into a sports talk show does not qualify as taking a stand. Sorry.

According to official sources, “fewer than 10” season ticket holders have resigned and exactly none of the Eagles’ 44 corporate sponsors have withdrawn due to the Vick signing. So, while everyone with a working voice box was condemning Eagles’ management when it was announced and most fans were walking around staring incredulously at each other, asking the same question (“What the fuck?”), everything has returned to normal and I’m guessing Andy Reid and company knew that would be the case.

I still think Michael Vick is a disgusting excuse for a man, but now I’m looking at the rest of us and asking myself the same WTF question from above. Most likely, the reality is that we’ve become a bunch of gasbags who get animated and vocal about the things that bother us. Unfortunately, we’re not willing to do something as simple as depriving ourselves of watching a football game to try to force others to do the right thing.

Quotation

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.Henry David Thoreau

Tune

I’m in the middle of one of those phases I go through in which I try to find as much new music as humanly possible. So I’m listening to lots of stuff right now. Some good. Some not so much. One of the good I’ve come upon is Morning State – a band from Atlanta, GA. Check out “Oh Yeah.” (The YouTube video for this is weird, set to the opening of MST3K.) 

Gallimaufry

Check out my buddy John Sellers‘ piece – How Not To Behave On “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” – from TrueSlant.com. It’s funny because it’s true. Especially Rule 3.

Go on MyFOXPhilly.com and vote for RiverCrest Golf Club and Preserve in the category of Best Wedding Venue. You know. As a favor to me.

My good friend has started a new blog – Inspire Films and Television. Go take a visit and show him some love.