05.12.09 – Tuesday


Word: augur [aw-ger] n. 1. one of a group of ancient Roman officials charged with observing and interpreting omens for guidance in public affairs 2. soothsayer; prophet ∞ v. tr. 3. to divine or predict, as from omens; prognosticate 4. to serve as an omen or promise of; foreshadow; betoken: Mounting sales augur a profitable year ∞ v. intr 5. to conjecture from signs or omens; predict 6. to be a sign; bode: The movement of troops augurs ill for the peace of the area

Birthday: Florence Nightingale (1820), Henry Cabot Lodge (1850), Katharine Hepburn (1903), Archibald Cox (1912), Mary Kay Ash (1915), Julius Rosenberg (1918), Yogi Berra (1925), Burt Bacharach (1928), Tom Snyder (1936), George Carlin (1937), Ron Zeigler (1939), Steve Winwood (1948), Gabriel Byrne (1950), Billy Squier (1950), Ving Rhames (1959), Bruce McCullouch (1961), Emilio Estevez (1962), Vanessa A. Williams (1963), Stephen Baldwin (1966), Tony Hawk (1968), Kim Fields (1969), Samantha Mathis (1970), Jason Biggs (1978)

Standpoint: Depending on who’s talking, internet porn is either (a) an addiction as strong as alcoholism and gambling, (b) a productive way for couples to keep things fresh or (c) the downfall of society as we know it. As I see it, it’s just like everything else in that it depends on what you do with. If you’re one of those people who can’t leave the house to do basic things like go to work or buy groceries because you’re too busy sitting at your desk watching people have sex, it probably be best for you to unplug your computer and drop it off the roof. If you’re someone who enjoys it on a casual basis without breaking any laws or hurting anyone else, go ahead and have some fun. If you think that internet porn is going to turn your husband and children into sex-worshipping zombies, you should probably try to get out of the house more.  

The opinions are as numerous as they are debatable. But one thing you can’t really argue with is internet porn is easily accessible. When I started my first blog, I relied heavily on pictures to accent every post. So I used Google Image Search a lot. Probably far more than was originally intended. And I always found that, no matter what word or phrase I typed in, I would inevitably come across some sort of lewd sexual activity.

So, I thought it might be interesting to see if that is actually true.  Have we, as a society, found a way to make just about anything erotic? Could I put any word into Google Image Search and find naked people involved in sexual acts? I decided to try it.

For the purposes of this experiment, I defined porn as anything that couldn’t be shown on network television. It might not be the accepted gauge but it’s how I did it. Also, in the interest of keeping this blog respectable, I’m not going to go into detail about the particulars of any of the images. You’ll just have to take my word for it. Or try it yourself. Here’s a list of  random words that I used – starting with items that were in front of me at the time and continuing with whatever popped into my head – and how many images I had to go through to find some inappropriate content:

  • “camera” – 95th image
  • “bottle” – 5th image
  • “key” – 24th image
  • “phone” – 37th image
  • “book” – Search Expired (Google only allows the first 1000 images to be viewed)
  • “sidewalk” – 188th image
  • “brick” – 262th image
  • “desk” – 467th image
  • “chair” – 223rd image
  • “office” – 16th image
  • “girlfriend” – 11th image
  • “boyfriend” – 42nd image
  • “wife” – 2nd image
  • “husband” – 115th image
  • “pregnant” – 11th image
  • “female” – 4th image
  • “male” – 4th image
  • “woman” – 9th image
  • “man” – 26th image
  • “bear” – 40th image
  • “arm” – 200th image
  • “leg” – 16th image
  • “foot” – 5th image
  • “hand” – 10th image
  • “breakfast” – 924th image
  • “brunch” – 461st image
  • “lunch” – Search Expired
  • “dinner” – Search Expired
  • “snack” –  Search Expired 
  • “love” – 64th image
  • “romance” – 229th image
  • “flirting” – 59th image
  • “big” – 1st image
  • “crazy” – 6th image
  • “fun” – 94th image
  • “great” – 6th image
  • “boredom” – 62nd image

So what did all the image searching tell me about internet pornography?

I’ll let you know tomorrow in Part 2. For now, have a look over the results and tell me what conclusions you come to.

Quotation: Freedom lies in being bold.Robert Frost

Tune: They’re called People Under The Stairs. The song is “Plunken ‘Em.” Listen to it. Good, right?

Gallimaufry: There’s some rumblings about A.J. Jacob’s The Year of Living Biblically being made into a feature film. I wonder if it will stir up any controversy? ∞ Am I alone in feeling that if Carrie Prejean were to smother herself with her own breast implants, wait, I don’t even care enough to finish that sentence. ∞ If you’re not a hockey fan, tomorrow night’s Game 7 between the Capitals and the Penguins might just make you one. It promises to be one of the best Game 7’s in recent history. Check it out.

Incoming: Tomorrow – Part 2 of my Image Search experiment. Thursday – Your latest entries for Annoying Sayings & Misused Words. Friday3 Things To Do In Philly When You’re Dead.

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8 thoughts on “05.12.09 – Tuesday

  1. @Jay – I agree. It wasn’t the most productive use of my time. But haven’t you ever done something just to see what happens? The idea stemmed from a conversation I was having one night and I was encouraged to look into it. And so I did. While it didn’t go exactly as planned and I probably tackled too big of a subject for my current format, I don’t believe that it was a gigantic waste of my time. Also, I’m not exactly sure how you came up with the notion that I have an overabundance of time on my hands, but the reality is that my schedule is quite tight. That being said, I’d be more than happy to write about any subject you would offer that would benefit society. I’m all ears. And, in case, my words read in the wrong way, I want you to know that none of this response should be taken as sarcasm. Again, thanks for reading.

  2. yeah, i work for a paper and we use google image search all the time
    i know how it works – it takes time to look at over 400 pictures
    and my point is still that if you think of any word and search long enough, it will some how led
    to a sexual reference
    it has nothing to do with internet porn – its just that sex can be connected with everything
    google image is there for people who may need a picture for whatever topic they are searching -which
    may include pictures with a sexual content

    so like i said – this ” experiment ” is an incredible waste of time
    why don’t you use all this time you have to write about something that could benefit society
    instead of just adding to the useless clutter that fills the internet

  3. @jay – Finding the pictures really took no time at all. Google Image Search made it pretty easy. Thanks for reading.

  4. you have way to much free time dude !
    you looked at 467 pictures of a desk just to find one that had a sexual reference
    thats sad
    if you look long enough yes you will find something that has to do with sex
    sex is a big part of life
    but who the hell sits around looking through 467 pictures
    i would be ashamed to tell people i did this “experiment”

  5. Those of you who constantly reply to remarks with “that’s what she said” should stop. it is not funny or clever. never was. you sound, stupid, childish, and perverted when you say it, and people who hear it think less of you for it.

  6. @marcschuster – Thanks man. I found the results very interesting as well. I’ll have more of my thoughts on them tomorrow. And, yeah, doing the birthdays every day has really opened my eyes to how old I’m getting. Ha.

  7. Great article on internet porn… Very telling that “romance” is second-to-last, in front of “desk” by about 200 or so. And it’s good to know that Jason Biggs is only five years younger than me!

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